“You deserve a break today.”  “You’re worth it!”  “Put yourself first!”

“Do something for YOU!”  All of these modern-day adages underscore how obsessed with are in the world with ME, Myself and I.  It’s all about taking care of #1.  In our society today, the message you hear from psychologists, counselors and even advertisers is, “You are the most important person.  You need to put yourself first and do things that make you happy.” 

          But does this work?  More than any other time in history, we have teens, adults and even children who suffer from low self-esteem, anxiety, depression and a host of other issues.  In no way am I trying to make “light” of any of these – or dismiss them.  I’m just saying if what psychologists and the world tells us is true, wouldn’t it be working by now?

          Contrast these modern messages with the words spoken about Jesus by Paul in the book of Philippians 2. 

“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others.  Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.  Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.  You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.  Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to.  Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being.  When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.  Philippians 2:3-11 NLT

From these verses and the entire New Testament, we see how Jesus implores us to think of others FIRST before ourselves, totally counter to what the world teaches.

As a school teacher and now a substitute teacher, I can tell you from experience that selfishness doesn’t have to be taught.  You know that.  You and I are both naturally selfish. Kids come out of the womb being selfish.  Left to ourselves, each of us cares most about ME.

But when Jesus comes in to a human being, it should change him/her…sometimes immediately but usually over time.  Spiritual growth is a process.  And with some personality types, it’s perhaps easier than others.  Bottom line…as a believer in Jesus, we have to allow the Holy Spirit to change our selfishness into selflessness.  It doesn’t just happen automatically.  It happens as we read the Word, as we hear the Word, as we allow the Holy Spirit to change us and apply what He’s teaching us.

I don’t know about you, but it’s mind boggling to wrap my brain around the kind of character and selflessness Jesus had in order to give up his life.  Even before He went to the cross, we see numerous examples in the Bible of how Jesus thought of others vs. himself.

One that pops into my mind is his encounter with the woman at the well in John 4.   We know that he purposely detoured from the road usually taken because the disciples questioned him.  No Jew WANTED to go through Samaria.  Jesus was tired and hungry.  But his physical needs and reputation were not near as important as this woman and her current condition.

His encounter with her begs the question.  When was the last time you were inconvenienced but still took the time to minister to someone?  This account sure steps on my toes and causes me to reflect on my own life.  Not only that, back in Jesus’ day most men didn’t speak to women.  But in this case, a Jewish man sure wouldn’t have wasted his time speaking to a Samaritan woman.  He didn’t put his nose in the air.  Jesus didn’t think to himself, “I need to rest.  I need some time to regroup.”  No, he took the time to think of this woman, this outcast and what she needed.  Even though he was physically drained and probably needed some downtime, he still not only interacted but poured himself into this needy woman. 

How about you?  Are you like me and sometimes run the other way because you don’t have time to minister right then?  Or you just don’t have the “energy” to reach out to someone who is needy?

I’m thankful I can read these accounts, and they paint the picture for each of us of what it looks like to live out a life that dies to self.

If you’re like me, it’s difficult to know how to actually live out that kind of unselfishness. It’s just one of many reasons why we need to listen and to rely on the Holy Spirit.

Do we even strive to live a selfless life?  Do we want to follow Jesus’ example?  Or do we buy into the world’s lies that putting ourself first on the throne will satisfy us like nothing else?

It’s difficult at times to find a balance between doing for others, thinking of others and putting yourself last.  The world certainly tells us to think of ourselves…it’s the only way to live and be happy.

Just rereading these verses in Philippians 2 and writing this blog article have made me stop and evaluate my own life.  You?

More thoughts on this topic tomorrow.  Thanks for tuning in.

I am still writing! Please don’t give up on me. There were issues on my site, and I couldn’t figure out how to post!! Ugh. Technology is not easy for me; I know some basics, but when there are problems, I usually don’t know what to do. My intelligent and computer savvy hubby helped me troubleshoot this afternoon so we’re back in business. Thanks for your patience!! I apologize.

I have articles ready to go and will post soon.

Thanks for hanging in there with me!

Love,

Laura

          Well, I’m sure some of you are not going to take kindly to this post.  I’m sure many of you will be upset with me.  I’m praying not.  But it’s what the Lord put on my heart so here goes…

 I thought Betty White was an incredible gifted actress…attractive, funny and talented.  I think it’s inspiring that she had a passion for animals and was known for rescuing and saving so many.  I read she supported more than 20 charities in her life and was a champion of civil rights, long before it was the culturally acceptable thing to do. In addition, she didn’t quit after her successes (as many in Hollywood have done) once she acquired fortune and fame.  She worked way into her 80’s…and was successful at it!  She has numerous Emmys, Golden Globes and awards to prove it.

          I grew up watching her on the popular game show, Password, where she apparently met her third husband, Allen Ludden. Allen is the man she called “the love of her life”.  I enjoyed watching her as Sue Ann Niven on The Mary Tyler Moore Show and never missed an episode.  And how could anyone not think she was a talented and incredible actress after watching her develop the character of Rose Nylund on The Golden Girls?  I don’t know of any other actress who could’ve developed the character of Rose like Betty White.  At least, most people I know think of Rose as Betty White…so naïve, innocent…and hilarious!  The chemistry between those 4 women on the show drew you in. 

          Norman and I used to be avid watchers of the show, tuning in regularly and getting many laughs from those women.  But if you’re a consistent reader of my blog, you know that God convicted Norman and me many years ago (around the same together) of watching The Golden Girls.  Even so, both of us are very much fans of these actresses.

          That’s correct, I’m a fan of their acting ability.  Were they funny?  Yes!  Were they gifted actresses, making their character believable?  You bet!  Did they each have a chemistry that drew you in and made you want to watch?  Of course!

          By the world’s standards, Betty White lived a terrific life!

          So, what’s the point of this article? 

          Some of you aren’t going to like what I say next.  Some may even take issue with what I write.  My goal is not to offend.  My goal is not to rub you the wrong way.  But my goal is to present truth.  Something lacking today in our society.

          I’ve just been stunned that so many Christians I know have made personal statements or posted remarks on Facebook such as: “I’m sure she’s celebrating in heaven,” or, “A life well-lived.”  I could understand these sentiments from the average Joe, but I can’t understand why a strong believer in Jesus would make them.

          As followers of Christ, we either believe what the Bible states or we don’t.

          In John 14:6, John declares that Jesus is “the way, the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through Him.” That statement alone is black and white.  It doesn’t leave room for any grey areas. 

          I’m not in the habit of disparaging the dead.  I’m certainly not standing in judgement.  But there is nothing in Betty White’s life that indicates she ever accepted Jesus as her Savior and followed him.

          According to my research, she belonged to a Unity Church.  If you look that up, the Unity Church believes in God as a positive being, but it’s a feel-good philosophy.  Nothing in their belief statements even mentions Jesus, salvation or the Bible.  In other words, it’s a New Age message.  It’s a group of people coming together to create their own truth.

          So that begs my next question.  Do some Christians believe, as the world does, that God looks to see if a person has lived a good life or not?  Or that God, the Ruler of the Universe, just weighs our good against our bad?  If the scale tips toward the correct side, then we’re granted passage into heaven? 

I believe there must be many who ascribe to this type of theology.  But it’s flawed.  Good people don’t go to heaven, and bad people don’t go to hell.  Nowhere does the Bible even mention or hint of this!  Just the opposite.  We don’t “work” our way to heaven.  More on this topic a little later.

          Throughout the Bible, the message is clear.  None of us is good because each of us is sinful. “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”  Romans 6:23. The only thing that can restore us and allow us to have a relationship with the One True God is accepting the free gift He offers through His Son, Jesus, that He so willingly gave up.  Believing that Jesus died on the cross for our own sins and accepting Him as our Savior is what reconciles us back to God. And not just believing that He died in our place.  But believing that God raised Jesus from the dead 3 days later.  The resurrection proves that Jesus defeated death, and that God is sovereign over death.  If I believe all of this and RECEIVE this free gift, then when I die, I will go to heaven, just as Jesus did.

          In fact, just recently, I was teaching a lesson about Abraham to children in Good News Club.  As I prepped and studied the scriptures for this, one thread was common.  God did not choose Abraham because he was good.  God chose Abraham because everyone around him was worshipping false gods.  Abraham was worshipping the One True God.  Was he perfect?  Of course not!  In fact, Abraham didn’t obey God when he first called him to go to a new land.  He stopped and only went part of the way.  The same thing was true of Jacob.  Remember he was the twin that was the “deceiver”.  He received a blessing from his father, Isaac, that wasn’t supposed to be his.  Even with his dishonesty and scheming, God still used him!! 

