To all my followers in blog land who take the time to read what I post, I’m so grateful. Thank you for being loyal followers and even responding to articles. You all are the best encouragers. Truly, I thank God for each of you.

I pray God will bless each of you and that this CHRISTmas you realize afresh and anew that God gave up His most prized possession for each of us. And Jesus gave up all the benefits and privileges of heaven to come live among us in a sinful, unholy place called earth so that we could be reconciled to the Father through His death. The cross was His purpose…and He willingly took the stripes so we may be healed.

May Jesus be our focus this CHRISTmas and in the coming new year!

Love and prayers for His best,

Laura

Have you ever felt distant from God?  Wondered why you’re not “hearing from Him” when you’re reading the Word, praying and going to church?  As the old adage goes, “God hasn’t moved.”

Obviously, there are many reasons why you might be “going through the motions”, but not feeling intimacy from the Lord.  Lack of obedience, unconfessed sin, habitual sin or other reasons.  Perhaps, friend, there is some bitterness, unforgiveness in your heart towards a family member, friend, co-worker or someone.  You’ve tried to bury it.  But it’s there.

And that unforgiveness is affecting your relationship with others and the Lord.  My former youth minister used to always remind us teens that if we’re not right horizontally in relationships, then we can’t be right vertically (as he referenced the cross).  Neither can we be right in any relationship horizontally if we’re not right with God vertically.  Hope this image analogy makes sense. That picture analogy has stuck with me all these years because it is so very true.

As I was thinking on this topic, I ran across this verse.  Usually, we see this verse used when Jesus is talking about unbelievers hardening their hearts and not being open to accept Jesus as God’s Son – and God’s free gift of salvation.  But I think Jesus is also speaking to His followers. He’s warning us to not ignore His promptings…the ones that come from the Holy Spirit to guide, warn and convict us.

“Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did at Meribah.”  Psalm 95:8

Commentary on this verse states, “The psalmist warns against hardening our hearts as Israel did in the desert by continuing to resist God’s will.” 

Hardening of the heart is a gradual process.  I don’t know about you, but the older I get the more I realize it’s quite easy to “harden my heart”.  I have to be intentional and disciplined and “tuned in” to the Holy Spirit or I can easily get off track.  I must make a conscious effort to submit to HIS will vs. my own.

If I’m not in the Word daily and talking to God and Jesus, then the enemy can push my buttons or my flesh can take over. 

It’s especially easy to allow the enemy or my flesh to get easily annoyed or offended with family.  We spend the most time with one another; we know each other well.  But we can irritate, wound and hurt each other the most, even though we love each other profoundly.

The enemy wants to divide and conquer…and disrupt and pull apart the family.  Family is God’s design – and we know the enemy loves to destroy anything that was God’s creation.

But anger, bitterness and being offended can extend to co-workers, friends and even acquaintances.  Once, I was angry with a complete stranger that I had never seen; I only knew her name!!! She filed a claim against my mother.  I didn’t realize I was harboring unforgiveness; the Lord revealed this problem with my heart and spirit one morning when I was “still and quiet”.  I’ll be honest.  I told Him repeatedly how justified I was as this woman was lying through her teeth!!!  I knew it; the insurance company knew it; my precious mother knew it — and God knew it!  I seethed with anger over the angst and worry she put my mother through!!!  But finally, I had to leave the consequences and the judgment up to the Lord.  It wasn’t an easy process!!  But I finally gave all my ugly emotions over to God.  I desired my intimacy with Him way too much.  I didn’t want to sacrifice that.

How about you? 

Are you on guard and aware of the enemy’s tactics?

There is a reason God warns us in scripture, “Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life” **

Your heart has to be recalibrated daily.  Anger, unforgiveness and bitterness can poison a God-filled heart if left unchecked.

Have you hardened your heart to God because someone offended you, and you still can’t get over it?

Maybe you’ve even blamed God?

I know a few people who have held on to anger and become more and more bitter through the years.  They refuse to release their anger.  Even after years of holding on to an issue, some I know still feel justified and REFUSE to give up their anger.

In the cases I know, the angry person has literally turned themselves into someone who is far from God – because God can’t come near you when you’re harboring that grudge or resentment.  When you hold onto that unforgiveness, it’s like there is a magnet repelling God when He tries to come close…even if you know Jesus as your Savior.

How do I know?  Well, I’ve experienced it myself when I’ve harbored anger, unforgiveness towards a loved one or friend.  It’s not a place where I want to stay or live. Two verses that I mentioned in the first article apply here.  “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”  Matthew 6:14-15.  It’s significant to bring up that these verses follow the Lord’s Prayer.  In addition, this verse comes to mind.  “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”  Colossians 3:13. The last portion of the verse really says it all, “FORGIVE AS THE LORD FORGAVE YOU”.  This principle leaves us without excuse.  He showed us mercy and love.  We should do the same.

His forgiveness, kindness and mercy should be our motivation and compel us to forgive.

It’s beyond sad when I think of the Christians I know who have carried anger with them for decades.  They change…and not for the better.  They hurt themselves in the process.  I can’t help think of this saying, “As you get older, you either get bitter or better.”  Part of that equation is not holding on to anger and bitterness.

Are you bitter or better?

As you ponder that question, let me relay one last personal story.

I was blessed indeed to have parents who not only taught me principles in the Word, but they modeled the lessons as well.

My dad strongly believed in forgiving others.  He didn’t hold grudges.  He lived this example before me and the rest of my family as far back as I can remember.

Once when I was grown, out of the house and married, I became so angry with one of my dad’s sisters.  Oh, I loved her. I was never unkind to her or expressed my feelings openly.  But if I’m being completely honest, this particular aunt could be selfish and self-absorbed (yes, she was a believer in Jesus).  In this instance, she had not taken my dad’s advice about something in which he was an expert. Seriously.  She had totally disregarded his advice.  That was her prerogative, but since she was single my dad usually helped and advised her in certain matters. I felt she had disrespected my dad.  But on top of that, she had taken advantage of my parents financially.  The details aren’t important.  What is important is the conversation that ensued afterwards.  I was steaming…boiling angry…and I told my dad that.  I asked him how he could be so calm.  I remember saying, “Dad, don’t you think you should confront her?”  It bears mentioning that this incident wasn’t the first time something like this had happened.  There was a pattern of behavior from her.

We were outside of their house talking in the driveway. It was just the two of us.  I’ll never forget my precious dad’s response.  He said, “Puddi (his term of endearment for me from the time he first laid eyes on me), how many times?”  I replied, “What, Dad?”  At this point, I was frustrated with him that he wasn’t on my revenge/angry bandwagon.  He asked me again, “How many times does HE say we’re supposed to turn the other cheek and forgive?” 

What could I say in response to that?  I knew my wise dad was correct.  Dad was referring to the verse in Matthew 18:22 when Peter poses the question to Jesus if he’s supposed to forgive his brother who has sinned against him 7 times?  Jesus answered, “I tell you not just seven times, but seventy-seven times!”

From what I’ve read and commentaries I’ve studies, Jesus is not saying to literally forgiven one who has offended you that literal number.  But he is suggesting that we continually forgive and turn the other cheek.  In other words, we don’t keep up with how many times we forgive. It’s just a way of life.  It certainly was and is for Jesus.

Or stated another way.  Forgiveness should be constant if we’re to be like Jesus.

Does that seem impossible to you? 

It does to me.  And it should be!  Jesus knew this.  We can only forgive and get past those who have hurt us by being connected to Him.  His Spirit…the Spirit of Jesus…the Holy Spirit gives us the POWER, STRENGTH to do the impossible…to let go of the offense.

Maybe you’re thinking, Laura, you have no idea what this person did to me!  All I know, dear one, is God had every RIGHT to hold each of us accountable for our sin.  Jesus would’ve been justified to blame us.  But HE didn’t.  God didn’t.

The power that God displayed when He raised Jesus from the dead is available to each of us that knows and has accepted Jesus.  We just have to access it – and ask Him for help. That same power that raised Jesus from the dead is available to each of us that has HIM living inside of us!!!  That power can give us the strength needed to forgive.  Not just help to carry burdens and navigate through trials, but the ONLY ONE who can supply what’s needed to lay down our own rights and truly forgive.

Sounds too simple, right?

The story below is one of my favorites regarding forgiveness.  And it’s such a powerful example of forgiveness that can only occur when we rely on Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

I close with this excerpt from the Gospel Coalition on the life and testimony of Corrie ten Boon. If you’ve never read her book, The Hiding Place, I strongly encourage you to read it in 2023.  Please take time to read this amazing true confession from her life on the power of forgiveness.

Corrie Ten Boom worked against the Nazis in World War Two hiding Jews in her home. When she was caught, she was sent to a concentration camp where she was stripped of her dignity, saw her father and her sister (Betsie) die, and suffered more at the hands of other people than we could possibly imagine. This is precisely why her encounter with forgiveness is so memorable:

“It was at a church service in Munich that I saw him, the former S.S. man who had stood guard at the shower door in the processing center at Ravensbruck. He was the first of our actual jailers that I had seen since that time. And suddenly it was all there – the roomful of mocking men, the heaps of clothing, Betsie’s pain-blanched face.

