And then I think of my next example…a personal one.

My dad, Henry, was a quiet man; he was one of few words.  And when he spoke, he chose his words carefully.

Years ago a family member did something that was a slap in the face to my dad. The family member knew it!  She didn’t own up to it.  It angered me!  It was one of Dad’s sister’s.  I loved her, but at that moment, I resented her.  I was angry with her for being selfish and not realizing how her actions would affect my parents…and especially my dad, her brother.  My parents had bent over backwards to help her in practical and emotional ways.  What she did communicated utter disrespect and lack of appreciation.  There was no question about that.  Again, she was in the wrong.

I distinctly remember being in the driveway of my parents’ home.  I turned to my father and firmly declared, “Dad, this makes me so angry.  You know Aunt ___ is in the wrong!  Why don’t you confront her?  Why don’t you say something?  She will keep doing things like this if you don’t say something!”  Only one other time in my adult life had I ever spoke so passionately and forcefully to my dad.  I was compliant and respectful my entire life; my dad commanded respect.  I didn’t say any of this to him disrespectfully.  I was just frustrated…and angry with her!  I KNEW she was in the wrong.  I was hurt for both of my parents but especially dad as it was his baby sister.

Dad, who was a man of few words, turned to me and with kind and compassionate eyes, he said, “Puddie (his loving nickname for me), how many times?”  I shockingly replied, “What?  What do you mean?”  He again repeated, “How many times does He say to turn the other cheek?”  I said, “Daaaaad”.  He just looked at me.  That’s all it took.  His reminder of the verse in the Bible where Jesus tells his followers to turn the other cheek 70 x 7 is what Dad was referring to (Matthew 18:21-22). And in that moment, I melted. The look on his face spoke volumes. Those kind, compassionate and loving eyes of his pierced my heart and soul. More importantly, his reminder of Jesus’ words convinced me to drop the matter.  Dad didn’t have to say any more.  In those aged eyes that were full of godliness and wisdom, it was like he was burned a hole through me to say, “Release the anger.  Let go of the frustration and resentment, Laura.  Forgive as your Heavenly Father has forgiven YOU!”

I drove home thinking about my father’s example…and praying.  Praying that God would give me the strength to forgive my aunt for her selfishness and how it had impacted my parents.

I eventually did.  But the impact of my father’s words will stay with me forever.  His calm demeanor; his kind and loving eyes; how he spoke the words of His Savior, Jesus, to remind me of HIS forgiveness — and how he had no malice, bitterness or resentment.

This encounter happened years ago; so long ago in fact that I can’t even recall all the details of the offense. Both of my parents and this aunt are now in heaven.  What a blessing and comfort to know that!  But my “take away” from that day in my parents’ driveway was how the love and forgiveness in my dad’s heart was conveyed to me – and lived out in front of me!!  I wouldn’t trade that memory and life experience for a million bucks!

There are many traits, both physical and emotional, that I get from my wonderful dad…my brown eyes, my slowness, my thoroughness, my sense of justice and many other traits.  But if there’s one characteristic that I pray I follow in my dad’s shoes, it is his ability to forgive. 

Dad didn’t lecture on forgiveness.  He didn’t have me write a zillion Bible verses on forgiveness.  He didn’t even tell me stories on forgiveness.  But what he did on many occasions was to emulate forgiveness.  He was the epitome of it. 

I can recall many other examples, just like this one, where Dad would have been justified.  He had every RIGHT to hold a grudge or be unforgiving.

I wasn’t really aware of all the details with this situation.  But my mom relayed bits and pieces about someone my dad worked with at Delta, someone I knew.  He was a family friend.  We had many ties to this man’s family.  But he teased my dad.  Mom thought it went beyond teasing; she thought it was disrespectful and crossed the line of taunting and making fun of my dad. Again, I don’t know all the details, but I remember she and dad discussing it.  I remember her sticking up for Dad and losing much respect for this “so called friend”.  But Dad never held a grudge; he didn’t turn his back on this man.  They remained friends. Just like in the first example with my aunt, this scenario with Dad and his “friend” spoke volumes to me.

Dad believed too strongly in the Words of His Lord to hold on to any bitterness.  He released it to the Father.  He practiced turning the other cheek. 

And there’s the rub isn’t it.  I believe as Christians we make excuses not to forgive.  And the #1 reason is “I am justified”.  “I was wronged or offended”.  I’ve done it myself numerous times. Even if I haven’t said it out loud, I’ve thought, “He hurt me”.  “She knew exactly what she was doing!! I will never trust her again!”

In the last few years, I’ve had various friends confide in me of situations where family members are not speaking and are totally alienated from one another because of jealousy, resentment, misunderstandings and the like.  A friend recently said to me, “I’m done” when speaking of certain family members.  The thing is I know all parties involved so I certainly know she IS JUSTIFIED in her feelings. I know who is innocent and who has been the offender.  I empathize with her plight.

God and Jesus knew that we would encounter situations here on earth that totally tested our faith. Acquaintances would offend us. Co-workers would upset us. Family members would hurt us.  Even close friends and family would do things that make us feel betrayed and abandoned.  But here’s the thing.  If we respond just like the world and hold a grudge or don’t forgive, we are just like the world.  There’s no difference.

But what do we do with all those pent-up feelings and emotions?  How do we deal with it when someone we thought loved us does something intentionally or unintentionally to wound us?  It does happen.  It will happen.

It’s been my experience that it doesn’t really matter if you’re justified or not. 

Read that sentence again.  Why?  It’s taken me years to learn that lesson!  The Lord is still teaching me in this area.

It all boils down to a simple decision.

Will we relinquish that anger, that resentment, that pent up frustration/hurt to our Father God? – or will we hold on to it and have our own way?

Years ago when our son, Nathan, was a toddler, my husband and I began attending Family Life Marriage conferences.  This organization, under the umbrella of Campus Crusade for Christ, hosted “Weekend to Remember” conferences.  Norman and I made it a priority to attend.  Each year, the weekend of the conference was something we looked forward to and our marriage benefited greatly from the sessions.  There was rich spiritual and practical teaching that drew us closer to one another and the Lord — and the time away from everyday life was refreshing.

Early on in our marriage, I distinctly remember attending one of these weekend conferences.  I can’t tell you who the speaker was…obviously, someone who was older, wiser and further down the road than just a few years into marriage like us.  But the speaker shared some personal stories about conflict that had ensued between he and his wife through the years.  But when he came to the subject of forgiveness, he gave this definition.  “Forgiveness is giving up the right to punish”.  Through the 31+ years that Norman and I have been married that simple definition has stuck with me.  The Holy Spirit has brought it to mind numerous times within my marriage, but also in numerous other circumstances and relationships.

Why do I mention it?  Because I’ve learned, sometimes the hard way, that forgiveness begins with a decision to relinquish control and turn it all over to God.  It involves submitting your will, your emotions and ultimately your life to the Father.  It involves giving up your rights.  Most of us don’t like that.  Most of us think we’re entitled. 

There’s a delicate balance of standing up for yourself and not being a doormat, but still following the commands of Jesus.

A few months ago I was reading these verses in Matthew.  I was struck by the wording.  There’s no wiggle room.  There’s no fudging in God’s world.  His ways are certainly higher than ours.

In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus states the following: “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive you.”    Is that scary and a little disconcerting to you?  It is for me!  It’s quite the motivation to make forgiveness an act of obedience and a priority!

I close asking you, is there someone you need to forgive?  Have you been holding on to something trite for years?  Something huge and big?  If we were to talk, you could tell me how JUSTIFIED you are in holding on to it – and how the other party offended you.  Remember, friend.  Jesus was totally JUSTIFIED in holding his crucifixion and death against you/me, but HE didn’t.  He and the Father forgave you/me.  Follow HIS example.  Then, and only then, can you truly find freedom in Christ! 