          These men are just two examples from a host of others in the Bible that prove my point.  God knows we are far from perfect.  That’s why we NEED a Savior.  Not just any Savior, but a perfect one.  Jesus is the ONLY ONE who satisfies.

          Once we accept this free gift of salvation through Jesus, we are compelled by the love of God the Father and WANT to work and do good deeds to point others to Jesus and spread His love.  But we don’t “work” and “do good deeds” to gain passage into heaven.  It’s just a byproduct of being a child of God who wants to serve and be obedient to His Master and Father.

          I’m just perplexed.  Why in the world would so many Christians on social media post the picture below or similar images of The Golden Girls in heaven? From the research I’ve done on each of these actresses, not a single one has anything in her past to point to the fact that they had accepted Jesus Christ as Savior.

          Only God knows for certain where these women reside eternally.  But either we believe what we claim to — and what’s in the Bible or we don’t.  I don’t believe these women are in heaven because they were gifted actresses or hilarious comedians.  I think most of us don’t want to think of the reality so we make up our own truth.

          Furthermore, I’m flabbergasted that people make comments about Betty’s long life.  I agree that she may have taken care of herself, eaten right or not smoked.  But in my estimation, GOD was gracious to her and gave her almost 100 years to find HIM.  Shouldn’t HE get the credit for being so merciful and patient?  I mean, none of us has much to do with how long we’re on this earth. 

          What bothers me about this entire subject is this.  If we, as Christians, don’t really believe the truth about salvation and heaven, then we will not have an urgency to talk to our loved ones and tell them about Jesus.  We will think that their home for eternity is just dependent on their good works here on earth. 

          How about you?  What do you believe?

          Years ago, when I was in my twenties, I took an Evangelism Training class at my church.  It taught you how to write and share your testimony of accepting Jesus; it taught you many Bible verses to memorize; but mainly, it taught you how to conversationally share your faith with anyone.  My mentors in this program were amazing! 

          But one of the most vivid things that stands out to me from this program was when we would make home visits to people who had visited our church and/or who had been out of church for a while.  The question posed by me or someone else might be something like this: “If you died tonight and went to heaven.  What would you say to God when He asked you, “Why should I let you into my heaven?”  Some people didn’t know how to respond.  But one man genuinely looked at me and said sincerely, “I’ve tried to be a good person.  I think my good outweighs my bad.  I think that should be enough.”  It was so sad as you could tell that’s what he truly believed!!

  But there’s one glitch in his statement.  How do you qualify what’s good?  In just one day, if I consider my “bad thoughts” and not just “bad deeds”, I could rack up a major number!!  Can I really perform and do enough good deeds to balance that out?  Who came up with this system?  Is it man’s attempts at justice?

          All of it is a ploy from the enemy!!  He wants to distract everyone from the truth.  That evening with that older man, one of my team members shared the plan of salvation with him. He accepted Jesus into his heart and life!  There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s in heaven!

          Another visit on a different evening, I spoke with an elderly man.  When I asked him that same question, he told me the following: “I would tell God that I’ve lived a good life and obeyed the Ten Commandments.”  He wasn’t aware of James 2:10 where Jesus said about if you break even one commandment, then you’re guilty of ALL of them. I don’t know about you, but just trying to live up to that standard is nearly impossible.  What a burden! 

          God, through His Son, Jesus, freed us from that burden!  None of us can accomplish being that “good” or “perfect”.

          Suffice it to say, I’m not trying to malign Betty White’s image, reputation or memory.  But neither will I sit back and “go along” with the false narrative being portrayed by some followers of Jesus that everyone goes to heaven just because they’re a nice person or have done some good in this world.

          It’s a sobering fact.  Good people do die and go to hell if they don’t have Jesus – and have refused to accept God’s free gift.  God gave Betty almost 100 years to accept, and apparently, she refused.  There is no evidence to support that she did.

          If you know me personally, you know I’m not confrontational.  I usually run from conflict.  I’m not trying to be confrontational here.  But I won’t sit back and allow a false narrative to be portrayed about an issue so central and so crucial to the Christian life.

          If you die without Jesus as your Savior, then you die and go to hell.  If you die confessing Jesus as your Savior and asking Him to forgive you of your sins, then He removes your sins as far as the east is from the west.  We only have to look at the thief on the cross to know this is accurate.  Jesus commended the man and said, “Today, you will be with me in paradise.”

Happy New Year!  It’s still hard to believe that 2022 has begun.  Where does the time go?

No, I haven’t dropped off the face of the earth and quit writing.  Just took a longer than normal break.

As I pause and think about “new beginnings” and what I want to keep in my routine/life, and how I want to operate differently at the start of a new year, I have goals in mind.

Yes, before you ask, I did write them down. Why?  To hold myself accountable.  Since I’m a teacher and used to writing behavioral objectives for a student or a class of students, I tried to make my goals “measurable” as well.

What do I mean by that?  In other words, my goals are not vague.  They are specific…ones that can be assessed or measured.

Some of my goals are physical – I want to lose weight.  But I broke it down.  For example, I want to be in a new set of numbers by the end of January.  I want to lose 10% of my body weight by a certain date.  I even built-in rewards.  Rewards may sound silly, but if they keep me on track, then they are worth it!  What’s an example of a reward?  Well, I bought some fingernail polish the other day…a color I’ve never worn.  When I lose my first 5 pounds, I’m treating myself to a manicure with that pretty new pinkish-mauve color!

I have behavioral goals in other areas as well.  To declutter my cabinets, drawers and closets in January and February would be just one of several desires for 2022. I have a list of specific areas in my home that I’m trying to target and sift through.  I started New Year’s Day cleaning out my spice rack/cabinet in the kitchen and my medicine cabinet in the bathroom.  Those two were small “baby steps”, but I started small so I could check them off my list and feel like I accomplished two major things on Day 1.

But out of all the changes I want to make as another year of life has begun, the most important goals I’ve set are spiritual.  Oh, I’m still working on these.  I have thought of memorizing scripture (I’m still working on a Psalm from last year!!); I’ve definitely wrestled with reading the Bible through in 2022; and I have specific people I’ve listed that I need to pray for and/or share the good news of Jesus.

But when I stop and truly contemplate spiritual goals, there is one that is at the top of my list.  For me, it is definitely THE most important.

Spending quality time in God’s Word and cultivating a deeper walk with the Lord.  This goal is at the top of my list.

The older I get, the more I realize that salvation is totally a FREE and unmerited gift from God.  God gave Jesus up.  He sent HIM with the sole purpose of living a holy and blameless life so His Son could go to the cross and take the punishment for each of us and our sins. Jesus’ resurrection means He has defeated death and one day all believes will live forever in heaven with God/Jesus.  But it also means that I can be reconciled back to God…not because I’m good.  But because Jesus now lives within me.  His Light lives within me. No longer do I have to live apart from God…I can enjoy a closeness with Him because of Jesus.

But once I accept this gift, then the ball is in my court.

After the decision to accept Jesus as my Savior, it is up to me if I just move on and act as if nothing changed — or if I decide that I want to know the God of the Universe through His Son, Jesus.  The heartbeat of my life should be desiring to know and spend time with God/Jesus daily.

I want to “meet the Lord” every morning, pray and read my Bible not out of a sense of duty…not because I’m instructed to do so (even though that’s such a valid reason), but I want to because I’m so compelled by His love.  I want to because HE pursued me; He first loved me; He gave His all for me.  How can I not spend time with HIM?

Now, that sounds great as I type it and write it.  But on days when I’ve stayed up late or I’m exhausted and have 10 million things to do or I’ve overslept or just have a bad attitude in the morning, it’s not that easy.

But here’s what I know.  If I don’t plan it in advance, I won’t even attempt to do it.

When our son, Nathan, was growing up, my husband and I used to try and “coach” him and tell him to decide beforehand what he would do in certain situations.  In other words, if a friend asked him to lie or to steal or to take drugs, what would be his response?  For him not to be blindsided but to know in advance how he would handle it.  Now, this method isn’t foolproof, but I think it does help.

And this strategy may be applied to our spiritual life.  I know I might not be perfect with having my quiet time with the Lord.  There will be those days.  But I can honestly say that the last two years of my life, I’ve made great strides in this area. I try to plan in advance…to get up early and sacrifice so I can have time to read the Word, pray and have time to “be still” and hear from the Lord.