He came up to me as the church was emptying, beaming and bowing. ‘How grateful I am for your message, Fraulein.’ He said. ‘To think that, as you say, He has washed my sins away!’

His hand was thrust out to shake mine. And I, who preached so often to the people in Bloemendaal the need to forgive, kept my hand at my side.

Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him.

I tried to smile, I struggled to raise my hand. I could not. I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity. And so again I breathed a silent prayer. Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me your forgiveness.

As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me.

And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on his. When he tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself.”

Forgiveness can be hard, but it is not in our forgiveness “that the world’s healing hinges, but on his.” We are given the opportunity to participate in the love that Jesus extends to the world with our forgiveness. I find this a great encouragement: that Christ gives us the love we need to forgive as we practice forgiveness.

I don’t know what’s going on in your life, I don’t know who you are struggling to forgive, but I pray that you might find encouragement in Corrie’s story to see the forgiving love of Jesus in your life.

                    It’s just a few days before Thanksgiving as I sit to write.  Naturally, one would think I’d compose an article about counting your blessings, being grateful or the like.  But that’s not the topic the Lord has put on my heart.

                    The older I get, the more I witness, hear and experience so many around me that have disfunction in their family or even with a friend.  So many harbor resentment, bitterness and sometimes even ill will towards family or someone who has wronged him/her.  As I write, let me clarify.  I am talking about believers and addressing believers, those who call themselves followers of Christ. 

                    Let’s face it.  When someone has wronged you, even as a child of God, it’s just flat difficult to forgive.  It’s excruciating to move past the hurt and maybe even what could be intentional infliction of pain.

          I first began listing examples of numerous scenarios that I’ve heard relayed to me or know of going on currently.  But I decided not to do that.  Why?  Because the scenarios are not important. 

          I hear some of you now saying, “Oh, yes, the scenario is, Laura.  You don’t know what ____ did to me!”

          From a human standpoint, there are times I’ve listened to a dear friend, acquaintance or loved one relay instances similar when he/she was wronged.  Times when I think, how could God expect them to forgive such a heinous offense?

          But yet, that’s exactly what He requires.

          Forgiving is not just a suggestion; it’s not just something that God offers as one option or in certain circumstances.

          Here’s what God says about forgiveness in the gospel of Matthew.  “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

          That verse is extremely clear.  There is no room to be misconstrued.  If I want my Heavenly Father to forgive all my sins (He did that when I came to saving faith in Jesus), then I need to forgive others.  Even though God forgave my sins at the moment of my conversion when I believed that Jesus was/is His Son and died in my place on the cross, I continue to sin.  There is a need for daily confession of my sins.  This verse tells me there are sins that won’t be forgiven if I hold a grudge towards whoever.  Don’t you agree?  This verse alone offers MAJOR motivation to do the hard work of forgiving.

                    He COMMANDS us to forgive.  “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”  Colossians 3:13

          Again, the example that compels me to forgive is God Himself. 

          Just as each of us has no inherent good and no reason for God to forgive us when we wronged Him (through our sin), He still forgives.  So much so that He gave up His most precious possession – His Son, Jesus.

          Have you ever stopped to consider that He could’ve held a grudge?  He could’ve blamed us at every turn and dispensed justice with no mercy?  But then, He wouldn’t be a compassionate, loving and forgiving Father.

          One of the first verses my husband and I memorized as a newly married couple was Ephesians 4:32 “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving just as God in Christ Jesus also forgave you.”

          There were many times in our marriage that I didn’t want to forgive Norman.  I felt he needed to be punished. He didn’t need to be let off the hook so easily.  Haven’t you been there? 

          I think forgiving in a marriage and family may be the hardest.  After all, we spend the most time in these relationships.  Even the Bible bears this principle out as we consider Cain and Abel, Esau and Jacob, Abraham and Lot (Abraham definitely could’ve held a grudge), Miriam and Moses and so on.  The ones I’ve listed are just the tip of the iceberg.  It’s in family relationships that the Lord tests us at every turn to live out His principles.  It’s our training ground, if you will.

          There have been numerous times through the years that I’ve had to ask God to give me the strength or the “want to” to follow His command and forgive.  How about you?

          The story I’m about to relay doesn’t involve a family member, but it does underscore how God’s Holy Spirit speaks to us and convicts us when we are not being obedient.

          Years ago, when our son was young, we were active in a church, and I was serving in the preschool area recruiting volunteers to serve in various age groups during the church services.  As you can imagine, it wasn’t always easy to get enough volunteers or keep them.  That role was challenging enough.  But a lady that had been in that church for years headed up the preschool department.  And she was one that didn’t like change and was threatened by anything or anyone new…in this case, that was me.  I tried to work with her, become her friend and wanted to be a team.  Well, it didn’t really matter what I wanted.  She dug her heels in and worked against me at every turn.

          I didn’t purposely step on Ms. A’s toes.  In fact, I did everything to work around her without hurting her feelings.  But, Ms. A could be so moody.  I never knew on a given Wednesday or Sunday what her demeanor would be like.  It went downhill from there.  I dreaded Sundays, mainly because of the undercurrent of turmoil from her.

          On top of that, I had a dear friend and older lady (not old, but a senior to me) who I respected and admired greatly call me one day.  I’ll never forget it as she was a doctor and pretty straightforward.  There was a little small talk and then she said, “Laura, I’m calling you about something important.  Are you aware that Ms. A is talking about you behind your back?”  It stung.  It wasn’t a huge surprise or big revelation to me; it just showed me Ms. A’s true colors.  But it still hurt.  I had worked in church since I was a young teen, helping my mom in VBS or assisting her as she taught 1^st grade SS.  But NEVER had I ever encountered anyone who was so unkind and ugly as Ms. A.  There were times, in fact, that I doubted if she was a Christian.

          Well, I won’t bore you with the details of our conflict.  If you know me well, you know I despise conflict and especially in those days, I ran from it at any cost.

          But things came to a head with Ms. A on a Wednesday evening.  She spoke to me in such a harsh and disrespectful tone over some cubbies that a deacon in our church had made for free!!!  I couldn’t contain my emotions anymore.  I broke down and cried and ran out of the room.  A godly man in the church who was our custodian happened to be in the baby room when all this occurred.  He was also a deacon and one of the most genuine, consistent Christ-followers I had ever known.  He saw me afterwards, as I was waiting to get Nathan.  He put his hand on my shoulder and gently leaned over and said, “Don’t stoop to her level, Laura.  You’re better than that.”  He smiled at me, and I knew he meant well.  I so appreciated his encouragement.

          I knew Ms. A hadn’t singled me out.  She had a history of being this way to others who had served before me.  But this particular night, her history or pattern of behavior didn’t matter to me.

          We had a short drive home.  But even as we got in the car, my mind replayed the scene.  I seethed with anger to Ms. A.  I told the Lord why I was justified in my angry feelings toward her.  I told him how ugly she had been.  I knew He was aware!!

          Norman was working (he worked shifts back during this time) and wasn’t with us.  Nathan went to his room and got ready for bed.  As I sat in our living room by myself, I remember praying and venting to the Lord.  I also remember hearing the Lord say, “Pray for Ms. A”.  I literally remember saying out loud, “Pray for her!!! I want to scratch her eyes out!!”  I laughed it off.  But I knew what I had heard from the Lord.  It was clear; it lined up with His Word; I knew what He was asking of me.  I wrestled with this and had inner turmoil.  I was miserable, clinging to my hurt/angry feelings…and certainly not wanting to sit down, deal with my emotions and pray for her!

          When it was time for Nathan to go to bed, I went to his room.  He was in the bed, and our normal routine was to read from a devotional book and have a prayer. 

          Let me insert a key part of the story.  Nathan was in the 5^th grade at this time. For the last several weeks, a boy in his class, I’ll call him Jimmy, had been calling Nathan names and trying to bully him.  Jimmy had even bullied his own cousin in the class!!  I was aware of the situation (and secretly had ill feelings to Jimmy’s mom because she wasn’t handling the situation).  Anyway, we had talked about Jimmy in our family and Nathan’s teacher was keenly aware of the situation.  Still, Nathan continued to be the victim of Jimmy’s taunts and bullying.

          So, back to the original story.  We had just finished reading our devotion from the evening.  Nathan and I were about to pray when he interrupted and said, “Mom, we need to pray for Jimmy.  I don’t think he knows Jesus.”  Well, Nathan and I did pray…and we definitely prayed for Jimmy.  Needless to say, we didn’t just ask for Jimmy to stop the name calling and bullying, but we prayed for Jimmy’s heart/soul to find Jesus.

          As I kissed Nathan goodnight, I told him I loved him like usual.  But this evening, I told him how proud I was of him for realizing Jimmy needed Jesus – and that’s why Jimmy acted the way he did.  And that he acted maturely, praying for Jimmy vs. wanting to get revenge.