I close with a verse that was the first one Norman and I memorized as a married couple.  It still is a great mantra from the Word on how to live and conduct yourself as a believer.  And it definitely sums up where we should be as sons and daughters of the King of Kings when it comes to forgiveness.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ Jesus also has forgiven you.”  Ephesians 4:32

I have been trying to write this article on forgiveness for a couple of weeks.  The problem is I have so much to say that I don’t really know where to begin.  The other problem is I didn’t really want to write on this topic (for some very personal reasons), but I’m trying to be obedient to what the Lord has told me.  Without question, HE has asked me to write on this topic.

Wouldn’t you know that this morning in Sunday School, the lesson was on forgiveness.  Coincidence?  I think not!

When you hear the word “forgiveness”, what comes to mind?  Is it possibly someone you’ve never been able to forgive, a struggle you’ve had in this area?  Maybe it’s just how difficult the task truly is.

When I hear or meditate on the word “forgiveness”, I think of 3 people:  Jesus, Joseph in the Bible and my dad.

Jesus.  Perfect Jesus.  Even hanging on the cross in excruciating pain from nails in his wrists and feet, thorns puncturing fragile skin on his scalp and head, not to mention all the flesh that had been torn and was bleeding profusely from lashes with a whip and not being able to breathe easily on the cross, Jesus still prayed to the Father, “Forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing” (paraphrase).  Even as folks in the crowd mocked him, even as people in the crowd made fun and even as a Roman soldier jested, “If you are the Son of God, come down off of that cross” (Matthew 27:40), He was still loving and forgiving!!  Jesus exuded love and forgiveness in his most difficult hours of life, suffering on that rugged cross for you and me.  None of us would’ve blamed him if he had shouted back.  None of us would’ve blamed Him if He called down the angels to rescue Him.  After all, He didn’t deserve what happened to Him.  Thankfully, Jesus did not give in to His own will, but released Himself to the Father.  I can’t hardly wrap my brain and heart around that kind of love and forgiveness Jesus carried out as He gave His life up for each of us.

Just to know that Jesus paid the ultimate price for MY sins and YOUR sins is truly humbling. He didn’t deserve it.  He was the PERFECT substitute for you and me. When I admit my sin to Him, He forgives me and removes my sin as far as the east is from the west.  Mind blowing!!!

Joseph in the Bible was a forerunner to Jesus. He wasn’t perfect by any stretch.  We certainly witness that as we read accounts of him interacting with his family in Genesis 37:2-50:26.  I’ve heard some preachers say, and I’ve also read  commentators who believe that Joseph was close to perfect.  He didn’t do anything wrong.  I disagree with that perspective. Early on, when he was young, he was arrogant and boastful.  He rubbed it in his brothers’ face that he was Papa Jacob’s favorite son, and that his brothers would one day bow down to him.  Whatever the case, you know the story.  Joseph’s brothers plotted and sold him into slavery.  He was stripped of his beautiful coat that Daddy gave him, beaten and pretty much left in the desert to die – or would’ve been if Reuben hadn’t stepped in. What his brothers did to him was just unfathomable.  Left to die in a deep cistern in the desert – and then sold into slavery.

If you want to read the full account, turn to Genesis 37:12-36.

Fast forward.  Joseph goes through much after he’s sold into slavery.

As Potiphar’s loyal servant, he is unjustly accused of rape by Mrs. Potiphar; even after being a godly man of upright character who runs away from a proposition from the Mrs., he is unfairly imprisoned; and then he’s forgotten by the Pharoah’s cupbearer.

We see this young man go through all of these trials, and finally he rises through the ranks to be rewarded and become second in command over all of Egypt.

Bottom line.  By the time Joseph’s brothers appear before Joseph to beg for food during great famine, he harbors no resentment. He doesn’t seem to have to work through his unforgiveness; there’s no process involved. Even when he’s in prison, even during his time as a slave as he’s adjusting to life in Egypt, if he deals with unforgiveness or bitterness, we are not privy to it.  Was God working on his heart during that time? Or through all the many valleys and struggles had he learned to depend on his Father God like never before?

It makes me wonder. 

Genesis 49:23-24 seems to indicate that through all of his troubles, he did mature spiritually and look to His Heavenly Father.

“With bitterness archers attacked him (Joseph); they shot at him with hostility.  But his bow remained steady, his strong arms stayed limber, because of the hand of the Mighty One of Jacob, because of the Shepherd, the Rock of Israel.”  These verses reveal that Joseph did turn to God to “steady” him and keep him on the right track.  Who else did he have to turn to?  Not his father who played favorites his entire life, not his brothers, not servants.  It was either do it Joseph’s way or follow the One True God. 

But my favorite line from the passage about Joseph that is the takeaway from this entire story is also one of my faves from the entire Word of God.  Here it is…drum roll, please… “You (his brothers) meant evil against me, but God used it for good.” 

But could God have accomplished this incredible example of reconciliation and forgiveness and bring the family back into unity if Joseph had held on to his “rights”?  God can do anything, but I think in this case, the answer is obvious.  God had to get Joseph to a point of full submission before he could allow a sweet family reunion.

Don’t you agree?

And then I think of my next example…

A couple of years ago, I was subbing in a 1^st grade class.  Now, you have to understand that I substitute teach at just one elementary school near me.  It’s the school where our son, Nathan, attended.  I love it; the teachers are wonderful!  They are conscientious, devoted, loving and as I always tell others, “these teachers are there for the right reasons” (to make an impact and difference in the lives of their kiddos).  Typically, I substitute in 2^nd grade – 5^th grade, and I’ll also sub in art, music and physical education.  But K or 1^st grade is not my niche.  I love younger children in that age category, but I don’t have training or a background with that particular age group. But when they really need me and can’t find a substitute, I will reluctantly sub in 1^st or K. Whatever the case, I had been in various first grade classes over the course of about 3 weeks.

This particular day I was in a fairly typical first grade class.  Some kids were already reading fluently; some kids were still struggling to read. Some were well-behaved, and some, well….

Usually when I’m in a new classroom, the first thing I do after reading the teacher’s lesson plans is learn the children’s names.  If I can do that and not have to say, “You in the blue shirt” it helps immensely for our day to run smoothly…and to cut down on discipline issues, etc.  And my goal is to build a rapport with each child.  Even as a substitute, I want to make each one feel special – and know he/she is not a number to me.

There were many challenging students in this class, but there were many sweet, well-behaved kiddos as well.  But one young man real stood out, and I gravitated to him throughout the day. I try very hard to not play favorites.  But I couldn’t help but notice this young man. He had blonde hair and gorgeous crystal blue eyes.  His responses were so polite with “yes m’am, no m’am, please and thank you”.  Needless to say, he was a beautiful boy.  His name was Lincoln; I couldn’t help but think how that name suited him.  I learned his name quickly as he reminded me of Abraham Lincoln, not because of his looks, but because of his character.

Even more than his physical attractiveness, his heart was obvious! In just one day, I had noticed him helping a little girl when things accidentally toppled out of her bookbag.  I had witnessed him help another boy with a math assignment, even though I hadn’t instructed him to do so.  When others were pushing and shoving to be first in line, he exhibited self-control as he was standing back being patient.  Throughout the day, this pint-size kiddo impressed me so! He listened well and obeyed my instructions.   I came home and told my husband that I knew this young man was from a good family. 

A few months later, I was driving home from school and got directly behind the school bus.  It stopped at a house up the street from us.  Who did I see get off the yellow school bus but this young Lincoln?!

I was stunned!  I knew there was a young family who had moved in a month or so ago.  Norman and I had witnessed a few children out playing in the yard, but I was still so surprised to see him!