I truly MISS it when I don’t have that time with the Lord. It affects my entire day. It’s not that I feel guilty or that I’m under conviction.  It’s just that I desire to spend time with my best friend, Jesus.  If I don’t, my outlook is different.  If I don’t, my attitude is different.  And it only takes a day…sometimes two before I’ve wandered.  That closeness can be gone or broken in such a short time.  I don’t want to live apart from HIM.  As my pastor says, I’m desperate for HIM!  Without that time spent praying and reading my Bible and intimacy with the Lord, I’m left to just me. And that’s not pretty, trying to live off the fumes of the past.

It’s not a coincidence that two of the names of Jesus in the Bible are “bread of life” and “living water”.  Just as our physical bodies need bread/food to nourish us and water to sustain us and make every cell in our body function at optimal levels, so our spiritual bodies need time with Jesus.  Truly, He is the only One who satisfies.

On days when I’ve grabbed a few minutes here – rushed through my prayers—read some verses, my soul suffers.  I feel the lack of nourishment. 

I don’t want to read my Bible, pray and listen to “check the box”. I don’t want to spend time with HIM out of obligation so I’ll be a “good Christian”.  I want to because I “love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength” (Matthew 22:37). I want it to be something my soul craves constantly, just as a deer panting for water (Psalm 42:1).

How about you, friend?  Will you be intentional about meeting the God of the Universe every morning or evening?

For me, it means sacrificing sleep.  Going to bed earlier so I can get up and have plenty of time to “sit and soak” – and not just rushing through my time with Him.  I need time to be quiet and listen to what the Holy Spirit wants to say to me.

I think of Jesus and his example from the scriptures.  So many instances, he was exhausted from being with crowds (teaching, healing, talking and ministering).  But he still rose early, “when it was dark” to spend time with God (i.e. Mark 1:35).  If Jesus, God’s Only Son, made this his practice when He walked the earth, how much more do I need it?

I don’t want to waste another year of my life on things that aren’t important. 

But let’s be honest.  Sometimes, it’s quite difficult to prioritize.  Other things…not just bad or trivial things, but good things get in the way.

I interrupt myself to bring you this update.  I first started writing this blog article the first week of January.  Even on January 2, I blew it.  It was a rainy, dreary Sunday morning.  I didn’t want to get out of bed.  I got up, but had no time for devotions before getting ready for Sunday School and church.  Since then, I’ve blown it other days.

On those days and after I’ve experienced failures, the devil whispers, “Just throw in the towel.  You’ll never be consistent.  It’s not worth it! You don’t really love God!”  But the older I get, the more I realize and am aware of the enemies’ tactics.  I literally say out loud, “Get behind me, devil. You’re not going to defeat me.  In the name of Jesus, I WILL grow in my walk with the Lord.”

How about you?

What are some of your goals for 2022?  Will spending time with Jesus be at the top of your list?

I’d love to hear your goals and thoughts.

As always, God put this idea on my heart to share with each of you!

Is there such a thing?  I don’t believe there is in God’s vocabulary.  But when you and I think of sin, I think we sometimes qualify them and measure them in our minds and spirit.  I know I do. I can easily rationalize in my mind and soul and sometimes think my sin is not so bad.

I’m not a murderer; I don’t do drugs; I’m not abusive. I’m not purposely trying to hurt anyone.  Even as a believer and follower of Jesus, I still commit “little sins”.

What messed up thinking!  The enemy wins when our thinking is along these lines.  We’re right where he wants us – taking our sin lightly and justifying it.

As the old adage goes, “sin is sin”.

The older I get, the more I realize that when God, through the still/small/quiet voice of the Holy Spirit, convicts me of something, I need to recognize it as SIN in my life.  And not discount it – and tell Him that it’s not so bad.

Have you been there?  Have you tried to argue with God?  To do it is one thing.  To admit that you’ve had that type of conversation with Him is almost humiliating and laughable.  But I’ll be the first to raise my hand and confess that I have. More times than I would like to admit.

Here’s just one example of a “little sin” that could’ve grown into a major problem in my life.

Years ago, when God first blessed us with a baby, there was no question about what I would do.  After aching and longing for a child, Norman and I prayed, and we planned.  I would give up my teaching career to stay at home full time.  It was a sacrifice for sure as I totally loved teaching – and knew God had called me to the profession.  But I also knew God called me to be a mom, and I was so thankful.  Some women balance being a mom and full-time job well; I knew I wasn’t one of them.

I loved every minute of being a stay-at-home mom.  Nathan and I literally bonded when he first came out of the womb (a story for another time). The first 3 months were tough as he had colic so they are somewhat a blur for Norman and me.  But after that, he was a happy and fun baby.  I took up oodles of time with him and was blessed to have my parents close so I was able to take Nathan to see them often or have them to our home.

But when Nathan was a toddler and still took naps, I got into the habit of watching a soap opera.  Growing up, I remember Mom and my grandmother that lived with us watched soap operas.  Looking back, I think I turned to this pastime out of finding a release and maybe even boredom…not wanting to do laundry or face other responsibilities.

But God convicted me of this habit. I remember it vividly.  I also remember arguing with Him about it.

The conversation went something like this:

Me (feeling a nudge and “word” from the Lord that I needed to turn the TV off): “It’s not so bad.  It’s one of the main things I do for me.  There’s no bad language.  It doesn’t affect me. Is there really any harm?  It’s not that big of a deal, is it?”

God: “Turn it off.  You’re not looking at this with the right attitude.  You’re asking the wrong questions.”

Looking back, I’m embarrassed that I argued with God…and argued more than once!! And I made such ridiculous arguments.

Me continued: “Watching those shows really doesn’t have any impact on me.  There’s nothing THAT bad in either one. I can handle it.”

Oh, friend.  Even back then, the enemy was having a field day with me!!  I was hearing from the Lord LOUD and CLEAR, but I was choosing to ignore and go my own way.  Red lights and the warning sirens were going off in my mind and heart, but I refused to heed God’s loving attempts to get my attention. 

But don’t each of us do this in various areas?  We rationalize our sin.  We think we know best…or at least we just WANT what we want.  We want our own way.  And we think we’re immune to the ploys of the enemy, and in this particular case, I thought I was above the influence of ungodly things going into my brain and heart.

At this point in my life, I was in my early thirties.  I had been a believer in Jesus and follower long enough to know that I needed to surrender my rights and listen to the promptings from the Holy Spirit.

I distinctly remember the struggle.  It was a tug of war going on in my spirit.

This area of my life was becoming a major stronghold.  At some point, I remember realizing that it wasn’t about the soap opera.  It was about my heart and obedience — or lack thereof.

I gave up watching one soap opera.  It was still an inner battle, but I did it.

But the other one was a different story.  The other soap opera was my favorite.  I loved each of the characters and actors.  I was pulled into the drama.  Have you been there?

I will admit that I didn’t give this one particular soap opera up cold turkey.  I’d quit for a week or so, and then start back up again.  Some days I would watch and be miserable!!!  Sounds ridiculous, right?  I’m embarrassed to admit it – and admit it to YOU on the printed page.

Now, I’m going to be brutally honest here.  When I finally decided to fully obey the Lord in this matter and quit watching altogether, was I happy?  NO.  Did I miss my program?  You bet!!!

I’m not going to play super Christian and tell you that I didn’t miss it and the time I spent in that “escape world”.

That’s the nature of sin…it’s a temporal fun where the enemy lures and tricks us into thinking we need what he offers.

But in just a week or two, I realized how my attitude about life, my perspective had changed …and how freed up I felt.  There’s no better feeling on the planet than knowing you are being obedient to the Lord and able to have intimate fellowship with Him.

That one sin (I’m sure there were others) became such a hindrance to my spiritual growth.  When God felt distant, I didn’t blame Him.  I knew the reason why.

Why am I sharing this tidbit from my past?  Why would I embarrass myself and share the nitty, gritty details?

Because friend, God put this on my heart.

Someone reading my feeble attempt at a blog is struggling.

We all have those “secret sins” that plague us.  The enemy knows our weakness.  And many times, he uses these to be a stumbling block to our spiritual growth and/or our walk with the Lord.

What’s yours?

I remember reading an article just a few years ago about some church women who secretly struggled with drinking…during the day when hubbies were at work and kids at school.  They just couldn’t cope.  Some drank because of the “secrecy” of it; some to fill a void; some because they liked the taste of wine, beer or other types of alcohol.  Some of them continued with this pattern until they became addicted.  Others just struggled with the guilt. In other cases, the drinking eventually affected marriages and family life.