          As I walked back into my living room, I sat down and cried.  I thanked the Lord for giving me a son with a loving and forgiving heart and using him to teach me.  I told the Lord if my 10-year old son could forgive someone who had wronged him, I certainly could do the same.

          I won’t lie.  It wasn’t easy.  I sat down and tried to pray for Ms. A. I first remember praying some not so nice things for Ms. A – don’t judge.  Don’t tell me you haven’t been there!!   I finally prayed the best for Ms. A.

          But that night, before I could pray for Ms. A (in the right way and with pure motives), I first had to give up my rights to punish her.  I gave all my feelings of resentment, hurt, bitterness, anger and frustration to God.  I asked him to remove all those fleshly feelings and give me a heart for her.

          I remembered that Jesus could’ve held all his feelings against me.  He had every right, but He didn’t.  He forgave me.  Even in his excruciating pain and anguish on the cross, He prayed, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing.”  I know Jesus was referring to the Romans/Jews that put him on the cross and were crucifying God’s Son.  But I believe that prayer was also for you and me.

          All I can tell you is I continued to pray for Ms. A.  God lifted my feelings of anger.

          Peace and calm replaced my anger and bitterness.

          God called us away from that church shortly thereafter. It had nothing to do with Ms. A.  But I can truly say that I have run into Ms. A several times throughout the years. But when I see her, I do not recall the ugliness, the anger or even the circumstances of our encounters.  I am truly freed up and have peace.  It truly is a miracle!

          Now, I won’t lie.  I can’t say that have this same experience anytime someone has wronged me.

          But what I did learn from this is the following.

          Forgiveness is more about surrendering our own rights and being obedient to what God commands us to do.

          It’s giving him ALL of your emotions and realizing HE has every right NOT to forgive. It’s simple being obedient to what the Our Heavenly Father calls us to do.

          Now, before you think I’m some saint or have mastered this, I will just say I’m struggling now to forgive someone.  If I were to relay the details, you would tell me in a heartbeat that I’m justified.  That I have every RIGHT to be upset – and not forgive.

          But it’s one reason God has me writing this article.  As only He can do, He is reminding me that I don’t need to live trying to handle the situation on my own.  I’m only punishing myself.  But more importantly, if I’m His child, I need to live in obedience, allowing Him to be my Master.

          And by doing so, it reveals to others that I’m like Levi jeans – the genuine article.  My faith is not artificial, but it influences every area of my life.

          I know there’s someone out there who is struggling to forgive.  You’re holding on to the anger and bitterness like it’s a prized possession.  But you’re also hearing that still, quiet nudge from the Holy Spirit to lay down your rights and forgive.

          How do I know?  Because the Lord has so compelled me to write this article…and share several things. 

          Someone is hurting; someone is struggling; someone is trying to rely on self or the world’s answer when offended.  But yet, you know the truth.  Remember, the truth of God and His way WILL set you free!

          I could enumerate names of people I know that are holding onto bitterness, anger, hurt, offenses and what it’s done to their health, marriage, relationships and emotional well-being.  Some have followed this pattern for decades!!

          Even people that aren’t believers in Jesus know that holding onto these negative emotions and not forgiving just ends up hurting YOU.  You create a prison for yourself, and the visitors become anger, bitterness, resentment and all those ugly emotions.  Instead of God controlling your life, the negative emotions just snowball and become gigantic in your spirit.  They take over every facet. 

          I’m praying for those of you out there reading my blog.  God has put you on my heart.  I pray this article draws you back to the Savior…where you bow your knees and realize HIS WAY is always best.  Submit to Him today and find the peace and serenity that only He offers.  More on this subject next time.

Able

Alpha and Omega

Amazing

Awesome

Bold

Beautiful

Bread of Life

Burden Carrier

Comforter

Compassionate

Confidence

Counselor

Creator

Defender

Deliverer

Door

Emmanuel

Eternal

Everlasting

Faithful

Father

Fortress

Friend

Full of Grace and Truth

Forgiving

Generous

Glorious

Great

Good

Gracious

Guards

Guide

Heals

Helper

Holy

Hope

Immutable (Unchanging)

I Am

Just

Joy

Jealous

Kind

King of Glory

King of Kings

Life

Light

Light in the Darkness

Lifter of My Head

Lion of Judah

Love

Loving

Maker of Heaven and Earth

Master Planner

Merciful

Mighty

Miracle Worker

None Like You

Omnipotent

Omnipresent

Omniscient

Patient

Pure

Purpose

Reigns

Rescues

Revealer

Righteous

Rock

Savior

Servant

Shepherd

Shield

Sovereign

Strength

Supreme

Sustains

Teacher

Trustworthy

Truth

Understanding

Victorious

Wise

Worthy

Way maker

Jehovah Rapha (Healer)

Jehovah Nissi

In the last article, I suggested 5 things to do to help get you through a trial.  These aren’t exhaustive but specifics that God taught me and put on my heart.

But the last suggestion is THE most important by far.  If you’re going through a trial of any kind, you are hurting.  That’s a given.  You are struggling.  You may feel abandoned, alone, misunderstood, neglected, depressed, anxious and hopeless.  But while you have all these emotions swirling around, and you’re finding it hard to do life, what’s the best thing you can do?  Pray!  Yes, but not just tell God what you need or give Him your laundry list.

PRAISE.  Praise the God of the Universe.  Praise Yahweh…the One True God!

It may sound simple and so basic – and counterintuitive.  But it’s what He has told us to do.

It’s one of THE most counterintuitive aspects of prayer.

PRAISE

Praise the Father for who He is.  Put your focus and eyes on the One in control…the Sovereign God of the Universe that knows it all.  He sees the tapestry of your life from the front, back and all angles.  Pause and reflect on His character.  And don’t just reflect, but actively name character qualities and attributes. 

I have a list that helps me do just that.  It’s not exhaustive.  Since I can’t do it as an attachment, I will post it as my next blog article.  It will just be a list.  But it’s a perfect jumping off point.  What do I mean by that?

Having the list of attributes available to you helps you zero in on certain aspects of the Lord’s character.

I choose one a day every morning when I have my quiet time with the Lord.  Sometimes I look up verses that have the attribute mentioned.  But other times, I just focus on what that attribute means…and try to pause and reflect or verbally tell God He is ___ or how God’s character displays that.  I PRAISE HIM for that specific trait.

Other days, I may choose two or three.

It’s a discipline to start my prayer time with the Lord in this manner.  There are moments and days when I want to cry out to Him and EXPLODE with my laundry list.  But discipline is definitely a huge aspect of the Christian life.

Why start the prayer off with Praise?

His Word, the Bible, reminds us at every turn to PRAISE the Lord.

“Praise the Lord!  Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens.  Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness; Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre, praise him with tambourine and dancing, praise him with the strings and flute, praise him with the clash of cymbals, praise him with resounding cymbals.”  Psalm 150:1-6

Are we just supposed to Praise the Lord in church?  I don’t think so!!  What we do in corporate public worship is a snapshot of what should go on in our private devotional life.

Scripture doesn’t tell us to “praise God” in just church or his sanctuary.

Psalm 34:1 “I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips.”

When you’re hurting, when you’re experiencing some of the most difficult things that life or the enemy can throw out you, don’t focus on the circumstances.  That’s easy.  Anyone can do that.  A non-believer does that.  Look up and get your eyes off the circumstances and onto the ONE that made you and knows it all.

“I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders.  I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise your name, O Most High.”  Psalm 9:1-2

When I was watching the life slowly ebb out of my larger- than- life dad, when I was having to pray and ask God to give me strength as I helped him with basic life skills (and I knew it embarrassed or humiliated dad but couldn’t be helped), when I knew that life was changing for my parents and would never be the same again, when my mother was crying as I had to do for my dad and she couldn’t, I would pray and ask the Lord for help.  I would cry out to Him for wisdom, for strength, for perseverance…for Him.

But more than that, when I had moved in with my parents to care for Dad, I would get out and go for walks around their complex.  I did this for several reasons:

• I knew they needed some alone time without me underfoot.
• I did it to clear my head and get a change of scenery – and for exercise.
• Main reason…I did it to have that alone time with my Creator.  And I always started it by Praising Him.

I’ll be honest.  There were many moments and days that it took discipline.

Why?  It’s easier to whine, complain and cry out.  I wanted relief!  I wanted him to stop what was happening to my father; I wanted his health restored.  I wanted the pain my mother was experiencing to be halted.  I wanted, I needed, I expected….

But I paused.  Oh, believe me.  I got to those things.  I eventually cried out and asked God for the entire laundry list.

But first, I stopped to look up and reflect on the God who gave me life.  The God who was in charge.  The God I knew was still in control of all circumstances, even when I didn’t understand.

“Offering a sacrifice of praise” as it says in the scriptures lifts your head, your focus and all of you to praise your Maker.  To focus on His character and goodness vs the mess surrounding you.  Somehow by doing this, God gives you peace and helps you cope.