The next time I was in this same first grade class, Lincoln stood out again!  And, he remembered me.  By this time, he and I had bonded. 

He was self-controlled and seemed extremely thoughtful of others.  He listened, obeyed and followed instructions.  He smiled at others and me.  I told Norman that I was convinced Lincoln was a Christian!

I knew from our first encounter that there was something special about Lincoln.  He didn’t fit in with the other kids. He STOOD OUT!   He helped at every turned.  He was kind to everyone around him.  He went out of his way to be loving and considerate.  Not your typical first grader. Most of the children seemed to like him, but that did not seem to be his primary motivation.

Many months later I was going through the drive through at a car wash.  The huge spinning brushes washed the exterior of my car.  Then, pulled to another area to use their vacuums to clean the inside.  It was one of those frigid days when the wind was whipping, and the temps were plummeting.  But my car was so dirty.  As I pulled into a space to wipe the outside down with some of their rags and also vacuum the floorboards, I happened to look up at the car parked next to me.  Sitting in the passenger’s seat was Lincoln.  He recognized me immediately!!  His dad was out drying their car and getting every spot clean.  I waved, and he waved back.  We were excited to see one another!  In a few minutes, I was putting the vacuum hose back in its holder and was about to depart when I felt a tap on my shoulder.  It was Lincoln’s dad.  He said, “My son knows you and wants to talk to you.”  Lincoln had emerged from the car and ran to hug me.  Needless to say, I hugged him back.  He yelled first thing, “Mrs. Neeley!!!”  Oh, how that made my heart sing and lifted my spirits for the rest of the day and several that followed.  We talked briefly as all of us were freezing.  I sang Lincoln’s praises to his dad…and told him how proud he should be of his son and gave him specifics.

I could write more about Lincoln, but I won’t. 

Unfortunately, Lincoln is moving from our neighborhood in just a few days.  I’m saddened to see him, as well as his dad, mom and three siblings go.  God is calling Lincoln’s dad into full-time ministry as a pastor.  His family is headed to Louisville first for a year of study in seminary, and then they will move back to California where he will be a pastor of a local church.

At this point, you’re probably saying, “So, what’s your point, Laura?”

Friends, I was only in the classroom three times with Lincoln.  I observed him in the hall, and I encountered him on the playground a time or two.  But my point is this.

Lincoln made an impression on me.  He didn’t fit in with the other 1^st graders.  He STOOD OUT in all the important and meaningful ways.  He was

KIND

COMPASSIONATE

ATTENTIVE

OBEDIENT

THOUGHTFUL

HELPFUL

SELFLESS

LOVING

I could go on and on, but what do people think of you when they encounter YOU just once?  Twice?  Three times?

As a believer in Jesus Christ, our goal should be for others to see Jesus in us.  Not for us to fit in and try to be like the world or look like the world. 

My brief encounters with young Lincoln impacted me.  This young 1^st grader made me think, “I wonder what others think about me when I meet or work with them for a day?  Do I point them to Jesus?” 

I definitely thought of this verse in relation to Lincoln.  Matthew 5:16 “Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”  All I know is Lincoln sure encouraged my heart!!  His good works reflected Jesus.  How about you, friend?  Are you trying to fit in with the world or stand out for Jesus?

When I was a child growing up, I was blessed to live in a wonderful neighborhood called “Edgemoor”.  Folks that lived there were more than neighbors; they became family.  Since our family’s yellow brick house sat on a corner lot, our large yard was the neighborhood playground.  So many games of kickball, softball, volleyball and many other games were played in our yard with tons of neighborhood kids (and sometimes my parents!).  We would stay out for hours and just beg our parents for “a few more minutes”.  Friendships were formed; memories made; lessons taught.  One thing I distinctly remember is that when we were playing softball or kickball, if there was a play that was controversial, and the two teams couldn’t come to a decision about who was out or safe or if it was a foul ball, “the powers in charge” on each time would just yell “do over”.  “Do over” meant we would just wipe the slate clean of the original play, and literally start again as if there had never been an original play.  “Do overs” took care of many squabbles, angry emotions and arguments that could’ve gone on forever.

God, in His infinite mercy, seems to be the Master of “do overs”.  Think about it.

I was first drawn to God as a young child.  But I knew that God was holy, and I was a sinner.  I knew Jesus was the ONLY ONE who was the bridge to get me back to God and be reconciled to Him. I’m not sure if I understood all of that at the age of 10, but I knew I was missing something and was empty inside. When I prayed to ask Jesus to come into my heart and life and be my Savior, He came in and filled me up.  Immediately, I was different on the inside.  The “do over” process started to take place!!

Psalm 103:12 reminds me and all of us that He removed “my sins as far as the east is from the west” Psalm 103:12. What a comfort! That burden of sin lifted!!

But He does the same for every individual who ever calls on Him as Savior.  You don’t have to be in church; you don’t have to talk with a preacher; you don’t have to be with anyone else; you can totally be alone with God and Jesus!

When we think back on people in the Bible, “do overs” seem to be the norm vs the exception. 

Peter is the first one that comes to mind.  His mouth got him into trouble always as he spoke before he thought.  Not only was he impulsive with his speech, but his actions were impulsive with a capital I.  His actions usually got him into trouble.  But yet, Peter, the disciple that seemed to struggle the most is the one who Jesus would use to spread the gospel.  Peter…the disciple who we see fail the most is the one who would preach at Pentecost!! 

Peter, the one who walked on water for a brief moment or two, wasn’t there at the crucifixion; he baled; he blew it!! Not only was Peter not there, but he denied knowing Jesus not once, not twice but three times when Jesus needed him most!!  Don’t you know Peter beat himself up for being a coward for not even acknowledging to a servant girl that He knew Jesus of Nazareth?  But Jesus didn’t hold a grudge. Instead of that betrayal holding Peter back, Jesus gives him a “do over”.  More than anyone in the Bible, Peter exemplifies to me how Jesus never gives up on us and how a “do over” from Jesus can totally transform your life like nothing else!  Peter became a leader among the disciples, but more importantly he became a leader in God’s kingdom.  He became a witness that grew the church and traveled far and wide to tell so many about His friend, Jesus, who was also God’s Son and the Savior of the world.  Peter grew into the potential Jesus saw in him…all because of the “do over”.  Peter exemplifies the transforming power of allowing Jesus to change you from the inside!!

Moses is another favorite person of mine in the Bible.  But early on in his life, most people would consider Moses a failure.  He lost his temper (yes, I know it was for a good reason defending a fellow Hebrew), but he actually killed a man. Bottom line…he committed murder!! Not only was he on the run, he stayed in the desert for 40 years.  How in the world could God still use a killer?  How could God make something of a man who had fled his own people and was hiding out in the remote parts of the land?  But He did.  God gave Moses a huge “do over” as well.  This man of God led the Israelites when he himself didn’t know the exact plan; this man of God put up with uncertainty, whining, complaining and always having to be in charge;  this man of God, who was “slow of speech” went before Pharoah as God’s spokesperson; this man of God had an incredible faith so much so that he was included in the Hall of Fame/Faith in Hebrews 11.

What about David?  Yes, I know David sinned when he had relations with Bathsheba (another man’s wife) and then plotted to have Uriah killed.  He committed two horrible sins.  He suffered some major consequences for his sins…losing his firstborn child, having family troubles and conflict with his son, etc.  But still.  God used him mightily as a great king over Israel.  God used the phrase when speaking of David, “Man after my own heart.”  The Psalms reveal to us the timeless truths about Our Sovereign God, but they so allow us to glimpse the heart of this sinful but devoted man of God.  I so relate to David…praising God in song one minute, and then realizing my sin the next!  But yet, Jesus would come from the line of David!! How stunning and humbling is that!!