All I know from experience is if we let this so called “little sins” erupt and don’t deal with them, then I do think they turn into something bigger. It’s the snowball effect…you know.  It begins as a tiny snowball rolling down the hill of your life, but it picks up more snow and more momentum as it rolls down the hill.  So destructive!

 A verse in the Bible totally addresses this….

James 1:14-15 states the following:  ¹⁴ but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. ¹⁵ Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

As a follower of Christ, if we keep sinning, even after the Holy Spirit prompts us time and time again, I do think we experience major consequences.  That’s been true in my own life.  And I believe it’s true as a biblical principle.

In verse 15, when James speaks of “sin becoming full-grown and giving birth to death” I think can mean that it leads to the death of our own spirit.  Our hearts become hardened to the Holy Spirit’s leading and prompting. Our heart, that was once tender and moldable to a Holy God, becomes hardened little by little over time, if we allow it by knowingly letting sin creep in and not listening to the Holy Spirit. 

There’s no doubt in my mind that I was on that path re watching that one last soap opera.  You see, the point wasn’t whether or not it was affecting me to put those thoughts and that drama into my head/heart, but it just boiled down to sheer obedience.  Was I willing to hear from God and act on it?  And give up “my rights” even about something “little” in my life?

Reflecting back, I don’t know how much at that age I prayed and asked God to give me the strength to turn off either soap opera.  I tried to rely on myself vs. the power God had placed in me through His Son Jesus.  I had the power that raised Jesus from the dead living in me, and I didn’t tap into it!  I should’ve been crying out to Him for help.  If I did pray and ask for His help, I don’t think I did it enough.

Here’s another example that I’ll relay involving my husband and me.  Ironically, it involves a television program again.

Several years ago, Norman and I gotten into the habit of watching a particular TV show.  We didn’t watch it that often, but both of us, at the same time, felt convicted NOT to watch the show.  I’m sure you’re familiar with it.  It’s “The Golden Girls”.  We rationalized to each other that it was funny; it helped us relax; we loved the actresses, etc.  But we also discussed that it could have language and there were sexual innuendoes and other inappropriate material in the show. In addition, we didn’t think it was a “coincidence” that both of us, at the same time, felt that conviction from the Holy Spirit.

I’m embarrassed to say, we both struggled with the matter for a few days.  It helped that we had one another…and both of us at our core wanted to be obedient to the Holy Spirit’s leading. 

After just a few days, we turned it off and never watched another episode.  It was freeing!!  Nothing like the struggle I had years before with that one particular soap opera.

Hopefully, I had gained some spiritual maturity from the time I was a young mom.  But no matter how mature we become spiritually, the enemy still knows how to push our buttons.

I won’t lie.  Just a few short years after us turning off “The Golden Girls”, Norman and I would be super tired and just surfing channels…usually on a weekend night when we knew we didn’t have to get up for work the next morning.  On occasion, and just every now and then, we were sometimes tempted to pause on “The Golden Girls”. It only happened a few times.  But I can honestly say we’ve never watched another episode.

I’m convinced if we had, nothing good would’ve come from it.

I don’t think God would’ve zapped us with lightning or frogs would invade our house.  But who knows?  Would arguments have ensued?  Would some other consequences have come from it?  I definitely believe so!!

I’m not pointing the judgmental finger at you if you tune into this show.  That’s not my point.  What you put into your mind/heart is between you and God.

Neither is it my point to “call you out” if you watch soap operas.  That’s between you and the Lord.

God convicted Norman and me so we needed to respond to the Holy Spirit’s leading in this particular area.

I take the Lord at His Word.  These verses in James offer a stern warning.  Plus, I know from my own experiences in high school, college and as a young adult, even when you walk with the Lord and desire to please Him, it’s so easy and TEMPTING to take a baby step, and then another baby step and soon be way off the right path. 

Our pastor constantly illustrates this gradual moving away from the Lord, one step at a time.  As he says, the minute you step off and realize it, take action immediately and get back on the right path.  Otherwise, you will end up in the far country (like the prodigal son) and wonder how you got so removed from the Lord.

His reminder of this truth totally underscores my point here.  Ignoring the Lord’s promptings doesn’t seem like that much of a big deal.  But it truly is a HUGE deal if your desire is to live a life controlled by God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit vs a life controlled by your sinful self.  I desire to do the first one!  It’s so worth it!

I don’t want to fit into the world’s mold. This verse tells me I shouldn’t.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

#1 I want to be able to discern and know what the Lord’s will is for me.  This verse makes it clear that if I follow the pattern of the world, then His will won’t be evident to me.

#2 I want to experience the “abundant life” that Jesus speaks of in John 10:10. “The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy, but I (Jesus) have come that you may have life abundant (or full)”. 

I don’t want to wait until I get to heaven to enjoy abundant life.  I want to experience it with and through my Creator God here on earth.

There have been numerous times when I have to go back to the Word and be reminded of what Jesus taught about sin.  And that He set the standard.  I don’t need to look to the left or to the right…and compare myself to my best friend, co-worker or buddy at church to see how I measure up.   And certainly not to myself.

Two standouts for me on this subject are both found in James, such a practical book of the Bible.

James 4:17 NIV (I could’ve picked any version as ALL are extremely clear on this subject): “If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”

This verse in James reminds me of a child who knows exactly what she/he is supposed to do but decides not to follow through and be obedient.  He/she just proceeds despite knowing the consequences that will ensue.  The child doesn’t even pause to think of the consequences (I know that’s not stated…as a mom and school teacher, I’m just presuming that!)  How foolish!!  We expect children to be foolish. They’re still learning and growing. But as adults, you would think we would learn.

Here are some examples that come to mind in my own life:

When I worry and don’t give it over to the Lord and keep thinking, obsessing and fretting about something, that is sin.  I need to pray and leave the matter at the feet of King Jesus.

When I keep eating chips and hear a quiet “stop” at 10, and I keep going until I eat 30 or 40, that is the sin of gluttony.

When I respond to someone who has hurt me with harsh words or lash out (knowing that it should be a “gentle answer” instead), that’s sin.

When I know I should call that widow from church that the Lord keeps putting on my heart and don’t take the time to do it, that is sin!  When I don’t follow through on contacting that shut-in that the Lord’s brought to my mind numerous times, that is sin! 

You may be saying, Laura, what’s the big deal?  You may be overstating it! 

Our world has made sin NOT a big deal.  Our world is so loose with sin that we have politically correct terms for many sins. If someone cheats on a spouse, it’s no longer called adultery; it’s just “freedom in a relationship” or a “casual affair”.  When a man loves a man, “love is love” is much easier to swallow than “sodomy”.  It’s no longer a “lie”, but a “little white lie” or “fib”.  When I was a kid or teenager, having sex before marriage was considered a HUGE deal and definitely living together was frowned upon.  Now, you’re thought of as a prude if you haven’t been intimate with someone by age 25!!  And it is commonplace for even a supposedly Christian couple to live together before walking the aisle. Needless to say, God and His Word haven’t changed the standard just because society seemingly has no issues with it. Even the word “sin” isn’t spoken much anymore outside of church circles.  It’s just not politically correct!!

My preacher growing up, Dr. Charles Carter, was an incredible messenger from the Lord.  He could unpack even the driest of Bible verses and make them applicable to your everyday life.  I was blessed to be under his preaching as a young girl, teenager, college student and single adult.  God used so many of his sermons to grow me closer to the Lord.  He had a way of using illustrations to make his point; years later, many of those illustrations have stuck with me.  One illustration he referred to many times regarding known sin was just washing dishes.  The first few times you may pull your hands back quickly as the water is so scalding hot, but after a while your hands become accustomed to the heat. If we don’t listen to the Holy Spirit and heed his warnings and take our sin seriously, the same can happen to each of us.  The Lord has brought this to mind numerous times as I was washing dishes…or doing something in my life that I knew was wrong!!

But our standard should not be the world or those around us.  Our standard was set by God, and it was lived out by Jesus when He walked on the earth.  Our standard should be a word we don’t hear used much even in church — holiness.  Not so that we become “holier than thou” and look down on others.  But so that others see Jesus in us.  God wants us to strive to be “holy as He is holy” and “not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds” (Romans 12:1-2). 

Our holiness should not be a thing we take pride in or laud over others and look down our noses.  But it should be thought of as another way of shining the light of Jesus in a dark and perverse world that’s looking for answers and hope.  Pointing people to God should be our goal!