I can’t explain it, but I’ve experienced it enough to know it might seem like THE most counterintuitive thing to do, but once you do it once, you WANT to keep doing it.

In addition to church, two ministries I’ve been involved in for numerous years have impacted my life as a believer and disciple of Jesus.  These two ministries have taught me much and so influenced my life.   One is Bible Study Fellowship.  It’s an international interdenominational ministry that’s been around for 50+ years.  Anne Graham Lotz (one of Billy and Ruth Graham’s daughter’s) cut her spiritual teeth in this ministry.  The other ministry near and dear to my heart is Moms In Prayer. It was started by Fern Nichols, a California mom whose oldest child was going into junior high.  Fern asked God for one other mother to join her in praying for her child and the child’s school. From this simple prayer, a ministry was birthed.  Both of these ministries have been such a blessing in my spiritual journey.

More importantly, both of these wonderful ministries taught me to PRAISE.  Praise is different than thanksgiving.  In thanksgiving, we are recalling specifics; we are acknowledging and expressing gratitude for providing, giving, answering prayer, protecting, etc.  But Praise is focusing on HIM.  His character.  As someone has said, “It’s focusing on the Giver and not the gifts.”

I was blessed to pray each week when I lead a MIP group for Nathan’s school.  The format we followed when we prayed was Praise, Confession, Thanksgiving, Intercession.  Why Praise? And why begin with this?  This format is modeled after the Lord’s Prayer.  Think about it, “Our Father, who art in heaven.  Hallowed be thy name” — and in this ministry, it keeps women on track.  We need a format as we pray for our kids or we would be all over the place.Throughout scripture, God tells us repeatedly to “praise Him”.  Here are just a few verses that remind us God WANTS us and CALLS us to PRAISE.

“Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.”  Psalm 68:19Praising God is one thing during a “normal, routine” prayer time.  But Praising Him during a storm is truly “offering a sacrifice of praise”.  You may not FEEL like doing it.  But trust me.

• It meets a need – a need that He created inside of you
• It is being obedient to scripture and what He tells us to do;
• It provides peace;
• It’s Biblical…and frankly, once you do it, you realize the benefit in doing it.  

But during my quiet time with Him…when I walked, I would praise Him.  Did I always want to?  No.  But did it help?  You bet?  As it says in Psalm 3, He became the “lifter of my head”.

As you praise, it takes your eyes off your immediate problem and puts your gaze on “Him who is able” (Ephesians 3:20).

Praise looks beyond the circumstances.  It doesn’t mean you pretend that all is well.

ALL of us can praise God when things are going well.  It’s easy to tout and tell him how grateful we are for his goodness, holiness and mercy when everyone is healthy and the family is cohesive and everyone getting along.

But when the diagnosis is cancer, when the prodigal son doesn’t seem to be returning, when the teenage daughter is spiraling deeper into an eating disorder or the grown daughter/wife/mother can’t function because of her anxiety, when the middle-aged son can’t quit drinking or when the granddaughter is making unwise choices or when finances aren’t there to care for a parent with Alzheimer’s, that’s when it becomes truly a SACRFICE of praise.

It costs us something.  Because that’s when God wants us to get our eyes off the circumstances and look up.

As Paul reminds us in Hebrews 13:15, “Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise – the fruit of lips that openly profess his name.” 

Remember.  Even during the most excruciating and trying times, He is still Faithful.  He is still a Redeemer.  He is still Father God who is Sovereign, Good and in control.  He can be trusted.

We can still trust His character and His motives.  He is trustworthy and reliable.

“It is better to trust (or take refuge) in God than to trust in man.  It is better to trust (or take refuge) in God than to trust in princes.”  Psalm 118:8-9

The other morning as I walked, it was quiet and peaceful.  I typically don’t listen to music when I walk.  It’s too much of an opportunity to have a meaningful prayer time with the Lord.  But what I did hear were several birds chirping.  It was pleasant and soothing.  But one stood out.  His “chirps” were louder and more consistent.

I couldn’t help but think of that verse, “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!” Psalm 150:6

To me, that piercing song from the one lone bird was a reminder from the Lord.  He has made ALL of creation to PRAISE HIM.  I want to do just that…and be heard above all the rest.  Even when the circumstances of life are at their worst, I want to still lift my voice in Praise to my Maker!

My desire is to Praise Him continually – and for that to be the normal pattern of my life.

Do you like it when someone else gives you praise?  Does it lift your spirits and motivate you when someone praises you with no hidden agenda?  Where did we learn that trait?  I think it’s from the God of the Universe.  And with Him, we have numerous reasons to Praise a Perfect and Holy God who loved us enough to give up His most precious Son, Jesus.

Just recently, I was studying and reading for “Kingdom Divided” in Bible Study Fellowship.  I was reading the account of King Jehoshophat in II Chronicles 20.  I hope you will read the entire chapter.  But in a nutshell, King Jehoshophat had followed the Lord and led the people of Judah to rely on the Lord as well.  He wasn’t perfect and had compromised several times.  But in this instance, he learns that 3 vast armies are about to attack.  Does he assemble the army?  Does he try to quickly fortify the troops?  No, he turns to the Lord.  Then, he has all the people fast.  Lastly, he gathers everyone together (men, women, children) and he leads the entire assembly in prayer.  Just listen to parts of the prayer from II Chronicles 20:6, “O Lord, God of our fathers, are you not the God who is in heaven?  You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations.  Power and might are in your hand, and no can withstand you”.  He goes on to name some specific things God has done.  He closes with this line, “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you.”  I’ve used that in my prayer constantly since reading.  When he is in crisis and about to be attacked by a vast army, he doesn’t panic.  He doesn’t run to the battle plan.  He doesn’t trust his own instincts.  He doesn’t melt into a puddle of tears.  He praises the Lord; he recounts all God has done; and then, he acknowledges God’s might and his helplessness.

In addition to this prayer, read on in Chapter 20:20-22 as Jehoshophat has men of Judah sing and praise God. Read for yourself to find out what God does on behalf of the people of Judah.  It is truly stunning and will strengthen your faith!! 

Please don’t think I’m saying that if we Praise God, then He will answer all our prayers. He will always rescue; He will always heal; He will always “fix” all the circumstances. I don’t mean to imply that.  But I KNOW from experience that Praising Him does get His attention and is being obedient to what His Word tells us to do. 

I’ve witnessed it in numerous Moms In Prayer groups.  When we have an especially meaningful praise time, walls are broken down and God answers!!  It doesn’t mean everything is perfect and all is resolved.  But there is certainly a strong connection.

Even as I write about Praising the Lord, several special songs come to mind.

Casting Crowns, “I Will Praise Him in the Storm”

This next one is an oldie but a goodie; it takes me back to college days.  It’s a song by Evie…Back then the song and lyrics ministered to me, but they mean even more today as I’ve walked longer with the Lord and experienced more heartache in this life.

“When you’re up against a struggle that shatters all your dreams,

And your hopes have been cruelly crushed by Satan’s manifested schemes,

And you feel the urge within you to submit to earthly cares,

Don’t let the faith you’re standing in seem to disappear,

Praise the Lord – for our God inhabits praise

Praise the Lord, for the chains that seem to bind you serve only to remind you that they drop powerless behind you when you

Praise Him”

This song basically sums up what I’ve been trying to convey in this article.

And a list of songs about praise wouldn’t be complete without the Doxology. Most churches have gotten away from singing old hymns such as this one.  But I grew up singing it.  The other week my husband was playing with an orchestra that accompanied over 250 ladies singing.  It was an evening of unforgettable worship.  But, the concert was closed with the Doxology sung acapella. And the congregation joined it. It was such a worshipful gathering, and the most fitting way to end the evening.  I use it to close out this article on Praise as well.

“Praise God from whom all blessings flow;

Praise Him all creatures here below.

Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts;

Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost

Amen”

The last blog article talked about perspective…and we came to the conclusion that if you’re hurting, you’re hurting.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a MAJOR trial going on in your life or a smaller, seemingly insignificant hurt.  Hurt is hurt.  A trial is a trial, whether it’s HUGE or INCONSEQUENTIAL.

Let’s go on from there.

My pastor, Dennis Watson, says quite frequently that each of us is either in the midst of a trial, about to go through a trial or we’ve just been through one.  That pretty much includes each of us.

Let’s say that you’re in the middle of a trial or major hurt.  What do you do?  How do you get through it?  What should your attitude be?

I sure don’t claim to know all there is in the Bible about dealing with a trial. And I have to say I’ve been blessed beyond measure to have not experienced that much pain and heartache in this life.  But in the last few years, God has taught me much on the subject.