What about Paul?  Most of us would consider him the greatest missionary and witness for Jesus Christ that has ever lived.  But God gave this zealot a major “do over”.  Prior to his Damascus Road experience where Saul met the One True God, Saul was on the wrong side of things and killing believers!!  God provided Saul such a “do over” that he even changed his name in the process!  Talk about a major overhaul!!  What an incredible blessing!!  God could’ve kicked Saul to the street, but instead he used that zeal, knowledge of the scriptures, and his passion for good.

The woman at the well is just another example of how Jesus is the ONLY ONE who can provide us “do overs” – even when He knows the worst about us!

Are you discouraged and feel like you’ve messed up too much for God to redeem you and make anything valuable out of your life?  Do you feel as if you’ve sinned or been too bad for God to redeem you? All I can say is you’re in good company, friend.  All of us, including most people featured in the Bible, are in the same boat.

The longer I live, the more I realize that God is so gracious and merciful.  There are still consequences to our poor choices and sin.  But oh, the “do overs” God provides are stunning!!  He, as our Maker, Creator and Heavenly Father, wants the best for us. 

One of the boys that lived in my neighborhood was Ricky.  Ricky was probably the best athlete…and went on to be a major league baseball player for a short time (before he became a preacher!).  But I digress.  You can only imagine how competitive Ricky was as a kid.  After all, he was an incredible athlete.  The rest of us were mediocre at best.  But Ricky didn’t always LIKE when we called “do overs”.  He was super competitive!!  He wanted to be on the winning team (and usually was because of his own athletic skills).

So, what’s my point?  Most of us kids pushed for “do overs” because we knew it was best to keep us all friends, to keep us all playing and not arguing.  Our Heavenly Father definitely knows what’s best for each of us.  We just need to let God “call the shots” and provide His best vs being like Ricky and wanting our own way.

Of course, none of us can literally go back and erase little, big or massive mistakes we’ve made in life.  But when we turn our life over to Jesus, and we do our part to read the Word and stay connected to Him in prayer, the “old self” begins to decrease and die off. The “new self” begins to emerge as part of the “do over” only Jesus offers (Ephesians 4:22-32).

About a month ago, Norman and I went to Waffle House one Saturday morning for breakfast.  We struck up a conversation with our waitress.  She informed us that she had been sober for 6 years+.  Her words, countenance and tone of voice indicated how grateful she was.  I asked her point blank if it was God who helped turn her life around.  Without hesitation, she told me it was – and that He helps her daily to keep it in the right lane.  Isn’t that true for each of us, whether we have an addiction or not? 

So if you’ve disrespected your spouse, if you’ve lost your temper with your kids, if you’ve cussed and let something slip when you shouldn’t have, if you’ve gossiped, if you’ve had ugly thoughts, if you’ve been a glutton with food, if you’ve not just had a drink or two but gotten drunk, if you’ve blown your witness at work, if you’ve done things you’re not proud of, if you have an addiction, if you’ve succumbed to temptation in your thought life, actions or whatever the case may be… come before the Lord, confess it all specifically and repent.  Turn from that behavior and humbly ask the Lord for a “do over”.  Don’t be flippant. Realize the gift of forgiveness and starting over comes with a huge sacrifice that cost Jesus His precious and perfect life.  Realize you’re not capable of the “do over” on your own…only through the blood of Jesus.

Give God your junk. Ask Him to forgive you.  Again.  Trust and believe that He can transform you and give you a “do over”.  In Jeremiah 32:17, the prophet reminds us that “nothing is too difficult for him”. 

I’m praising and thanking God for the “do overs” He has given me in my life.  And that He continues to be patient with me when I don’t learn from my mistakes and keep repeating them – or when I don’t trust Him fully.  He is a merciful, patient, loving and incredible Heavenly Father who always gives His children “do overs” and provides what’s best.

Take time to thank Him for being a God of the “do over” today.

Someone reading this post needs this message today. I’m praying for you!

Have you ever tried to tell God how His plan for you or your loved ones is wrong? 

Maybe you’re like me, and He has called you to a task, given you an assignment or made it clear what your job needs to be, and you have enumerated ALL the numerous reasons why you can’t step up to the plate.  Maybe you feel inadequate; maybe the task involves giving up too much of your precious time; maybe you can’t see yourself in the role he’s called you to or maybe you just plain don’t want to.  You’re not just a reluctant child and disobedient child, but you have an attitude as well.

All I can say is I’ve been there, friend.  You’re not alone.

Throughout the Bible, we as humans are compared to clay.  When using this analogy, the Bible refers to God as The Potter.  At random, The Potter may decide to start all over with his masterpiece (us) and “crush” his creation and begin again.  But in many verses, it states that the clay tries to tell The Potter, God, what to do and how to do it.

Isaiah 29:16 in The Message version states it like this.  “Doom to you!  You pretend to have the inside track.  You shut God out and work behind the scenes, plotting the future as if you knew everything, acting mysterious, never showing your hand.  You have everything backward!  You treat the potter as a lump of clay.  Does a book say to its author, ‘He didn’t write a word of me?’  Does a meal say to the woman who cooked it, ‘She had nothing to do with me?’”

Pretty stark, heh?  But haven’t you been there?  I have; I’ve tried to tell God a thing or two and thought I knew better than Him at times.  I’ve done this with my own life.  I’ve certainly done it in marriage with my hubby.  And I’ve especially done it from a parent’s perspective…I’ve tried to tell God what I think is best for our adult son, Nathan.  Are you with me?

When I was a little girl and teenager in church, I remember singing the hymn, “Have Thine Own Way”.  Very seldom do you hear this lovely hymn much in churches today.

But the words are etched in my mind and heart.

“Have thine own way, Lord,

Have thine own way.  Thou are the potter; I am the clay.

Mold me and make me

After thy will,

While I am waiting, Yielded and still.”

Some of the lines that stand out to me are about the potter and the clay.  Is it absurd to think of the clay telling the potter what to do and how to move His hands and what shape to make?  It truly is!  This one analogy shows our proper place in the scheme of things.  God is so much bigger, wiser and more sovereign than we can imagine.  We are truly clay in His hands.  But yet, He has so designed us that the God of the Universe gives us the choice, whether or not we allow Him to shape, construct, crush, sculpt and use us for His glory.

The next verb that stands out to me is MOLD.  Are you moldable?  Is your heart and spirit teachable so that you can be still and listen to what the Holy Spirit is telling you to do…and then you YIELD to His request.

Or are you like the driver at the yield sign or round-a-bout that barrels through with no regard for anyone else?  Is it your way or the highway, so to speak?

What do you need to relinquish control of or surrender to the Potter to let Him be able to shape and mold you?

Are you allowing Him to Have His Own Way in your life?  It’s a continual process, isn’t it?  Just when I think I’ve arrived, and that I’ve turned the corner, God shows me how far I truly am from total surrender.

Will you bow your knee today and allow The Potter to shape and pattern you into His image?  Will you allow Him to shave off the rough edges and put you in vulnerable places or “crush” you so you can be “rebuilt” into the image of Jesus?

All I know is when I think back over my life, the moments that truly stand out and are memorable and most significant and meaningful are the ones when I’ve truly allowed myself to undergo the “shaping of The Potter”.  When I’ve allowed God to “have His own way” in my life, that’s when He blows my socks off and shows me what it truly means to have “abundant life”.

Years ago, God called me to Liberia, West Africa.  At first, I thought He was calling me to go as a full-time missionary.  He didn’t…obviously.  But the point is I went through the struggle to get to the place of complete and total surrender.