This Bible verses in I Peter 1 describes well what our goal should be related to holiness:

¹³ Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. ¹⁴ As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. ¹⁵ But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; ¹⁶ for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”^[a]

Of course, we can’t be holy in our own power.  We have to rely on Jesus.  But we sure can’t even attempt holiness if we are not being “obedient children, alert and fully sober.  I don’t think that part of the verse means just not to be drunk.  I think it means to face life with your eyes and mind wide open to the deeds of darkness and the sins that trip us up.

How we view our sin makes a huge difference in whether or not we do something about it.  Do we justify it and brush it off as “no big deal” because the world says so?

I know this post is so long already.  Thank you for hanging in there and reading it.  But God just brought this story to mind.  I’m going to change a few of the details so I don’t divulge if any of you know the actual people.

A precious gal I know married her childhood sweetheart.  They seemed made for one another and had similar backgrounds.  Both were believers in Jesus, and their families were Christians as well.  Everyone was thrilled with their union!  But a short time into the marriage, she realized he had a separate P.O. box.  Soon, she learned that this “secret” mail station was intentional as he received pornographic material on a regular basis. When she confronted him about this “secret sin”, he was defensive.  He refused to give it up.  Somehow, she managed to convince him to attend marriage counseling with their pastor.  Needless to say, this issue of pornography came up, as well as his deceiving her, and the lack of trust the entire scenario created.  Still, again, this young man, refused to give up this sin of addiction!  I’m sure his parents tried to intervene as well.  Suffice it to say, this one sin broke up their marriage.  And the pastor told her she was justified to leave him over this issue (I couldn’t agree more with the pastor, but that’s not my point.  Please stay with me, even if you don’t agree).  This young man dug his heels in and refused to listen to a litany of people… godly counsel from a pastor, his family and people in authority over him who wanted the best for him, his fairly new wonderful wife who loved him dearly – – and especially the Lord.  God tried to get his attention in numerous ways.  I think God started out being merciful and patient, but when this young man didn’t heed warnings, God turned up the heat.  I’m so saddened to say this man had a horrific accident and ended up being a paraplegic!!  In my opinion, he could’ve avoided this huge consequence by being obedient.  But doing life his way was more important.  He was bent on rebellion.  In my opinion, God only gave him the consequences he earned.  Do you agree?

One last verse, and I close.  I don’t have this one memorized, but the older I get the more the Holy Spirit brings it to mind.  It’s become a favorite.

Hebrews 12:1

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Holding on to my sin of watching soap operas was definitely entangling me!  It was as if I was trying to run down the street and catch up with the Lord (while He is far ahead), but I have cords wrapped around my feet, legs, arms and face.  Can you imagine a runner trying to compete in a race with all that tripping him up or impeding his pace?  That’s what we do, friend, when we try to run this Christian life with known sins in our life.  We become immobile.  We’re just spinning our wheels, becoming more and more frustrated…not to mention, not gaining any ground.

Cut the cords of disobedience today!

I’ve struggled more with this post to get my thoughts down.  I think the main reason is that I feel the urgency from the Lord that someone is struggling with sin.  Perhaps many of you.

Face it today…call it out for what it is…cut it out of your life through the power of the Holy Spirit, and be free.  Running and making ground in the Christian race of life is exciting when you can make an impact (through the power of the Holy Spirit) and bring glory to God!!!  I pray you will decide to submit to Him and reach for the “abundant life” today! 

If you still aren’t sure, read the quote below and think if it isn’t true from your own life and experiences.  It sure is in mine.

Written with love and prayers…

“Sin will take you farther than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay. ”

Some of you probably wonder if I just quit writing and gave up my blog.  Definitely not. My hubby and I just returned from a 10-day trip to Greece!  To say it was incredible would be a huge understatement.

The first island of Santorini was definitely our favorite.  Our hotel was literally built into the side of a mountain where a volcano erupted.  It juts out into the middle of the Aegean Sea.  Just seeing the sparkling crystal clear blue water, the layers of sediment in the volcanic rock, and just the beauty of sunrises and sunsets reminded me of how amazing and creative our God truly is.

But even more than that, while we were on two Greek islands and in the city of Athens, we saw and passed numerous people. I love to people watch! At one outdoor restaurant in Athens, I counted 11 languages on the menu!  I truly believe we heard at least 7-8 different dialects and languages while we were there.  Who knew that Greece was the honeymoon capital?  Apparently, it is a popular location for many honeymooners in Europe, but the US as well.  On the polar opposite of that, we took this trip to celebrate our 30-year anniversary (it was last year…just a little delay due to Covid).

But in seeing so many distinct nationalities and people, hearing so many different languages and seeing such beauty on the other side of the world, it made me stop and realize how big the world truly is, but even more so, how Big our God is. 

As we sat outside to eat or just gazed at people as we were walking/looking in shops, I was struck by how many different countries were represented.  We all looked so different, but yet we were so similar.  We talked to so many native Greeks, as well as Americans and people from France, Australia, England, Switzerland and Germany…to name a few.

I felt so small and insignificant.

I remember walking a busy street one day in the “Old Town” of Fira, lined with crowds.  Thoughts raced in my head…and questions were raised to God as we walked and observed.

How could God keep up with this many people? 

How does He hear my prayers?  The prayers of these people I’m passing?

How could I matter to anyone?  Wasn’t I just a number?

But at the same moment that I felt small, insignificant and just a speck on this massive planet,

I also felt important, special and loved.

Even with all the people we saw, even among the thousands, I truly believe God knows my name.  I know He knows how many hairs are on my head. Or how many I’m losing at this stage of life!  Ugh.

When I remember that I’m a child of His, I am drawn to Him even more….and humbled to personally know the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  Even with the world being so huge and so full of people, somehow God knows ME…little ole ME.  But friend, He knows you as well if you have accepted His Son, Jesus, as your Savior into your heart and life.

I believe He pursues every person who has ever lived, whether they were as blessed as me to grow up in the USA with loving parents or whether they were in some remote village that hardly heard the name of Jesus.  God, in His Sovereignty and in His Omniscience figures all that out. I trust that and believe it.

Two verses I leave you with today that underscore my thoughts:

James 4:14 NIV – Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.  What is your life?  You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

Psalm 103:15 NLT – Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die.

Psalm 139 NIV – O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.  You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.  You hem me in – behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.  Where can I go from your Spirit?  Where can I flee from your presence?  If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there….

verse 13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Isaiah 43: 1-3 NIV But now, this is what the Lord says – he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.’

I hope these verses remind you that our life here on this earth is fleeting and truly a vapor.  We are specks in a microcosm of millions of specks who may look different and talk differently, but yet on some level, we are all the same.  We all have the need to be loved; we all have the need to feel apart; we all have the need to be significant to someone and for our life to matter and count.

Only by belonging to God, through His Son, Jesus, is this truth made possible.

These verses came to mind when I was in Greece, feeling insignificant, but also loved and special all at the same time!!  Oh, what an incredible blessing!  Just the Lord bringing all this to my feeble mind made me relish our trip to the other side of the world even more.

Wherever you are today and whatever you’re doing, remember YOU are important to God.  He knows you by name.  You are loved!  Make your life count for Him! 

There have been moments and days in my life when God’s presence is so real.  I’ve experienced countless times when I hear Him speak, just as if He is right beside me in the car or in a room. There are so many specific instances when He’s directed me, and I have known the path to take because He spoke and/or made it obvious.  I have chronicled these events in my life so that I never forget His faithfulness.  More importantly, I want future generations to read these accounts and know that God spoke; He provided guidance and was an active, alive and faithful God!

 I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jesus lives inside of me.  His Holy Spirit came in when I was saved – and I felt that same Holy Spirit wash me and cleanse me when I was baptized (definitely a story for another time).  After that incredible experience as a young girl, God has made Himself known and answered so many prayers.  Each of these encounters points to the faithfulness of our Sovereign God.  It also underscores the fact that He is real and personable.

But there are times in my life when God has been silent.  Times when I’ve prayed, but yet He seems like a distant God vs. a personal one who knows me by name.

How about you?  Have you experienced that as well, my friend?

From other believers I’ve spoken to (not like I’ve taken a survey or anything scientific), I think this is normal, and yet…there may be some reasons why God is silent.

First, let’s examine some things before we BLAME God for His silence.  It’s always easier to blame Him vs. looking at ourselves.

Is there any unconfessed sin in your life?  Maybe it’s something you’ve buried and haven’t wanted to face.  Perhaps it’s a sin that you never confessed from something way back. You tried to bury it because you were ashamed.