I don’t think it matters if you’re going through a health scare yourself or have a loved one facing a health crisis; perhaps you’re caring for parents who are declining in health or one might even have dementia or Alzheimer’s; maybe you have an issue with your adult child or teenager that’s ripping your heart to pieces; he/she has disappointed beyond belief and isn’t walking with the Lord.  Or perhaps your grandchild is making foolish choices or causing issues in the family. Or maybe you’re in a financial crisis and can’t seem to climb your way out.  Whatever the crisis, even if I didn’t mention it here, trials come into each of our lives.

In the last few years, I’ve been through several trials that tested, as well as strengthened my faith.

Here’s a brief synopsis:

2017 – Moving my parents (and my aunt) from their home of 30 years into a senior independent living facility; my dad’s congestive heart failure getting much worse and his decline

2018 – Dad’s homegoing

2019 – Caregiving for Mom and my last remaining aunt

2020 (March) – Aunt Nancy’s homegoing

2020 (May) – Mom’s cancer diagnosis and unexpected homegoing

2020 (July) – Duchess’ (our dog for 15 years) death

2020 – ***

***There was another trial during 2019-2020.  It was even more difficult than my parents’ deaths.  I can’t explain the details now.  Just suffice it to say, it was the greatest test of my faith since I’ve been a believer in Jesus.  I’m not trying to be overdramatic.  It’s still too soon and too open a wound to write about it.

We moved my parents from their home of almost 30 years.  Just seeing their decline, as well as packing them up and realizing they were having to leave the beautiful home they had saved and worked hard to build was excruciating.  I so felt for them.  But they knew it was time, and we did as well.

Mom was already on a walker, effects from botched back surgery (she was left with no feeling from her waist down) as well as neuropathy.  She went from walking normally and able to enjoy excellent mobility to loss of feeling.  The two of them did fine in their home for many years until Dad’s health began to decline.

Not even a month after their move to an independent living facility just a stone’s throw from their home, my dad had an exacerbation of congestive heart failure.  It was right after his 88^th birthday.  In fact, I remember it distinctly.  My husband, Norman, was playing for a Christian Quartet Convention in Pigeon Forge, TN.  He plays viola and was asked to play with FBC Atlanta; he had asked me to go with him for the long weekend.  But after praying, I told him I couldn’t go.  My dad’s birthday was going to be that same weekend (we could’ve celebrated beforehand), but I couldn’t get a peace about leaving.  Sure enough, Dad’s birthday was on September 28.  And on October 1, while Norman was still in TN, Dad had to be rushed to the hospital.  He was there for almost a week.  When he was released, I ended up moving in with my parents for approximately 6 weeks to help care for my dad. 

Because of Mom’s botched back surgery and neuropathy, her balance was inconsistent and shaky at times. This combination made her mobility challenging and extremely tenuous. All this to say, Mom couldn’t care for Dad on her own, mainly because of her balance/mobility issues.  She hated that!  Mom was fiercely independent so depending on me to help her and care for Dad was a reality that burdened her terribly and caused her much distress.  I was thankful I could be there and help both of them.

During this time period, I saw my 6’4” strong and relatively healthy father, who had always been larger than life and my hero, get weaker by the day.  It was excruciating to witness.  There were times I felt helpless; there were times I wanted to curl up into a ball on the bed and sleep…and just pretend all was okay.  There wasn’t time to be emotional.  There wasn’t time to cry; Dad needed help with basic life skills.

Dad turned a slight corner, and I returned home for a short time.  But Dad’s decline would continue as he was in the hospital 7 times afterwards.

The second time he had fluid build-up, we had to make the difficult decision to put him in a rehabilitation facility.  The doctors recommended us doing this as the best option; Mom and I knew his care was beyond us.  He had already fallen once when I was with them.  I tried to catch him, and I did manage to brace his fall, but he still injured his foot.

Having to help Dad with just the basics was a privilege that I’ll always be thankful for, even though it was somewhat humiliating for him.

Years ago, a dear friend of mine from college had moved back home to help his dad care for his mom, who suffered terribly with Alzheimer’s.  My friend, Jerry, bathed her, washed his mother’s hair and helped her with every private type hygiene. As we talked on the phone during this time, I’ll never forget his words, “Laura, you know you’re truly an adult when you have to do things for your parent that he/she did when you were a baby/child”.  Oh, how true that statement proved to be.

During this difficult time, especially when I was living with Dad and Mom, I would get Dad settled in the bed, and he would take a nap or just be in his spot in their living room to relax.  I’d go outside and usually walk around their facility to get some exercise and a change of scenery. And give the two of them some time without me.

During these morning walks, I’d usually have a prayer time with the Lord.  Those walks proved to be much more than just exercise for me.  It was then that I soaked in strength from the Lord.  More on that in a minute…

During these last few years and experiences, God taught me much and grew my faith in ways I didn’t think were possible.

What did I learn? 

If you’re in the middle of a difficult time or excruciating trial, what words of advice do I pass on to you? 

First and foremost, I try to pass on what GOD taught me and what is Biblical.  Any other advice might be good or practical, but it’s not the best if it doesn’t come from the Lord Himself (His Word).  I will make it clear if it’s just MY advice or it comes from God.

1.  Open up and talk to a dear and trusted friend/confidant.  Don’t keep all your feelings bundled up inside.  I’m not knocking talking to a counselor, but if you do, make sure it’s a licensed Christian counselor.  A true “Christian counselor” is difficult to find; Focus on the Family has a list of recommended therapists in every state.  But even with their recommendation, I still think you need to pray and ask God for wisdom and guidance.  Sometimes, all you need is a godly friend, trusted confidant who will be honest, listen and let you vent.  Ask the Lord to show you who that confidant should be.  And one who will either just listen – or be honest enough to give you Biblical counsel/feedback, even if it’s not what you want to hear.  That person needs to love you enough to “speak the truth in love”.   This person is priceless.  God will show you!  In Galatians 2, Paul reminds us of this truth. “Bear one another’s burdens and thus fulfill the law of Christ”.

I was blessed to have a spouse who listened, let me vent and sometimes just cry.  But Norman was trying to work full-time, care for our house, do chores around the house that I normally do as well as his own, especially when I was caregiving for Dad, Mom and my aunt.  He had enough on his plate.  Also, he’s an understanding and good listener, but he’s also a typical male.  He can only listen so much; he offered wise counsel and knew me and the situations well.  But I didn’t want to overburden him…and I didn’t want every conversation to be about all our problems.  So, there were times I went to close girlfriends who knew me well and understood my emotions.  They either had walked a similar road – or they were compassionate and empathetic, two qualities I needed in large doses during this time.

Ironically, a gal in my Sunday School class, who I knew but not very well, sought me out prior to any of these major trials in my life.   She had prayed and asked God for a prayer warrior, and He gave her my name.  I don’t say this to brag.  I say this to tell you that I was humbled and honored when she told me.  She shared much about her family…so many details and all her burdens. Honestly, I was overwhelmed at first because there was much to pray about!  But I didn’t want to disappoint her; I prayed fervently for her family and every situation – and still do.  I’ve never been shopping with this friend or done “typical girlfriend” things.  Our husbands became friends and had much in common so the four of us did some things together.  For many months, she leaned on me and vented so I would know how to pray for her family and all she was going through. 

But, as only God can do, she had been a caregiver for her mother years before we knew one another. She and her mother were very close, just like I was with mine.  She became such a source of compassion, strength, comfort and empathy for ME when my mom became sick and I was caring for her…as well as my dad.  Even in just a text message, I read the love and concern in every line…she had walked this same road and understood the internal struggle.  Not only that, but the other trial that I alluded to that we were going through in 2020, she had experienced something super similar years before.  Friends, only God can do this!!  Here she sought me out because she needed a prayer partner/prayer warrior to carry her burdens.  But she ended up being a prayer warrior and confidant during some of THE most difficult days of MY life – and being such a blessing. She was an encourager like no other because she understood full well what I was experiencing.  Why do I relay this? Trust that He can and will provide for you.  Trust Him and ask Him to put someone in your path that will be a dear, reliable confidant, friend and prayer warrior.  He is more than capable of doing this!!  He LONGS to meet your needs.

•  Cry out to God for help FIRST.  Even as I typed that, the statement sounds so basic.  But sometimes we forget to ask Him for help.  We run to the doctor, the counselor, the friend, financial planner or we look to practical tips, pros/cons, lists and common sense…In other words, everywhere else.  But His Word reminds us to seek Him First.  Yes, He already knows your situation.  God knows the problem or issue in great detail.  But ask Him for help — and pray specifically.  God tells us repeatedly in scripture to look to Him vs. ourselves.

“Cast your cares upon Him for He cares for you.” I Peter 5:7

Psalm 46:1-2 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble”

Psalm 118:8-9 “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.  It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes.”

“Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not turn to the proud…”  Psalm 40:4

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped.”  Psalm 28: 7

• Persevere.  Ask God for strength to put one foot in front of the other.  There were days when I was caregiving that I was worn out from running; I was exhausted physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  But sometimes I would pretend I was in a race, and I needed to get to the finish line.  Some people are born with this kind of perseverance.  My mother was one of those tenacious human beings who came out of the womb persevering!   When she was a caregiver for her mother, I saw her “don’t quit” spirit in action. Even when she was on a walker and not always feeling well herself, she ALWAYS pushed herself to do for my dad. Her nickname was “Bunny” and many times in our family we referred to her as the “Energizer Bunny” because she kept on keeping on.  But that was a trademark for Mom…always putting others’ needs before her own…and never giving up! I don’t know how she did it; her energy never seemed to fail. Mom was the star of her basketball team in high school.  I always said that the same drive and determination she had on the basketball field to never give up and forge ahead served her well in life.  But I also know she had great faith and relied on the Lord to help her have energy and strength during the long hard dark lonely days of caregiving, as well as other difficult situations.  I, on the other hand, had to lean on the Lord greatly and ask Him to teach me perseverance.  When I’m in a trial, I usually want to lay down, sleep and pray it will be over soon.  Avoidance doesn’t really help the situation.

Even if the trial your experiencing isn’t requiring something of you physically, it is still taking its toll with worry, emotional stress, etc.  Ask God for perseverance and staying power to not give up practically or even in praying!!

James 1:2-3 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” 

• Ask Him what He wants you to learn from this trial…not just to remove it or take it away.  For me, this one is tough.  I’m still learning that I don’t have to know the WHY behind every thorn bush.  Trust that God is allowing the trial and using it to grow you or draw you closer to Him.  Consider the previously stated verse in James as well as this one below.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55: 8-9

•  Trust that His grace and strength will see you through, no matter how difficult the trial.  Lean on Him and ask for His strength, wisdom, guidance and help!

“My grace is sufficient for you (Jesus is speaking), for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  II Corinthians 12:9

The last and most important Biblical tidbit God taught me is covered in the next article. I hope you’ll keep reading as it’s really my main reason for writing this entire article.

“Casting all your cares before Him because He cares for you”  I Peter 5:7

Currently, I’m going through a situation that is stealing my joy. If I were to share the details with you, you would agree with me and probably even have compassion for me. I know it’s a bump in the road; I know it’s temporary (the Lord has told me…although I don’t know what “short-lived” means in His terms); In the scheme of life, I know it’s “small potatoes”.

Or at least I keep telling myself that…trying to convince myself “it’s not so bad” or “keep it in perspective”.

There is no coincidence that in the last month, I’ve had numerous friends ask me to pray for them, their adult kids or grandkids.  In some cases, it’s not even CLOSE friends asking me to pray.  Recently, many people have pulled me aside or asked me to lunch and told me extremely personal things going on in their family life.  I have listened; I have been broken hearted.  I have been stunned at circumstances – and how many are dealing with major hurts.

I won’t divulge any confidence even giving a hint about situations.  I will just say some have grown children who are making the worst choices; others have adult children who are isolating from parents and acting immature; still others have grandchildren who are being negatively affected by choices of parents who are selfish and/or using grandkids as pawns.  Some of these scenarios are so complicated and devastating that I don’t even know what to say to encourage.  Some have experienced pain and hurt for years.  Even more than not knowing how to encourage, in some cases, it’s hard to even know what to pray.

But I learned years ago not to say, “I’ll be praying”.  Why?  Because I would have good intentions but forget – maybe even the next day.

My new practice in the last 10+ years: if I say those words and tell someone I’m praying, I write it in my prayer journal, and I pray fervently for that person or the situation they described.  I take the “job” of praying as a serious “assignment”.  Or I pray with the person right then so it’s etched in my brain and heart.

At this time, I’m overwhelmed as there are so many around me going through extremely difficult situations.  Some are life threatening; some are the most heartbreaking issues I’ve ever known of in a family; most are truly helpless and can’t do anything apart from the Lord.  Truly, it will take a miracle and His intervention.

My heart aches for each one; I’m broken and try to bring each situation and person before the Lord.

I’ve told my husband; I’ve told the Lord that my situation is “small potatoes” in comparison.

I’ve tried to remind myself that the Lord told me “my trial” wouldn’t last long.  I know in my spirit that it’s a bump in the road.  But still, this week, it hit.

I had a day…maybe more than one, when putting one foot in front of the other was difficult.  Excruciating to get up, face life, eat, prepare food, wash dishes, go to work, etc.  Have you been there, dear one?

Have you had days like that?  Weeks? Where the hurt just seemed to snowball and grow bigger. I’ve tried to put it in perspective.  I’ve tried to enumerate all my blessings…and there are so many!!  I KNOW the Lord has been good to me.

As I’ve prayed for the litany experiencing REAL difficulties and hardships and trials, I’ve thanked the Lord that my “trial” is a bump. 

But still.

Basically, when all is said and done, the degree of trial or heartache or whatever is causing our pain doesn’t matter, does it? 

Even the other day, this point was brought home to me as I was substitute teaching (God always has a way of teaching me through kids!). 

I was in a second-grade class. I had never been in this class before and knew very few of the children. I was only there the latter half of the day.  I hadn’t even met the class or introduced myself yet.  I went to pick the class up from a specials’ class (art, music, physical education, etc).  Two boys bumped into each other and hit heads.  This collision apparently occurred as I was picking the class up from art so I didn’t witness it.  One boy was fine and went on his merry way.  The other boy cried and cried – and definitely needed me to acknowledge him, acknowledge his hurt and love/hug him.  At that point, I had just arrived and didn’t even know his name.  He didn’t care that I was a stranger; he needed my compassion and to know someone cared about his pain and suffering. Some of the kids were rolling their eyes related to him and seemed indifferent to his suffering. I learned later in the day, he could over dramatize situations and tended to cry at the least little thing.

I didn’t want to minimize his hurt. Inside, I was needing to get things moving and introduce myself to the kids, learn their names and have them introduce themselves to me and get started on the assignments left for us to accomplish.  At that moment, I was struggling – I wanted to show compassion to this little fellow, but at the same time I was kind of dismissing him in my head/heart, wanting him to “get over” such a minor infraction so we could get on with the agenda of the day.

Later in the day, a little girl, who seemed tough as nails somehow came up from the carpet where she was working and accidentally hit her head on the side of a sharp board.  She cried, and I knew it hurt terribly.  I immediately sent her up to the office for ice and to be checked out by the nurse.

In those moments, it didn’t really matter to the child that was hurting that one was a minor injury and one was major.

What’s the point of this?  I’m not sure, except for this truth.

No matter how small the hurt, it still hurts.

Don’t discount it.  Acknowledge it.  Even if it’s not the worst thing ever, just confessing the hurt or trial to a friend or loved one can make a difference.  And definitely talking to the Lord about it is warranted.  Jesus reminded us several times in scripture to bring our “cares” to Him.

All I know is Jesus doesn’t distinguish if my hurt is monumental or miniscule.  He comes alongside and meets me where I am.  He wraps His loving arms around me and lets me know He is there.  I am not forgotten.

As a believer and follower of Jesus Christ, even when life is overwhelming…even when life — or those that supposedly love me disappoint…I am not alone.  My Savior, that gave His very life for me, comforts me and cares more than I can imagine.  He loves me through it.  He WANTS me to turn to Him in my hour of need.  He never grows weary of hearing me cry or belly ache or complain.  What a blessing!  I have a companion that loves me unconditionally even when my spouse doesn’t understand or my best friend is tired of hearing me vent.  He is always faithful. 

HE never dismisses me, even if my hurt or trial is “small potatoes”.  It ALWAYS matters to Him…and He welcomes me with open arms.

Thank Him for that fact today — that as a child of the King, you are never alone.  He is there – and stands ready to hold you, comfort you and hear every hurt on your heart. 

He is faithful!  He is merciful and compassionate! He is loyal and will not abandon you.

He WANTS you to “cast every care on Him” and not try to carry it yourself.

Are you doing that?  If not, pause and talk to Him about everything on your heart.  It will make a difference.  Lay your trial and hurt at the foot of the cross.  Nothing is too big or too little for the Lord Jesus.  He can handle it.

I started this article with a verse in I Peter, but I love how it’s translated in the Amplified version of the Bible.  I think it underscores His infinite care and love.

“Casting all your cares (all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all) on Him, for He cares for you (with deepest affection and watches over you very carefully).”

So, have you considered if you’re like Sarai?  Do you tend to take matters into your hands and not wait on God?

The thing is…God loves you enough to let you choose.  If you want to choose to manipulate and insert your “own way”, God will let you.

If you want to step out, like Sarai, and mess things up royally, He will still be there to pick up the pieces, comfort you and still love you.

But if you want the best…the abundant life…and His plan for your life, then waiting on the One True God is your only option.  “Trust and obey for there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey” comes to mind.