After months of dreaming about black babies, after praying tirelessly to the Lord and seeking His will, after getting 10 shots (yes, I said 10!) with my girlfriend who was supposed to go (and had initially contacted me), I finally got peace after talking with my former youth pastor, Larry Lawrence.  Larry, who is and always will be a spiritual giant, listened to what God had taken me through for many months to prepare me.  But Larry’s wise counsel struck a nerve when he said, “Maybe God isn’t calling you to go to Africa full-time, but He wants to get you to the point where you would be willing to go if He did.”  It was a huge turning point for me.  Larry nailed it!  That was exactly it.  Even though God didn’t call me to be a full-time missionary (and I didn’t know all of that at the time), He had to get me to the point where I was wiling to say “yes” if He had asked me to go and give up everything. I finally bowed my knee and said, “Yes, Lord, if you want me to go to Africa and live that far away from family and friends, I’m willing to do that.  I will give up my teaching career; I will give up my life; I will give up the vision I had of my life.  I will do all of that and more to serve you and be a witness for you.”

I ended up going for only 2 weeks. It wasn’t for life or a full-time “call”.  But I didn’t know that at the time.  The point was…He got me to the point of surrender.  It’s there I want to live daily.

It was an unforgettable experience that I carry with me.  It truly changed my perspective, and my life.  But it started with submission.  It began with letting the Potter be in control.  Weeks prior, as the Lord was dealing with me, it began with singing the song, “Have Thine Own Way”, but it culminated with singing the hymn “Wherever He Leads I’ll Go” in church on a Sunday night.  While in Africa, God showed me what was possible when I let HIM control my life vs ME telling Him what was possible and what I was willing to do.  It works so much better when The Potter shapes the clay vs the clay trying to tell The Potter what’s best.

Does any of this resonate with you?

It’s been 30+ years since I traveled to Africa as a short-term volunteer.  But this I know.  At times, I still struggle with allowing God to truly be My Potter.  It’s something I pray about all the time.  But my desire is to be that piece of clay that is moldable, shapeable and willing to be open, vulnerable and obedient to The Potter’s hands and will for my life.

Isn’t it what the Christian life is all about it? 

I pray as you read this YOU submit and surrender to The Potter.  It’s the only way to truly live!  Our pastor, Dennis Watson, says quite frequently, “Who is more inclined to make a mess of your life, you or God?”  I remind myself and you, my friend, to let The Potter take control.  Picture yourself as clay…limp, lifeless and without purpose until The Potter picks you up and turns you into His masterpiece.  Without the yielding, we are just like unbelievers, living for self and striving for the things that don’t matter in this world. 

More on The Potter and clay in a future post.

Well, my first post re this topic might have seemed juvenile.  But sometimes lessons God puts on my heart for the kiddos speak volumes to me.

That hole inside each of us we try to fill with varying things.  Even good things can be such a distraction or weak imitations.

Family, for instance, is a great thing!!  Didn’t God ordain family and relationships from the beginning of time?  Of course, but I do think that many of us are prone to even put relationships in the family above Him.  At least, I know I am.

Early on in our marriage, I prayed for God to help me love HIM first, my hubby next and my parents after that.  After God blessed us with a son, I realized that it was easy to get that out of balance as well.  As a mom, putting your children first is an easy temptation – and one that society/world truly condones.  But doing that breeds insecurity in the child/children and creates problematic ripple effects in the family.

Even as an adult now, I want our son to know and realize that he is not first.  As much as I love Nathan, I want him to know God comes first in my life, and then his dad.  That’s not always easy to live out. 

Only being filled up with the Lord and spending time with Him allows us to keep all of it in proper perspective and with the right priorities.

Just like I told the kiddos in VBS one day, God knows our heart.  He knows if we’re just using Him to get what we want – and that’s the only reason we’re taking the time to chat with Him.  Or if we are truly desiring a relationship with Him – to know Him, praise Him, thank Him and be molded into His image.

I don’t want to be guilty of wanting the “gift” without acknowledging/knowing and loving the “Giver”.

If you’re a parent, then this analogy should be one you can relate to.  Have you ever felt USED by your child?  Maybe he/she was away at college and only called home because he/she needed some money or a certain item?

Ever been at an event for your child, and he/she makes it obvious that the only reason he/she is glad you came is so you can purchase items at the concession stand or because you have money?

Every parent on the planet knows the pain from those type scenarios.  Think for a minute about how God must feel when we use and abuse Him as well.

Recently, I’ve heard several different people say, “God rarely speaks to me” or “I’ve never heard God speak to me”.  Maybe I’m going out on a limb here, but if we truly want to be filled up and KNOW God, I think we need to do our part…we need to be INTENTIONAL to come sit in His lap, be still and cozy up to Him.  We need to sit on his lap, as we would our own earthly father or mother and love on Him.  Not just wait for what He will give us.

I certainly know I need to do more of that.  And not just talk to Him, but listen and wait …wait to hear that still, small voice. And be willing to sacrifice time or something precious to me to make uninterrupted time with Him a priority.

This week I’ve been getting ready to go out of town on a girls’ getaway trip.  It’s only for 5 days, but still.  Not only do I need to be packed and ready, I want to leave the house totally clean, things in order and food for the hubby.  Doesn’t sound like that much of a tall order.  But the week prior to the trip, tons of things came up that I wasn’t expecting.  All that to say, I usually make time for the Lord first thing in the am.  But yesterday, I didn’t.  Yesterday, I caught myself “praying on the run” as it were.  You know…little sentence prayers in the car as I was driving.  Nothing wrong with that, in my opinion, if that’s not your main time with the Father.  Oh, I had sat for about 2 minutes and read a devotion…I had uttered a quick prayer.  But then I was off with all of my tasks.  I’m not trying to be legalistic.  I know God understands when we have major responsibilities.  But I did have time to spend with Him yesterday.  I just made the wrong choices.

I feel the difference on the days I opt to replace our time.  When I do, I know I truly am depriving myself of that rich relationship.  More than anything, I want to know the Father in an intimate and close way…and love on Him and let Him love on me and fill me up.  I want Him to share things with me as His child and daughter.

Years ago, I heard that God had a phone number.  I thought that was a strange phrase until I heard “the rest of the story”, so to speak.  If you want to hear from God and allow Him to speak into your life, look up Jeremiah 33:3. “Call unto me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”

For me, there’s nothing more important than hearing from the Lord and having that conversation with Him.  I’ve learned the hard way that only He can truly fill me up.  Once He does, then I’m free to experience everything else He has in store for me. 

Because He made us, He knows how to fill us better than anyone else. 

Years ago, Dunkin Donuts had a silly commercial where the little guy with a mustache was near a conveyer belt and he constantly repeated, “Time to make the donuts.  Time to make the donuts.”  That ridiculous slogan and commercial is a reminder to me that MY MAKER is THE one who knows how to truly be the munchkin, if you will, that fills every crevice and cranny so I’m free and unencumbered to experience the abundant life.

Even though it may be a silly analogy, I hope when you see or indulge in a donut, you truly contemplate the question, “Who is filling that void inside of you?”

Do you like donuts?  Me, too!  I mean, who doesn’t like donuts?  A chocolate cake donut from Dunkin or a mouth-watering glazed Krispy Kreme sounds pretty yummy right now.

Why am I writing about donuts?

Our church just concluded another Vacation Bible School.  How thankful we were to be HAVING VBS after not being able to last year due to the coronavirus.  But I digress.

One of the lessons I taught to 6^th-7^th graders was to pretend you are like a donut.  Yes, you read correctly.  God gave me this idea from a video series I watched with our son, Nathan, years ago when he was quite young.  The Donut Man talked to young kids about this very thing.  I just took his idea and capitalized on it.

I am asking you to pause and contemplate for a moment.  You, like the donut, have a hole inside of you.  Oh, you can’t see it.  If a surgeon opened you up for heart surgery, he couldn’t identify it.  But it’s there.  You know it is…deep inside.  It aches; it longs; it desires.