Maybe it’s a sin of omission, not commission.  What I mean by that is perhaps God asked you to do something. He called you to do something, and you haven’t been obedient.  You’ve omitted it from your agenda, in other words.  You’ve continued on in life as if you didn’t hear Him speak to you.  You’ve somewhat ignored His promptings. Perhaps the Holy Spirit directed you to apologize – and you ignored it. Or He asked you to forgive who ever wronged you.  Maybe He called you to teach Sunday School; maybe He called you to serve in your church or another organization in a certain ministry; or it could’ve been witnessing to a friend about Jesus; maybe it was something as simple as providing a meal for someone sick – or forgiving one who hurt you deeply (yes, I mentioned this one twice as I think tons of us struggle with forgiveness).  Or staying in your marriage when you’re fed up!  God reminds us in His Word that he will not hear us when we have unconfessed sin in our heart and life. Isaiah 59:2 tells us this.  “The Message” version of this verse states this principle in such a way that I had to share it.  “There’s nothing wrong with God; the wrong is in you.  Your wrongheaded lives caused the split between you and God.  Your sins got between you so that he doesn’t hear.” 

Wow!  This verse hit me between the eyes.  The wrong is in YOU.  It doesn’t get much plainer than that.

I’ve certainly experienced that myself.  If you want intimacy with the Lord, confess ALL of your sins and get right with Him.

Another reason why God might be silent is that you’ve neglected your time with Him.  You go to church, you try to be a good person and a God-fearing believer, but when it boils right down to it, you really don’t spend much time with the God of the Universe who sent His Son to save you.  You hear a sermon on Sunday, you may even sing in the choir or serve in the church.  You give money to your church and other great ministries.  But you just don’t take time EACH DAY to pray and hear from the Lord by reading the Bible.  Sound familiar? 

If that’s the case, is there any wonder why God seems far off – and removed from your life?  If you have a dear and close friend who you never talk to, make an effort to see or spend time with – or even know what’s going on in his/her life, then it just stands to reason that the two of you will grow apart.

It’s not that the relationship can’t be fixed or healed. But the ball is in your court!  As the old adage goes, God hasn’t moved.

He’s been there waiting the entire time…waiting in the living room, if you will, for you to sacrifice some time and spend it with Him.  He wants UNINTERRUPTED time with you, His child, spent focused on Him…focused on who HE is.  You and I can only do that when we open the Word and are intentional to praise Him, thank Him and pour out our hearts to him.  The entire process takes commitment, time, sacrifice, energy and focus.

The first two reasons (unconfessed sin and neglecting time in the Word/in prayer) are logical and make total sense why the Lord may be distant or silent.  The Bible tells us to expect distance if we have sin in our life or we are neglecting time with the Lord.

But what if you strive to be consistent in having a “quiet time” and making time with the Lord a priority?  I mean, you read the Bible, you pray – and not just to check the box – but really pray with all your heart and “cry out” to the Lord and desire to commune with Him, but you still feel somewhat removed and like the Lord is out there somewhere, but for whatever reason, His voice is difficult to discern.  He is quiet.

You’ve been still.  You’ve waited.  But. Nothing.  What do you do then?

In my limited life experiences, I believe this scenario is totally normal – and happens to each of us. Let’s look at the Word to see if that’s true.  In the Psalms, David, the shepherd boy who grew to be God’s chosen King over Israel but even more importantly, the One who God called “the man after my own heart”, finds himself in this scenario.  Even David cries out to God throughout the Psalms and sometimes asks God the tough questions (It’s one of many reasons I love the Psalms)!  In Psalm 13, for example, David addresses the Lord and is bold in the first few verses when he prays…

          How long, Lord?  Will you forget me forever?

          How long will you hide your face form me?

          How long must I wrestle with my thoughts?

                    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?

King David, who communed with God so intimately, found that the God of the Universe – His God and Yaweh was silent at times…and distant. Obviously, he is distraught, needing God’s comfort, encouragement…just a word from the Lord!!

So, what did David do when God didn’t get back to him immediately? When God didn’t reply to David’s accusations, did David pack up and decide to quit praying?  Did he give up on God, his faith and praying?

David’s response to God’s distance or silence is contained within that same Psalms.  David returns to what He knows.  And what He knows best is the character and nature of the One True Jehovah God.  David knows that His God is loving, true, good through and through with no hint of sin. He knows His God is a friend, a confidant…and he draws strength from this relationship (remember Goliath?).  David knows he is nothing without this God of the Universe.  David knows He is a faithful God!

In verses 5-6 of Psalm 13, David abruptly changes his tune from one crying out and being accusatory to God (due to his lack of reply) to a servant who is submissive and trusts.

Verses 5-6: “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.  I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.”

What a contrast!

I don’t know about you, but I’d be embarrassed to admit the number of times I’ve whined and complained and even BLAMED God vs. having a servant’s heart and surrendered attitude of humility.

In Isaiah 55:9 the prophet reminds us, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord”.

The Lord, the Creator and Sovereign King of the Universe, thinks differently, acts differently and is infinite. Our way of thinking is so finite; we think in terms of days, months, moments.  And most of us want an instantaneous or “quick fix”. God thinks long term.  His ways we will never comprehend.

Bottom line…
 Basically, when you pray and seek the Lord, and He is silent or distant, you just keep doing what you know is right.  That’s when your faith must kick in, and you trust in the character of Almighty God who has never failed you. You keep believing that the God of the Universe loves you and WANTS a relationship with you. And even though the relationship might seem one-sided, you keep persevering in prayer; you keep reading scripture; you keep crying out to God, believing and knowing that He loves you and hears you.  Why?  Because that’s what faith does.  In God’s love letter to us, the Bible, God tell us to “always pray and not lose heart” (Luke 18:1).  In Ephesians, Paul exhorts us, “Pray at all times in the spirit, with all prayer and supplication.  To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints.” (Ephesians 6:18). 

Never are we promised a resounding answer – a profound word from Him.

In the Old Testament, people went for years without hearing from the Lord. Just like the Israelites, we think we are so entitled.  We think God should “drop everything” and turn His attention solely to us.

All of it is somewhat of a mystery.  All I know is there have been times in my life when I’ve been trying my best to be in the Word, praying and seeking the Lord when I didn’t totally hear from Him.  And then, out of the blue, the answer comes. His voice is so clear and discernable.  It’s just a matter of waiting…listening…being that “watchmen on the wall” that is spoken of repeatedly in the Psalms.  When He does speak, when He does come through, it’s totally worth the waiting!!!

This side of heaven, I’m not sure if we will ever truly know WHY God is sometimes quiet or silent. But I do trust that He is growing me and my faith in the process. And there is a greater, divine purpose – even if I don’t know it or comprehend it.

Sometimes I wonder if He’s really that silent or we just have too much “noise” in our life – too many distractions.  That’s a topic for another time.

In the meantime, keep persevering in prayer!!  Don’t give up!  Remember, the Christian life is not a sprint…it’s a marathon.  Finish well!

And then I think of my next example…a personal one.

My dad, Henry, was a quiet man; he was one of few words.  And when he spoke, he chose his words carefully.

Years ago a family member did something that was a slap in the face to my dad. The family member knew it!  She didn’t own up to it.  It angered me!  It was one of Dad’s sister’s.  I loved her, but at that moment, I resented her.  I was angry with her for being selfish and not realizing how her actions would affect my parents…and especially my dad, her brother.  My parents had bent over backwards to help her in practical and emotional ways.  What she did communicated utter disrespect and lack of appreciation.  There was no question about that.  Again, she was in the wrong.

I distinctly remember being in the driveway of my parents’ home.  I turned to my father and firmly declared, “Dad, this makes me so angry.  You know Aunt ___ is in the wrong!  Why don’t you confront her?  Why don’t you say something?  She will keep doing things like this if you don’t say something!”  Only one other time in my adult life had I ever spoke so passionately and forcefully to my dad.  I was compliant and respectful my entire life; my dad commanded respect.  I didn’t say any of this to him disrespectfully.  I was just frustrated…and angry with her!  I KNEW she was in the wrong.  I was hurt for both of my parents but especially dad as it was his baby sister.