The Lord gave me this analogy this afternoon.  My husband, a former air traffic controller supervisor, is retired from the FAA.  He’s worked airplanes on a screen – and kept them from crashing into one another – for over 32+ years.  And has now been an instructor for almost 7 years.  He works at an En Route facility (not at an airport; it’s a super complicated and technical job.  Unlike controllers at a tower, Norman and his co-workers never SEE actual airplanes…just blips on a screen with identifiers.  Currently, he works for a government contractor.  His current job?  He is an instructor over ALL the instructors who train young people wanting to be new controllers.  The cut off for becoming an air traffic controller is 31 years old.  All that to say, the young people coming in and learning this highly specialized job are around 25-31 years old.

On most practice problems, there are two instructors sitting with 1 new student.  The main instructor is the one correcting, pointing things out and helping the student learn.  Not too long ago, Norman relayed this story to me.

On this particular problem, the young man, I’ll call him Jimmy (obviously, that wasn’t his name), had been on the job for less than 2 months.  Norman was his main trainer.  He asked Jimmy to turn an airplane and gave him a specific heading.  Further, he asked Jimmy to contact the facility to assign that particular heading.  Instead of following Norman’s clear and well-thought-out instructions, Jimmy argued back with Norman, questioning the heading.  The heading was not just a random calculation on Norman’s part, but the EXACT and PRECISE vector that was needed to separate the airplane from the others in the vicinity.  But at that moment, Jimmy thought he knew best.  Before Norman could even correct the young man, the other instructor (who is supposed to be quiet and just be the “helper” instructor) spoke up and told Jimmy he should NEVER question Norman or any other instructor.  I’m simplifying this controller training problem greatly.  But hopefully, you get the point.

Jimmy, with a whopping 2 months of experience and limited skills, is still a total novice.  Norman, on the other hand, who is not perfect by his own admission, has almost 40 years of experience.  I was flabbergasted when Norman relayed this story.  What was Jimmy thinking?  Just a side note.  Norman gave Jimmy the EXACT measurement needed for that particular airplane.  He didn’t have to rub it in to Jimmy or say, “I told you so”.  As Norman said, Jimmy saw firsthand how he was incorrect.  And the other instructor in a firm way pointed it out to Jimmy as well (before Norman could even correct him!).  I think that instructor was more taken aback than me…and possibly Norman. 

The fact that Jimmy even questioned Norman in his role seems so utterly ridiculous to me.  In fact, Norman has only had one other trainee, a female, who came in with this same attitude.  My point?

Isn’t this exactly what we do with God?  We think we know what’s best even though God is perfect, holy and sees the Big Picture.

We’re novices, like Jimmy, when it comes to the highways and byways of life, just like Jimmy was with the highways in the sky.  But yet we still think we know better.

Really it boils down to this.  Do you TRUST God enough to surrender and leave it all in His Hands?

At almost 60 years old, I’m still learning to do just that, especially with the people I love the most on this planet.

He is a patient, understanding and phenomenal Creator and Designer.  May we pray for our faith and trust in Him to increase.  And our reliance on ourselves to decrease.

I will correct something I typed earlier.  I don’t consider myself or others who try to take matters into their own hands “manipulative”.  That word implies that you have selfish or underhanded motives. 

But, what term do we use for it when God answers our prayers time and time again, is constantly faithful, and yet we still think we need to insert and have our own agenda. 

Are we forgetful?  Short-sighted?  Impatient?  Foolish?  All of the above?

Either we trust God or we don’t.  There’s no grey area.

Let’s consider Sarai again.  Did she trust God?  No!

If she had, then her plan for Hagar and Abram to have sex would never have happened.  She would’ve known God would provide a son – somehow, some way.

Right now, God is telling me something that is difficult to believe.  The reality of the situation is screaming one thing, and what God is telling me (and has told me for several months) seems a little hard to believe.  But I wrote it down in my prayer journal.  Why?  Because I’ve learned to believe and trust His character.  When the Word tells me in Jeremiah 32:17 “Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm.  Nothing is too difficult for you”, I want to remember it and channel that verse into my own situation.

Today, as I was praying and crying out to God about this crucial matter, God reminded me of the miracles He had accomplished in this loved one’s life.…miracles that I have prayed for and been allowed to witness. Truly,  these are things that only God could accomplish.

His faithfulness and God’s character is what I cling to when the circumstances seem less than hopeful.

Just the other day, when I was tempted once again, to step out on my own and concoct my own plan, I prayed aloud and told Him again…YOU and YOU alone are truly a Waymaker, Miracle Worker, Promise Keeper, Light in the Darkness.

So, my friend, spend time on your knees beseeching the Father of the Universe vs coming up with your own futile, measly plan that will create more of a mess.  You know I’m right!! 

If you need further evidence that your clever plan with either fail or create more chaos, go back to the scriptures and reread Genesis 16 and following.  It’s a stark reminder of the messes we can create when we take matters into our own hands.

I close with a song that sums up what I’ve struggled to express.  It’s from the movie, “Joseph King of Dreams”. I’ve never seen the movie, but I love the clip from it and especially the tune.  The lyrics are so powerful!!  My husband, who LOVES all kinds of music fell in love with this song and got me hooked on it as well. We both sing it quite a bit and play it on Alexa quite frequently.

Joseph has always been one of my favorite Biblical characters.  This song just gave me another reason to admire Joseph and learn from his life.  I have no idea if the movie is even an accurate account of Joseph’s life or if it’s spot on spiritually.  I just know God has used this song and the lyrics to speak to me about this issue.

Below is the video of it, but I also typed and printed the lyrics.  Listen, and I think you’ll be hooked.

Most of all, I pray it helps you to pause and pray before you act and get “manipulative” or whatever you want to call it.

For me, it helps me to sing the song…and to remind me that HE truly knows better than anyone!!  I hope it becomes one of your faves…and especially that it helps you remember to leave things in the Master’s capable, strong and perfect hands.

You Know Better than I by David Cambpell

… I thought I did what’s right
I thought I had the answers
I thought I chose the surest road
But that road brought me here

… So I put up a fight
And told you how to help me
Now just when I have given up
The truth is coming clear

… You know better than I
You know the way
I’ve let go the need to know why
For you know better than I

… If this has been a test
I cannot see the reason
But maybe knowing I don’t know
Is part of getting through

… I try to do what’s best
And faith has made it easy
To see the best thing I can do
Is put my trust in you

… For you know better than I
You know the way
I’ve let go the need to know why
For you know better than I

… I saw one cloud and thought it was a sky
I saw a bird and thought that I could follow
But it was you who taught that bird to fly
If I let you reach me will you teach me?

… For you know better than I
You know the way
I’ve let go the need to know why
I’ll take what answers you supply
You know better than I

https://youtu.be/uzxpVGnWEWA — watch clip as you listen to the lyrics…so worth it!

Guess you all have figured out I took a long sabbatical from writing…just too much going on.  But I’m back!  For some reason, God still wants me to write.  I’m trying to be obedient but still struggle with feeling like He’s called the wrong gal.  Anyway, here goes….

Manipulation?  Me?

As I sit here, staring at the blank page, a topic pops into my head.

Sometimes when I write, God has already burdened my heart. And I know exactly what He wants me to discuss.

Then, there are numerous other occasions when I don’t have a clue what to write about.

But today, He made the topic crystal clear.  How?  Usually, He has me write about an area where I’ve struggled – or am still struggling.  And more times than not, God has spoken to me and/or convicted me regarding something in my own life…and how I need to change or surrender it to Him. Today’s article certainly fits the bill as it’s an area in which God is still chiseling away at my character, will and heart.

If someone were to ask you, “Are you a manipulative person?”  you would probably answer immediately “no” and you might even be somewhat offended.  I typically think of someone that’s manipulative as being controlling, deceptive or underhanded.  Certainly, just the word has a negative connotation.

But as Christian women, I think we can cross over into being manipulative without even realizing it.

For me, I do this with the people that I’m closest to, especially my family.

I’d probably do it with my husband more if he wasn’t such a strong personality and leader.  Seriously.  I have friends that do with their spouses.  They are well-meaning and not what I would term “manipulative”.  They just want the best for their loved ones.

Let’s evaluate this topic a little.

If I think my husband, adult child (or really anyone I’m close to) is going to make a mistake or something I totally disagree with, what’s my first reaction?  Is it to pray about it?  Do I take the issue to God and ask for His wisdom — or do I immediately try to twist the other person’s arm or try to sway them into doing what I think is correct?

More times than I’d like to admit, taking it to the Father is not my first “go to”.

I remember doing a Bible study several years ago in BSF (Bible Study Fellowship).  Typically, in this organization you study one book of the Bible during the course of a year.  This particular year was the book of Genesis.  It’s one of my favorite studies; I’ve actually been through it twice!  God taught me different things each time (once was when my son was only 3 years old, and the next time he was grown)!

But one lesson that stood out…in fact, it hit me “between the eyes” as it was so stark.  And hit such a nerve with me…you know what I mean.

Has the preacher ever been preaching, and you think he has a window into your home? You know… it’s so “spot on”. You leave wondering how he could possibly know what’s going on in your life?  I love when the Holy Spirit does that, and you realize only HE could know.

That was the case with this lesson.