But we trying filling that hole with a lit bit of everything – material possessions for one or maybe just money.  Do you obsess over making money or constantly think about it?  Do you struggle to trust God with your finances or you’re never satisfied with what you have?  Or is it material things?  Are you constantly wanting more to “keep up with the Jones’, so to speak?

Think for a minute how fleeting all of it is.  I like to shop as much as the next girl…clothes, shoes, etc.  All of it is appealing.  For me, jewelry is a weakness.  Sometimes I just choose to stay out of the jewelry department so I’m not tempted to buy a necklace or a pair of earrings that I don’t really need.  Recently, we were out of town and in an area with a Brighton outlet.  Now, I love Brighton jewelry (made it Brighton, England).  I’ve told my hubby if we ever have the privilege of going to the actual place where the jewelry is made to watch out; I am not sure I would have much self-control.  This particular day I discovered the Brighton outlet, the store was having a very good sale on certain merchandise.  I purchased a pair of earrings; they were unique, unusual, stunning and I knew they would go with everything.  I have enjoyed those earrings.  I only paid $20 for them!!  Quite a steal, if you’re familiar with Brighton prices.  But, I realized a few hours later and especially the next day.  That purchase was somewhat empty.  Oh, don’t get me wrong.  I still like the earrings; I still get compliments on them.  But, I really didn’t need them.  They only brought me pleasure for a very brief time.

That’s the way most things in life that we try to fill ourselves up with are…true?  Think of your hobbies.  Gardening, exercising, playing music, sewing, fishing, hunting…whatever yours may be.  It’s all fleeting.

None of these things are wrong or bad.  But none will every truly fill us up.

There are folks we know – maybe even some reading this – that try to fill themselves up with drugs or alcohol.  It could be illegal drugs or prescription drugs.  Whatever the case, we know all of these are just temporary fixes.  Recently, Norman and I met a waitress at Waffle House that told us a little bit about her background.  A huge smile came across her face, and she beamed when she shared with us that she was 6 years sober.  I knew from her words and her countenance that it had been a struggle to get there.  But she was taking it one day at a time – and depending on the Lord as she chose every day to choose HIM over the drinking.  I tried to praise her and tell her how proud I was of her!  I only know from a family member just a taste of how difficult this particular struggle might be.

Maybe you don’t struggle to fill that void up with anything horrible like alcohol, drugs, violence or the like.  Yours could even be work.  The Lord tells us in the Bible it’s good to be disciplined and work and plan for the future.  But we can get it out of balance and become a work-aholic. 

It could be sports…playing a certain sport, watching a certain sport on TV.  Don’t you have that friend that he/she can only talk about sports and is totally obsessed with it, whether it be baseball, football, tennis or soccer?

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with these things.  We all need outlets.  We all need extracurricular activities and distractions that help us destress, relax and just enjoy life.

But, bottom line.  Think of it like this.  Before Norman and I were married and just engaged, we went through marriage counseling at my home church.  Dr. Charles Carter, the preacher that married us, didn’t do the counseling himself.  But the associate pastor, Ed Hoard, conducted the sessions to get us prepared to be husband and wife.  Neither of us knew what to expect.  We already knew Ed well and that helped us relax and be ourselves.  But I was stunned at our first session.  Just on a plain piece of paper, Ed had us individually think about our growing up years, our teenage years and our adult years (both of us were older singles when we married – Norman 33 years old and me 27 years old).  But our ages really didn’t matter.  Ed had each of us draw 3 buckets on our paper.  The first bucket we labeled “physical”, the 2^nd bucket we labeled “emotional”, and the last bucket we labeled “spiritual”.  He had us evaluate ourselves, as well as our parents and how our needs were met.  The first one was the easiest.  Were your primary needs met by your parents?  Were you protected by your parents?  Cared for, given food, clothes and necessities to meet physical needs?  Norman and I were blessed to both have that bucket completely filled.  We drew our lines up to the brim on that particular bucket.  But the other two were more tenable.  I won’t get into specifics.  But one of us was able to fill the emotional bucket up to the brim; the other one not as much.  As far as the spiritual bucket, it was the same.  One of us drew “our fill line” up to the brim; the other one was not as full.  Why would Ed have us do this exercise?

The same reason I’m asking you to think of yourself as a donut.  You are incomplete.  You have a void…a hole in the core of you, if you will.  Just like a donut can only be filled by just one certain munchkin, the one that was made specifically for it.  You and I are the same way.  God, through His Son, Jesus, is the ONLY ONE who can fill us up. 

As Ed’s wise exercise taught us, your spouse can’t fill you up.  Your spouse can’t make up for deficiencies with your parents or in your past.  If you look to your spouse to make up for those weaknesses, you will end up blaming him/her and resenting or blaming. It was one of THE best things I learned in marriage counseling…not to look to Norman to fill me up.

How about you?

Here’s a verse I shared with the kiddos.

Matthew 6:33 – “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.”

Filling that empty place with God first is the key, according to this verse.  For me, that means sacrificing time to get up early to be in the Word and to have time to pray and listen…not just praying on the go.  You know what I mean, right?

Being filled up with God/Jesus and the Holy Spirit happens when you first ask Jesus to come in and be your Savior.  But, in my opinion, from that point on, you must be intentional to stay connected.  I’m not saying you have to work at your salvation.  But you do have to work at your relationship.

Romans 12: 1-2 reminds us “Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…”  Conforming to the pattern of this world is fairly easy.  It’s a no brainer.  If I watch the same TV shows, listen to the same music or indulge in the same activities as the world, then I’m going to look the same, act the same and “fit in”.  But God tells me to “renew my mind”.  There’s only one way to do that…spending quality time with Him, through His Son, Jesus.  Time in the Bible, time talking to Him and time listening…so that over time my attitudes, my mindset, my mind and heart are slowly and gradually changed to be more like HIM and less like the world.

Even this morning, I was reminded that I can so look to others to fill me up.  I’m a pleaser by nature.  But ultimately, there’s only ONE I want and/or need to please.

How about you?  The next time you eat a donut, ask the Lord to help you be aware of who/what you’re looking to when it comes to filling you up.  Remember, HE is your Creator.  He knows how to fill you up and satisfy you better than anyone or anything else.  It’s time well spent getting “filled”.

Now, go eat a donut for me!!

It’s always seemed so weird and strange to me that men and women back in the Bible worshiped statues and gods like Baal.  How could they be so dense?  Even as a kid, I couldn’t wrap my brain around it.  Did these people really worship a statue and think something bronze or iron (crafted by man) had power?

But the older I’ve gotten, the more I realize how each of us struggles and has his/her own idols.  We might not label them as idols, but if we are honest, that’s exactly what they are as they create the same distraction or importance those little statues did back in Jesus’ day.

Facebook, Instagram, your Iphone or tablet – how much time do you spend on these?  I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with these devices or any of these social media outlets.  Just stop and examine…how much time do you spend on these?  In comparison to praying or reading the Word?  A little humbling when you think about it like that, huh?

It is for me.

What about watching television?  Maybe reading? 

Idols don’t have to necessarily be horrible vices in your life.

Even a spouse or your children can be an idol.

I can hear you now.  Laura, you’re going a little too far, aren’t you?  After all, Jesus wants us to sacrifice and care for our spouses, children, parents and grands, correct?  I agree.  But do you ever get that out of balance?

What’s the first and greatest command?  “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.”  This verse makes it clear that HE wants to have your total allegiance.

Do you put HIM first, above all else? 

What about sports?  Other hobbies?  Going to the lake, traveling, recreation in general?

Your reputation?  Your money?  Your job?

Once I consider all the endless possibilities for idols in my life, those little bronze statues or golden calves don’t seem so silly anymore.  The human race has been struggling with idols from the beginning of time! 

Have you ever stopped to examine or ask the Lord to point out if you have idols in your life that compete with Him being first place in your life?