Dad, who was a man of few words, turned to me and with kind and compassionate eyes, he said, “Puddie (his loving nickname for me), how many times?”  I shockingly replied, “What?  What do you mean?”  He again repeated, “How many times does He say to turn the other cheek?”  I said, “Daaaaad”.  He just looked at me.  That’s all it took.  His reminder of the verse in the Bible where Jesus tells his followers to turn the other cheek 70 x 7 is what Dad was referring to (Matthew 18:21-22). And in that moment, I melted. The look on his face spoke volumes. Those kind, compassionate and loving eyes of his pierced my heart and soul. More importantly, his reminder of Jesus’ words convinced me to drop the matter.  Dad didn’t have to say any more.  In those aged eyes that were full of godliness and wisdom, it was like he was burned a hole through me to say, “Release the anger.  Let go of the frustration and resentment, Laura.  Forgive as your Heavenly Father has forgiven YOU!”

I drove home thinking about my father’s example…and praying.  Praying that God would give me the strength to forgive my aunt for her selfishness and how it had impacted my parents.

I eventually did.  But the impact of my father’s words will stay with me forever.  His calm demeanor; his kind and loving eyes; how he spoke the words of His Savior, Jesus, to remind me of HIS forgiveness — and how he had no malice, bitterness or resentment.

This encounter happened years ago; so long ago in fact that I can’t even recall all the details of the offense. Both of my parents and this aunt are now in heaven.  What a blessing and comfort to know that!  But my “take away” from that day in my parents’ driveway was how the love and forgiveness in my dad’s heart was conveyed to me – and lived out in front of me!!  I wouldn’t trade that memory and life experience for a million bucks!

There are many traits, both physical and emotional, that I get from my wonderful dad…my brown eyes, my slowness, my thoroughness, my sense of justice and many other traits.  But if there’s one characteristic that I pray I follow in my dad’s shoes, it is his ability to forgive. 

Dad didn’t lecture on forgiveness.  He didn’t have me write a zillion Bible verses on forgiveness.  He didn’t even tell me stories on forgiveness.  But what he did on many occasions was to emulate forgiveness.  He was the epitome of it. 

I can recall many other examples, just like this one, where Dad would have been justified.  He had every RIGHT to hold a grudge or be unforgiving.

I wasn’t really aware of all the details with this situation.  But my mom relayed bits and pieces about someone my dad worked with at Delta, someone I knew.  He was a family friend.  We had many ties to this man’s family.  But he teased my dad.  Mom thought it went beyond teasing; she thought it was disrespectful and crossed the line of taunting and making fun of my dad. Again, I don’t know all the details, but I remember she and dad discussing it.  I remember her sticking up for Dad and losing much respect for this “so called friend”.  But Dad never held a grudge; he didn’t turn his back on this man.  They remained friends. Just like in the first example with my aunt, this scenario with Dad and his “friend” spoke volumes to me.

Dad believed too strongly in the Words of His Lord to hold on to any bitterness.  He released it to the Father.  He practiced turning the other cheek. 

And there’s the rub isn’t it.  I believe as Christians we make excuses not to forgive.  And the #1 reason is “I am justified”.  “I was wronged or offended”.  I’ve done it myself numerous times. Even if I haven’t said it out loud, I’ve thought, “He hurt me”.  “She knew exactly what she was doing!! I will never trust her again!”

In the last few years, I’ve had various friends confide in me of situations where family members are not speaking and are totally alienated from one another because of jealousy, resentment, misunderstandings and the like.  A friend recently said to me, “I’m done” when speaking of certain family members.  The thing is I know all parties involved so I certainly know she IS JUSTIFIED in her feelings. I know who is innocent and who has been the offender.  I empathize with her plight.

God and Jesus knew that we would encounter situations here on earth that totally tested our faith. Acquaintances would offend us. Co-workers would upset us. Family members would hurt us.  Even close friends and family would do things that make us feel betrayed and abandoned.  But here’s the thing.  If we respond just like the world and hold a grudge or don’t forgive, we are just like the world.  There’s no difference.

But what do we do with all those pent-up feelings and emotions?  How do we deal with it when someone we thought loved us does something intentionally or unintentionally to wound us?  It does happen.  It will happen.

It’s been my experience that it doesn’t really matter if you’re justified or not. 

Read that sentence again.  Why?  It’s taken me years to learn that lesson!  The Lord is still teaching me in this area.

It all boils down to a simple decision.

Will we relinquish that anger, that resentment, that pent up frustration/hurt to our Father God? – or will we hold on to it and have our own way?

Years ago when our son, Nathan, was a toddler, my husband and I began attending Family Life Marriage conferences.  This organization, under the umbrella of Campus Crusade for Christ, hosted “Weekend to Remember” conferences.  Norman and I made it a priority to attend.  Each year, the weekend of the conference was something we looked forward to and our marriage benefited greatly from the sessions.  There was rich spiritual and practical teaching that drew us closer to one another and the Lord — and the time away from everyday life was refreshing.

Early on in our marriage, I distinctly remember attending one of these weekend conferences.  I can’t tell you who the speaker was…obviously, someone who was older, wiser and further down the road than just a few years into marriage like us.  But the speaker shared some personal stories about conflict that had ensued between he and his wife through the years.  But when he came to the subject of forgiveness, he gave this definition.  “Forgiveness is giving up the right to punish”.  Through the 31+ years that Norman and I have been married that simple definition has stuck with me.  The Holy Spirit has brought it to mind numerous times within my marriage, but also in numerous other circumstances and relationships.

Why do I mention it?  Because I’ve learned, sometimes the hard way, that forgiveness begins with a decision to relinquish control and turn it all over to God.  It involves submitting your will, your emotions and ultimately your life to the Father.  It involves giving up your rights.  Most of us don’t like that.  Most of us think we’re entitled. 

There’s a delicate balance of standing up for yourself and not being a doormat, but still following the commands of Jesus.

A few months ago I was reading these verses in Matthew.  I was struck by the wording.  There’s no wiggle room.  There’s no fudging in God’s world.  His ways are certainly higher than ours.

In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus states the following: “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive you.”    Is that scary and a little disconcerting to you?  It is for me!  It’s quite the motivation to make forgiveness an act of obedience and a priority!

I close asking you, is there someone you need to forgive?  Have you been holding on to something trite for years?  Something huge and big?  If we were to talk, you could tell me how JUSTIFIED you are in holding on to it – and how the other party offended you.  Remember, friend.  Jesus was totally JUSTIFIED in holding his crucifixion and death against you/me, but HE didn’t.  He and the Father forgave you/me.  Follow HIS example.  Then, and only then, can you truly find freedom in Christ! 

I close with a verse that was the first one Norman and I memorized as a married couple.  It still is a great mantra from the Word on how to live and conduct yourself as a believer.  And it definitely sums up where we should be as sons and daughters of the King of Kings when it comes to forgiveness.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ Jesus also has forgiven you.”  Ephesians 4:32

I have been trying to write this article on forgiveness for a couple of weeks.  The problem is I have so much to say that I don’t really know where to begin.  The other problem is I didn’t really want to write on this topic (for some very personal reasons), but I’m trying to be obedient to what the Lord has told me.  Without question, HE has asked me to write on this topic.

Wouldn’t you know that this morning in Sunday School, the lesson was on forgiveness.  Coincidence?  I think not!

When you hear the word “forgiveness”, what comes to mind?  Is it possibly someone you’ve never been able to forgive, a struggle you’ve had in this area?  Maybe it’s just how difficult the task truly is.

When I hear or meditate on the word “forgiveness”, I think of 3 people:  Jesus, Joseph in the Bible and my dad.

Jesus.  Perfect Jesus.  Even hanging on the cross in excruciating pain from nails in his wrists and feet, thorns puncturing fragile skin on his scalp and head, not to mention all the flesh that had been torn and was bleeding profusely from lashes with a whip and not being able to breathe easily on the cross, Jesus still prayed to the Father, “Forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing” (paraphrase).  Even as folks in the crowd mocked him, even as people in the crowd made fun and even as a Roman soldier jested, “If you are the Son of God, come down off of that cross” (Matthew 27:40), He was still loving and forgiving!!  Jesus exuded love and forgiveness in his most difficult hours of life, suffering on that rugged cross for you and me.  None of us would’ve blamed him if he had shouted back.  None of us would’ve blamed Him if He called down the angels to rescue Him.  After all, He didn’t deserve what happened to Him.  Thankfully, Jesus did not give in to His own will, but released Himself to the Father.  I can’t hardly wrap my brain and heart around that kind of love and forgiveness Jesus carried out as He gave His life up for each of us.

Just to know that Jesus paid the ultimate price for MY sins and YOUR sins is truly humbling. He didn’t deserve it.  He was the PERFECT substitute for you and me. When I admit my sin to Him, He forgives me and removes my sin as far as the east is from the west.  Mind blowing!!!