The subject matter was Abram and Sarai.  When God didn’t give them a son immediately after His promises to Abram, what did Sarai do?  When she couldn’t get pregnant, what did she do?  Did she immediately turn to the Father and start praying?  Did she fast?  Did she ask close family and friends for wisdom and to pray on her behalf and Abram’s? Did she go to Abram and say, “Let’s pray together?”  If she did any of these things, we have no record of that in the Bible. Was she like Hannah who cried out to the Lord for a child?  No!

Did she WAIT on God and trust that He would indeed give she and Abram a son?  Did she trust that God did indeed have a plan?  After all, God had promised that Abram’s descendants would be as numerous as the stars.  Did she totally dismiss what God told Abram?  Did she think God needed help?

Whatever she thought, we know what happened.

Sarai devised her own plan.

Read that again.

Sarai took matters into her own hands.

I won’t ask for a show of hands out there.  But how many of you WOMEN have done something similar?  Not once, but numerous times.

We women are not the only ones.  Men can be guilty of this as well.

Sorry to pick on the women, but you have to admit it’s true.

We are planners. We are organizers.  We are problem solvers.  We LOVE deeply.  We don’t want to see loved ones, especially our kids or grandkids, make mistakes.  We will do anything to keep him/her from going down the wrong path.

Maybe I’m overstating it.

All I know is, I could be Sarai.  I can try to control, manipulate and formulate my OWN plan. 

But in the last few years, God has dealt with me on this issue.  He has convicted me — and through His Holy Spirit, I’ve realized I need to bring issues to HIM FIRST and FOREMOST…and more importantly, trust that HE has a plan. And that His plan is THE BEST!  Better than mine or anyone else’s.

Think of the havoc that Sarai caused.  Think of how many people were impacted negatively because she didn’t wait on God’s timing.

Even as I typed that last sentence, God got my attention.

I’m praying about something now in a loved one’s life that requires me to WAIT on God. I’m not liking it.  I’m wanting God to act NOW.  I’m wanting to SEE the end result.  And frankly, it’s difficult being patient.  I don’t understand why God isn’t moving immediately.  I struggle with wanting to put my plan into action.

How about YOU?

Are you trying to get ahead of God?  Do you have a tough time waiting on His plan to emerge?

Have you even paused from your plans and scheming to ask Him what your course of action should be?

Has God told you to wait, but you want to take action?

Again, today I heard His voice saying, “Trust me, Laura”.  I was comforted.  I was encouraged.  I was thankful for His reminder.  But I asked Him to give me the strength to wait and not intervene.  I’ve learned my tendency is to still want to take action.

Friend, do you struggle to sit back and wait? Like me…You want to DO something.  Correct?

Praying seems too passive.  Yes, I just typed that sentence.  I don’t mean that disrespectfully.  Believe me, I’m beyond grateful that the God of the Universe that controls the stars, planets, galaxies and all the countries of the world would communicate with me — and even want a relationship.  But be honest.  Sometimes, we don’t want to pray.  It’s too difficult, right?

But, oh, friend.  God has taught me that it’s worth crying out to Him.  It’s worth waiting.  Because HIS PLAN far exceeds what we can think or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).  Our measly, simple contrived plan isn’t even in the same ballpark as the Lord’s.

So, what will you choose?

In the previous article, I shared a portion from Philippians 2 from The Message version of the Bible.

I’m printing it here again in another translation.

Philippians 2 NIV (from my Bible, that is an accurate version…not the modern NIV that’s been altered):

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interest, but also to the interests of others.  Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:  Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness, and being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death – even death on a cross!”  Philippians 2:3-10

Just pausing to reflect on these verses is enough in and of itself!

But let’s delve into these verses some more.

So many questions come to mind:

• What do these verses teach us about Jesus?
• What qualities exemplified his life and death?
• If I’m really a follower of Jesus, shouldn’t I want to live a life of selflessness and follow His example?
• Do I pray to be selfless?  For the Holy Spirit to work on my selfish self?
• Do I look for opportunities to point others to Jesus by serving vs. putting my needs first?
• Would those who know me best testify to the fact that I’m self-absorbed or selfless?
• Do I seek to surrender my rights as Jesus did His – or do I typically demand my own rights?
• Am I content to live a selfish life or do I want others to see Jesus in me by being selfless for His sake?

Let’s stop and ponder Jesus for a moment. 

It was my goal to read the account of the events leading up to the crucifixion and the resurrection the week before Easter.  I didn’t make it.  But I did read the passages in Matthew the week after Easter.

Even before Jesus appeared before Pilate, he was silent.  Resolute.

Then, when he came before Pilate, he just responded with, “It’s as you say” when Pilate asked are you the Son of God?

Even before He went to the cross, Jesus had self-control.  He thought of you and me — and the salvation of the world.  As He hung on the cross with thorns piercing and digging into his head, with sharp nails in both wrists and feet, struggling to breathe, He only had to speak and utter God’s name.  He only had to cry out to heaven…for help, but He didn’t. He didn’t even have to do that.  He had the power to come down off of the cross…to prove his nay-sayers, mockers and enemies wrong.  He had the power to stop his physical pain.  He had the power coursing through His body that would’ve stopped the entire nightmare.  He could’ve defended himself before Pilate…before He ever got to the cross.  He could’ve avoided being whipped, mocked, and beaten.  He was God living among us who could’ve chosen not to be crucified.  Unlike you and me, He knew exactly what was coming before it ever transpired.

But, as it reminds us so well in this passage, He didn’t grasp what was rightfully His.  He gave up His rights as GOD and all that goes along with having power and being divine so you and I could come into a right relationship with the Father. He surrendered His deity and didn’t just humble himself to fulfill the Father’s plan and to be obedient.  The PERFECT Son of God without blemish, fault or even a hint of sin, took the full weight of ALL mankind’s sin – and became a servant.  The King of Kings and the Lord of Lords served us. He didn’t just serve us…He was crushed for us.  As this verse in Isaiah 53:8, “He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and with by his wounds, we are healed.”  Think on that a moment.  Think about the darkness, the evil, the emptiness, the shame, guilt and humiliation you’ve experienced when you know you’ve sinned.  Multiply by that by 100,000, and I don’t think we’re even in the ballpark yet.  I think the utter debauchery, evil, darkness, emptiness and ugliness of sin had to be a weight that was horrible for Jesus. But yet, He relinquished all that He was entitled to.  He took on this unfathomable task that had been ordained by His Father; there was no other way.  He willingly obeyed and suffered for you…for me.

Not only did he endure horrible, unspeakable physical pain before He ever was nailed to the cross and then He hung for hours, gasping to breathe and suffering in excruciating ways.    

Even more than the agonizing and brutal physical pain, the emotional pain had to be far worse.  God had to totally turn His back on His own precious and perfect Son because of our filthy and despicable sin.  He was ripped apart from the Father.  I can’t imagine the hurt, the horror, the emptiness, the loneliness.  Make yourself try to fathom it, my friend.  Why?  To understand the depths of what He encountered and suffered on our behalf.

He endured.

He willingly gave up His rights.  He gave up being pure, beautiful and holy and became dirty, despised, and rejected for those hours.  He put up with cruel soldiers mocking him.  He took it from the crowd when they yelled, “He saved others, let him save himself” and laughed.  He put up with the emotional pain of realizing that the people who had been with him for years abandoned him in his time of need.  Only his beloved disciple, John, his mother, Mary, and a few other followers were present. 

I’ve known a few heroes in my life.  I’m sure you do as well. 

Men in the military who have risked their own life to save a comrade down while in a fierce battle. 

Policeman who put themselves in harm’s way….

Firefighters who run into the hot blazing flames to rescue people, animals and entire families.

EMTs, nurses, doctors who work tirelessly around the clock

All of these are heroes.  They truly sacrifice themselves and are willing to put themselves in harm’s way to protect another.

But as wonderful and incredible as these people are, none of their deeds are even in the same category as our Lord and Savior, Jesus.

Truly we can admire their heart, their courage, their willingness to sacrifice their own life to save another. 

They certainly deserve our thanks, our gratitude and our devotion and admiration.

But Jesus and His example of love, servanthood and obedience stands head and shoulders above any other selfless act we can even contemplate.  He was truly divinity…perfect, holy and God in every way.  He CHOSE to give up everything He deserved, every divine privilege.  It was the ultimate injustice.  Even as He hung on the cross and heard the taunts, put up with the mockings and ugly comments, He still prayed, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they’re doing”.  Surely, even as He was struggling to breathe and literally being tortured to death like a common criminal, our Lord showed His true character…His divine and forgiving nature. 

It’s the ultimate picture of selflessness.  Nothing else is even in this league.

It’s the pinnacle of love, selflessness and servanthood.

How I want to have the Holy Spirit so alive and vibrant within me that my first thoughts are of others…and not myself.  Oh, to be like Jesus and willingly give up my rights to bring God glory.  Too often I demand my own way. 

You?  Praying these verses and comments make us all dwell, pray and strive to stand out in this area.