Have you ever been trucking along in life, thinking that you have your act together spiritually – at least somewhat, and then BOOM!!  Out of the blue, something knocks the props out from under you.  Blindsided.

This scenario happened to me the other day.

A few days prior I was actually singing the old hymn, “Higher Ground”.  Just in case you’re not familiar with this tune, here are some of the words:

“I’m pressing on the upward way, new heights I’m gaining everyday

Still praying as I’m onward bound, ‘Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.

Lord, lift me up and let me stand, by faith on heaven’s table land,

A higher plane than I have found, Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.”

I was singing the words to this song, content in my spirit and feeling like I was close to the Lord and moving in the right direction.  Oh, that doesn’t imply I thought everything was perfect with me.  But you know what I mean…I had been consistent in spending time with the Lord; I felt like I was moving towards “higher ground” spiritually with Him; there were no major sins to confess; no one that I had knowingly wronged and no bitterness/anger/unforgiveness and the like.  The Lord and I had some intimate times together, and I felt like I was growing and content.  I had witnessed the Lord answer some major prayer requests…and move as only He could.

Then, out of nowhere it hit.

Here’s a vague and brief synopsis. I was serving the Lord “supposedly” in a certain area of ministry at church. I had prayed for some clear direction and a specific idea.  The Lord came through and gave me a creative idea, I thought.  An incredible idea!!  But then, someone poured cold water on it.  Someone took the wind out from under my sails, as it were.  At least for me, on this particular day and at this inopportune moment, everything came crashing down….my spiritual maturity, my good attitude, my contentment and peace, my excitement and zeal for serving and my whole disposition. 

In hindsight and even as I type, it seems so childish.  It was childish.  But in that brief moment, I wallowed in it.  I was frustrated; upset; casting blame; looking to the culprit or the person who didn’t share my enthusiasm vs. looking to what God wanted me to learn.

I responded “in the flesh” and didn’t seek “higher ground”.  I had nose dived and my selfishness and childishness were leading the way!

Don’t be reading this and saying you’ve never been there.  Friend, I KNOW you’ve been there.  It might not be the same exact set of circumstances, but I know you’ve experienced something similar.

Perhaps it was a situation with a family member where you KNOW you were in the right. You struggled to forgive, to get past it and move on.  Maybe it was a scenario at church in which you were offended…beyond offended, but hurt and misunderstood.  Or maybe it was something in the work place where a fellow employee undercut you or made you look bad to the boss.  I don’t know YOUR situation.  But God does.

What’s the point?  What do you do when your sinful nature raises its ugly head and challenges you — and you cave?  What do you do when you respond in the flesh vs. being Christlike?

I’m embarrassed to say, it took me a couple of hours to get my composure.  I had much on my plate and didn’t have time to deal with issues like this.  The enemy loves it when we are stressed out, busy and distracted…for it’s during those times when he knows exactly how to push our buttons and take advantage of our weaknesses. 

 I finally stopped and prayed.  I had to breathe and slow down.  I had to confess my bad attitude and at first, I had to “justify” to the Lord my side of things.  Come on, you’ve been there.  It’s almost like a kid crying to his parent and hearing in his voice how silly the entire thing sounds.

But once, I started talking to the Lord, my attitude began to change.  I began to see things more from His perspective.  I began to realize that I needed to take my hands off the situation (and the creative, incredible idea) and let Him be in control.  More than that, I needed Him to be in control of ME….my emotions, my thoughts, my attitude and especially my heart.  If I was going to serve and not just go through the motions, I would have to do deal with this issue NOW and let the Lord chip off every ugly, childish and immature piece of me.  It wasn’t easy.  I didn’t want Him to at first.  I wanted to stay in my state of unforgiveness and pouting. I wasn’t ready to be cleansed and run through the “car wash of righteousness” if you will.  I wanted to hang on to my rights and my “stuff” a little while longer.  I wasn’t ready to exchange them quite yet for the right/best thing

But I realized at this point, as I have numerous times before, I have a huge choice.

I can decide to succumb to my flesh and let those emotions and SELF control and dominate me.  I can justify what I’m feeling; I can justify holding a grudge or being upset or whatever the case may be. 

Or I can submit.  And let Jesus control me; no matter whose fault it is, no matter what the circumstances are, no matter how hurt or wounded I feel. 

I chose the latter, and as always, it made all the difference.  It took a little while.  But my peace returned. 

I want my heart to be like play dough, fresh play dough – moldable, pliable, soft and tender.

If I choose to hold on to the hurt, bitterness, childishness or even JUSTIFIED emotions in the flesh, it won’t take long until my heart becomes like a rock…or even a boulder.  I don’t want that!!  EVER.

Is SELF/FLESH on the throne of your life or JESUS?   

Here are some verses that helped me in this situation and/or have helped me in the past.

As always, I pray my being open about my own struggles helps at least one of you.  I can only trust that God, through the Holy Spirit, is using something I’ve written or shared to speak to YOU.

Psalm 66:18 – If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer.  Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!

Psalm 73:23-26  – Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.  You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.  Who have I in heaven but you?  And earth has nothing I desire besides you.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalm 51:10-12 – Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  Do no cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Psalm 55: 16-19  – But I call to God, and the Lord saves me.  Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.  He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me…

Psalm 51:16-17 – You do not delight in sacrifice or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart

Psalm 86: 5-13 – You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love, to all who call to you.  Hear my prayer, O Lord; listen to my cry for mercy.  In the day of my trouble I will call to you, for you will answer me.  Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord; no deeds can compare with yours!  All the nations you have made will come and worship before you, O Lord; they will bring glory to your name.  For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God.  Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.  I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever.  For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.

I John 4:7-20 I won’t type out this chapter, but I strongly encourage you to read it.  Read it again and pray, especially if you’re having trouble loving a brother or sister in Christ. Confess to God that you’re powerless to love in your own strength.  Ask HIM for help!!!

And finally, one of my faves….

I Peter 2:23 – 25 – When they hurled their insults at him (Jesus), he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats.  Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.  He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds, you have been healed.  For you were like sheep going astray, by now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. 

I’m praying for you, friend.  Praying you submit and don’t buy into the lies of the enemy who wants to “steal your joy and kill your relationship” with the ONE who bought you with a price!!  Nothing is worth holding on to in exchange for the abundant life God offers through Christ.  I love you.  God loves you more. 

Have you ever gone through a situation in life that stressed, taxed and took all the starch out of you?  Maybe it was a financial issue; perhaps it was a health issue for yourself or a loved one; maybe it was a chronic medical issue with your child or even a difficult spouse that was beyond obstinate and cooperative.

For me, in the last few years, it was not only caregiving but watching the life ebb out of both of my parents and pass from this life to the next.

We moved my parents out of their beautiful home they built and lived in for over 30 years in 2017.  It was a tough decision; neither my husband or I had to twist their arms.  Both knew it was time. 

While I was so grateful for that blessing, it still wasn’t easy.

We moved them, as well as my aunt (Dad’s remaining sister), to an independent living facility just a stone’s throw from their house.  It was a lovely place, and they already knew many from their church.

Barely a month and a half after getting them moved in and their new apartment all fixed up with fresh paint on the walls, shelves hung in the pantry, pictures on the wall and new furniture purchased, my dad, Henry, went into the hospital, with an exacerbation of congestive heart failure.  He had fluid build-up in his legs.  He lost strength. He lost muscle.  He lost energy.  My 6’ 4” Daddy who had always been bigger than life and could fix anything, lift anything, repair my car or make things better, was reduced to not being able to get up on his own and was weak.  It was excruciating to witness.

Mom and I played tag team.  I would go one day; she would go the next or both of us would eventually be at the hospital.  He was never alone.