Joseph in the Bible was a forerunner to Jesus. He wasn’t perfect by any stretch.  We certainly witness that as we read accounts of him interacting with his family in Genesis 37:2-50:26.  I’ve heard some preachers say, and I’ve also read  commentators who believe that Joseph was close to perfect.  He didn’t do anything wrong.  I disagree with that perspective. Early on, when he was young, he was arrogant and boastful.  He rubbed it in his brothers’ face that he was Papa Jacob’s favorite son, and that his brothers would one day bow down to him.  Whatever the case, you know the story.  Joseph’s brothers plotted and sold him into slavery.  He was stripped of his beautiful coat that Daddy gave him, beaten and pretty much left in the desert to die – or would’ve been if Reuben hadn’t stepped in. What his brothers did to him was just unfathomable.  Left to die in a deep cistern in the desert – and then sold into slavery.

If you want to read the full account, turn to Genesis 37:12-36.

Fast forward.  Joseph goes through much after he’s sold into slavery.

As Potiphar’s loyal servant, he is unjustly accused of rape by Mrs. Potiphar; even after being a godly man of upright character who runs away from a proposition from the Mrs., he is unfairly imprisoned; and then he’s forgotten by the Pharoah’s cupbearer.

We see this young man go through all of these trials, and finally he rises through the ranks to be rewarded and become second in command over all of Egypt.

Bottom line.  By the time Joseph’s brothers appear before Joseph to beg for food during great famine, he harbors no resentment. He doesn’t seem to have to work through his unforgiveness; there’s no process involved. Even when he’s in prison, even during his time as a slave as he’s adjusting to life in Egypt, if he deals with unforgiveness or bitterness, we are not privy to it.  Was God working on his heart during that time? Or through all the many valleys and struggles had he learned to depend on his Father God like never before?

It makes me wonder. 

Genesis 49:23-24 seems to indicate that through all of his troubles, he did mature spiritually and look to His Heavenly Father.

“With bitterness archers attacked him (Joseph); they shot at him with hostility.  But his bow remained steady, his strong arms stayed limber, because of the hand of the Mighty One of Jacob, because of the Shepherd, the Rock of Israel.”  These verses reveal that Joseph did turn to God to “steady” him and keep him on the right track.  Who else did he have to turn to?  Not his father who played favorites his entire life, not his brothers, not servants.  It was either do it Joseph’s way or follow the One True God. 

But my favorite line from the passage about Joseph that is the takeaway from this entire story is also one of my faves from the entire Word of God.  Here it is…drum roll, please… “You (his brothers) meant evil against me, but God used it for good.” 

But could God have accomplished this incredible example of reconciliation and forgiveness and bring the family back into unity if Joseph had held on to his “rights”?  God can do anything, but I think in this case, the answer is obvious.  God had to get Joseph to a point of full submission before he could allow a sweet family reunion.

Don’t you agree?

And then I think of my next example…

A couple of years ago, I was subbing in a 1^st grade class.  Now, you have to understand that I substitute teach at just one elementary school near me.  It’s the school where our son, Nathan, attended.  I love it; the teachers are wonderful!  They are conscientious, devoted, loving and as I always tell others, “these teachers are there for the right reasons” (to make an impact and difference in the lives of their kiddos).  Typically, I substitute in 2^nd grade – 5^th grade, and I’ll also sub in art, music and physical education.  But K or 1^st grade is not my niche.  I love younger children in that age category, but I don’t have training or a background with that particular age group. But when they really need me and can’t find a substitute, I will reluctantly sub in 1^st or K. Whatever the case, I had been in various first grade classes over the course of about 3 weeks.

This particular day I was in a fairly typical first grade class.  Some kids were already reading fluently; some kids were still struggling to read. Some were well-behaved, and some, well….

Usually when I’m in a new classroom, the first thing I do after reading the teacher’s lesson plans is learn the children’s names.  If I can do that and not have to say, “You in the blue shirt” it helps immensely for our day to run smoothly…and to cut down on discipline issues, etc.  And my goal is to build a rapport with each child.  Even as a substitute, I want to make each one feel special – and know he/she is not a number to me.

There were many challenging students in this class, but there were many sweet, well-behaved kiddos as well.  But one young man real stood out, and I gravitated to him throughout the day. I try very hard to not play favorites.  But I couldn’t help but notice this young man. He had blonde hair and gorgeous crystal blue eyes.  His responses were so polite with “yes m’am, no m’am, please and thank you”.  Needless to say, he was a beautiful boy.  His name was Lincoln; I couldn’t help but think how that name suited him.  I learned his name quickly as he reminded me of Abraham Lincoln, not because of his looks, but because of his character.

Even more than his physical attractiveness, his heart was obvious! In just one day, I had noticed him helping a little girl when things accidentally toppled out of her bookbag.  I had witnessed him help another boy with a math assignment, even though I hadn’t instructed him to do so.  When others were pushing and shoving to be first in line, he exhibited self-control as he was standing back being patient.  Throughout the day, this pint-size kiddo impressed me so! He listened well and obeyed my instructions.   I came home and told my husband that I knew this young man was from a good family. 

A few months later, I was driving home from school and got directly behind the school bus.  It stopped at a house up the street from us.  Who did I see get off the yellow school bus but this young Lincoln?!

I was stunned!  I knew there was a young family who had moved in a month or so ago.  Norman and I had witnessed a few children out playing in the yard, but I was still so surprised to see him!

The next time I was in this same first grade class, Lincoln stood out again!  And, he remembered me.  By this time, he and I had bonded. 

He was self-controlled and seemed extremely thoughtful of others.  He listened, obeyed and followed instructions.  He smiled at others and me.  I told Norman that I was convinced Lincoln was a Christian!

I knew from our first encounter that there was something special about Lincoln.  He didn’t fit in with the other kids. He STOOD OUT!   He helped at every turned.  He was kind to everyone around him.  He went out of his way to be loving and considerate.  Not your typical first grader. Most of the children seemed to like him, but that did not seem to be his primary motivation.

Many months later I was going through the drive through at a car wash.  The huge spinning brushes washed the exterior of my car.  Then, pulled to another area to use their vacuums to clean the inside.  It was one of those frigid days when the wind was whipping, and the temps were plummeting.  But my car was so dirty.  As I pulled into a space to wipe the outside down with some of their rags and also vacuum the floorboards, I happened to look up at the car parked next to me.  Sitting in the passenger’s seat was Lincoln.  He recognized me immediately!!  His dad was out drying their car and getting every spot clean.  I waved, and he waved back.  We were excited to see one another!  In a few minutes, I was putting the vacuum hose back in its holder and was about to depart when I felt a tap on my shoulder.  It was Lincoln’s dad.  He said, “My son knows you and wants to talk to you.”  Lincoln had emerged from the car and ran to hug me.  Needless to say, I hugged him back.  He yelled first thing, “Mrs. Neeley!!!”  Oh, how that made my heart sing and lifted my spirits for the rest of the day and several that followed.  We talked briefly as all of us were freezing.  I sang Lincoln’s praises to his dad…and told him how proud he should be of his son and gave him specifics.

I could write more about Lincoln, but I won’t. 

Unfortunately, Lincoln is moving from our neighborhood in just a few days.  I’m saddened to see him, as well as his dad, mom and three siblings go.  God is calling Lincoln’s dad into full-time ministry as a pastor.  His family is headed to Louisville first for a year of study in seminary, and then they will move back to California where he will be a pastor of a local church.

At this point, you’re probably saying, “So, what’s your point, Laura?”

Friends, I was only in the classroom three times with Lincoln.  I observed him in the hall, and I encountered him on the playground a time or two.  But my point is this.

Lincoln made an impression on me.  He didn’t fit in with the other 1^st graders.  He STOOD OUT in all the important and meaningful ways.  He was

KIND

COMPASSIONATE

ATTENTIVE

OBEDIENT

THOUGHTFUL

HELPFUL

SELFLESS

LOVING

I could go on and on, but what do people think of you when they encounter YOU just once?  Twice?  Three times?

As a believer in Jesus Christ, our goal should be for others to see Jesus in us.  Not for us to fit in and try to be like the world or look like the world. 

My brief encounters with young Lincoln impacted me.  This young 1^st grader made me think, “I wonder what others think about me when I meet or work with them for a day?  Do I point them to Jesus?” 

I definitely thought of this verse in relation to Lincoln.  Matthew 5:16 “Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”  All I know is Lincoln sure encouraged my heart!!  His good works reflected Jesus.  How about you, friend?  Are you trying to fit in with the world or stand out for Jesus?