When he was finally released from the hospital, I moved in with them for about 5-6 weeks.  It was truly my privilege to care for my dad and to help my mom with him.  Mom was already on a walker (an explanation for another time).  All that to say, Mom could not do everything that was needed for Dad.  She had enough issues of her own.  Because of her mobility issues and struggles with balance, she knew it was beyond her.  Mom was fiercely independent and had been a caregiver for her mother, as well as others.  For her to realize that she couldn’t care for her beloved Henry on her own was a tough reality.

There were things I did for my precious father during that time that surprise even me when I look back.  Helping him in the bathroom, helping him dress and just with personal hygiene issues became the “norm”.  The first time I was needed for this type of labor or love, Mom just broke down and said (in front of my dad), “Oh, Laura, I hate you’re having to do this.  You shouldn’t have to be doing this.”  But I had to talk to her afterwards and tell her, “Mom, it can’t be helped.  It is what it is.”  I knew it somewhat embarrassed my dad.  But at that point, he felt too poorly to care.  I had to gently talk to Mom and let her know that we needed to move beyond that and just face the reality.  She did.

I won’t say that doing for Dad in those circumstances was easy, but it was a privilege.  Even in those awkward and uncomfortable moments, I had the pleasure of serving and ministering to a man who had sacrificed and given to me all my life.  I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that was the highest calling and the primary calling in my life for that time.  There was a peace even in the midst of that difficult storm.

All my life, I had been close to my parents.  But this health crisis drew all of us closer to the Lord and each other. It drew my parents closer to one another.  Dad depended on Mom even more, and she tried to give him the energy and motivation to fight what was going on in his body.

It drew me closer to my hubby, Norman, as I vented to him and look to him for strength and solace.  But it also had a surprised affecting of drawing my parents closer to my hubby, Norman, as well.  Both of them depended on him even more and looked to him for help with decisions and really for strength and stability.

Most days, I walked outside the independent living facility just to get a change of scenery and see the outdoors.  In the evenings, I would walk on various floors.  I walked to keep the weight off, reduce stress and just for some light exercise. 

But most days or evenings as I walked, I also conversed with the Lord. This major change in my dad had me crying out to my Heavenly Father like never before.  I realized, like never before, that to get through this and have strength and be what I needed to physically, mentally and emotionally, it would all need to come from the Lord (I sure didn’t have it in me without Jesus). It was a time of refreshing and connecting that I looked forward to.  I poured my heart out to him for many specific needs regarding Dad.  But I also prayed for Mom to have strength, energy, be comforted as she watched the love of her life decline and struggle.  I prayed for her not to overdo in caring for him (that was totally her tendency – to sacrifice herself for the one she loved so).  I lifted my hubby, Norman, for continued patience and understanding during this health crisis.  For him to not resent Mom or Dad for taking me away. Norman had been so supportive, but we all have our limits.

God taught me so much during this season.  I learned to be more and more dependent on Him, and I learned to work and keep pressing forward even when it hurt to see my dad suffering, declining in health and unable to do for himself.  I learned to “press on” and do what was needed in the moment, even when my flesh felt like curling up in a ball and crying and giving up.

Weary, worn out, exhausted at various times – not knowing how or when this journey would end and not being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I applied something I had learned in two ministries I had been involved with for most of my life. 

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I love church and grew up loving the church and learning so much from wonderful preachers, pastors, peers and those who were seniors to me and had much wisdom.  I learned from watching them, being in ministry and serving beside them; I learned from listening as they all had wisdom.  But two ministries outside the church have greatly impacted my life.

One is Moms In Prayer (formerly Moms In Touch).  God literally plopped this ministry in my lap the year Nathan started kindergarten.  It’s a saga for another time, but suffice it to say that the principles in this ministry taught me to pray back scripture.  The format you use when praying is an outline that is based on The Lord’s Prayer. And because mothers and grandmothers are involved,  a format is needed  or we women would ramble and not stay focused when praying for our kids/grands.  Anyway, you begin with Praise, proceed to silent Confession, corporate Thanksgiving, Supplication for children (a Bible verse and then a specific request), then supplication for teachers, staff and the school and finally the ministry of MIP.  The most powerful section from this list, in my opinion, is Praise.  Before beginning MIP, I don’t know that I had ever truly PRAISED the Lord.  I had thanked Him for blessings, answers to prayer, ways I had witnessed Him work and move.  But PRAISE is different.  Praise is  focusing on God’s character and who HE is — not what He has done for you.  In the beginning, it wasn’t easy to separate the two.  But through the years, Praise became so important.  I couldn’t even have my own devotional time without beginning with this important and crucial aspect.  Also, I noticed a trend…when the ladies in my group and I saw MAJOR corporate answers to prayers for our children, it seemed to be directly tied to when our PRAISE time had been especially meaningful.  I’m in no way saying God only answers prayers when we praise Him and follow a certain formula.  All I mean is PRAISE took on special significance. 

Not only that, but MIP teaches you to focus in one attribute of God each week as you pray.  Furthermore, Bible Study Fellowship is an organization that has impacted my life as well.  It’s a non-denominational Bible study that teaches you how to study the Bible in a 4-pronged approach.  Truly, nothing has grown my understanding of the Bible more than this great method and wonderful organization.  Bible Study Fellowship taught me to PRAISE as well and focus in on attributes of God.

Why in the world do I digress and mention these two organizations now?

Because during this time, God reminded me at every turn to PRAISE Him, even when I didn’t feel like it.  Even when I was worn out and felt like I needed to pour my heart out about Dad and his needs or Mom and hers or Norman/me and our marriage, God whispered to me that HE was the source of my strength.  Offering Him a sacrifice of PRAISE helped me look up and get my eyes on HIM vs. just being down or distraught about the current circumstance.  Focusing on God being Sovereign; Meditating on God being My Refuge and Strength; Telling Him that He had been My Guide in the Past and would continue to be; Praising Him for being My Creator, Redeemer, Savior and Friend caused me to have hope and to put HIM first vs. the problems at hand.  It was truly healing, comforting and gave strength to my soul.  Were there days when I didn’t feel like it?  You bet!  That’s the moments when you plow through anyway and truly offer the sacrifice.

Why do I share this journey with you, friend?

Because whatever you’re going through – marriage struggles, parenting difficulties, a prodigal child, financial burdens, chronic health problems, letting go and sending your immature teen to college, depression, anxiety or whatever the case, it’s easy to focus on the issue at hand.  Anyone can do that.  A non-believer does that.  But as a disciple of Jesus Christ, we are called to die to self and exalt the ONLY ONE Worthy of Our Praise!! 

It should be no surprise that all of this truth is contained within the Bible, God’s Word. 

How many Psalms begin with the phrase, “Praise the Lord”?  I haven’t actually stopped to count, but they are numerous.

One of my favorites is Psalm 103 that begins, “Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.  Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits…”  When is the last time you stopped to PRAISE the Lord for WHO He is?  To really stop and meditate on HIM vs. how He has blessed you and what He has given you but to just focus on His character.

I won’t lie.  At first, it’s not easy.  But once you start, it feels right as you realize it does your heart, mind and spirit good to PRAISE.  He alone is the ONLY ONE truly WORTHY of our Praise!  Burdens become lighter when we Praise; problems still remain problems, but usually PRAISING helps put them in the proper perspective.  PRAISE creates intimacy between you and the Father.

Hebrews 13:15 states, “Through Jesus, therefore let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise.”  In the next entry on Praise, I will attach a list of attributes to help in this journey.  Until then, start your quiet time PRAISING the Lord.  Resist the urge to thank Him for even specific answers to prayer or even blessings.  Don’t ask Him for a thing until you have first gone before His throne of grace and stopped to contemplate who He is and why He is God.  It’s truly life changing!  Praying this suggestion helps even one person reading this.