Fear

***I wrote this back in 2019.  Since then, God has helped me greatly overcome some fears.  And my precious mother has gone to her heavenly home.  But I share this “entry” in hopes that it helps at least one of you, especially during this pandemic. I know fear has gripped many.

Fear.  One four-letter word, but it can paralyze and cause great harm. 

I’m one of the victims to this dreaded emotion.  If I let it, FEAR can cripple me…my actions, my mood, my attitude, my faith. 

Norman, my husband, seems to have no fear.  He’s one of those people that can jump out of airplanes (and has numerous times!!), bungi jump (he’s done this as well), ski down the steepest slopes (many times), drive a motorcycle (oh, yes..thankfully he sold it soon after he moved here) and the like.

All of those things I just mentioned seem crazy to me to even attempt.  Yes, you guessed it.  I’m the ultimate scaredy cat and he’s definitely the thrill seeker.  For him, the more speed, the more adrenaline flowing, the more exciting and thrilling it is for him.  For me, I’m the turtle…slow and steady wins the race.  But even more importantly, I don’t want to lose control.

How about you?  Are you like me and afraid of heights?  Afraid to try new things?  Afraid of your shadow?

Fear doesn’t just keep us from those “fun”, “over the top” experiences in life.  I don’t regret or worry that I’ve never gone sky diving or ridden in a hot air balloon.  Those activities don’t bother me.  Most are not even on my “bucket list”.

But fear can overtake me spiritually and in other areas of my life, causing me to worry, over think, fret and be paralyzed.

This week alone I’ve struggled with two major fears.  I’ve worried on/off about my mom falling.  She’s 83-years old and in fairly good health.  She has Type II diabetes that she controls with her diet, and the main medicine she takes is for high BP.  But years ago she had emergency back surgery.  She had been in excruciating pain for over a month.  The ortho couldn’t find the cause; the MRIs didn’t show anything.  Once they opened her up, they discovered she had a herniated disc!  Long story short:  She woke up and had lost most of the feeling from her waist down.  Prior to this, she walked normally and had no mobility issues.  Now, 20+ years later, she also has neuropathy on top of that.  Both of these problems make it difficult for her to walk and have good balance.  She literally has to tell herself to pick her feet up!!  In the last 6 months, she’s had 3 falls.  There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t pray to God to protect her from falling.

Sounds normal, right?  Who wouldn’t pray that for his/her mother?  But I go a step further.  I think about it again and again throughout the day.  If thoughts of my mom pop into my head, I say that prayer over and over to the Lord.  I imagine the scenario if she took a bad fall.  Where would we go?  What would I do?  This line of thinking…this obsessing and letting the fear take control of me is not

Not only that, but the other fear that’s consumed is “What if Norman dies?”  I know this fearful thought is a normal one.  There’s no spouse on the planet that hasn’t entertained this one.  But again, I can be obsessive.  Last night, we had a wonderful date night Norman, my hubby, had planned.  We left around 3:30 pm.  Why?  Because we live in a suburb of Atlanta.  Need I say more???  The traffic in Atlanta can be horrendous anytime, but it was a Friday, and it was raining!!!  A double whammy!  But I digress.  We reached our destination.  Ate dinner at a wonderful “diner”, had a Krispy Kreme doughnut across the street and then went to see “Newsies”, a wonderful musical set in the 1900s.  Sounds like a perfect evening, doesn’t it?  It was!  The traffic wasn’t even that bad.

But my thoughts on and off throughout the trip and dinner were picturing Norman dead next to me in the car.  I imagined someone hitting us or us spinning out of control and him not waking up!!!  At this point, you’re saying, “Laura, you’re crazy!”  Sometimes I think so.  I got passed it. How?  I’ll get to that in a minute

 But don’t tell me I’m the only one who struggles with obsessive thoughts such as this.

Some days I’m fine.  Other days I obsess and fear what will happen to our 25-year old son….the “what ifs” fill my brain and volley back and forth like a tennis match on steroids.

What about you?  Do you worry about finances? Your spouse cheating on you?  Your spouse leaving you?  Your kids’ futures?  Their choice of friends?  How the world is spinning out of control and what it will be like for your grandchildren?

Do you fear getting cancer?  Your health declining?  Being dependent on others? Getting Covid-19 and not recovering?

Most of my fears revolve around those I love vs. my own condition.  But we are all unique and have our own fears.

The list is endless.  For most of us, FEAR is a real, negative emotion.  God knows this.  He created us so HE knows us best.

Throughout the Bible, HE gives us specific verses regarding fear or HE relays specific accounts of men/women who suffered with fear. 

The first one that comes to mind is Peter.  This impetuous and strong leader who acted and spoke before he thought struggled with this emotion.  He feared when the storm came up on the water and he/the disciples were on the boat, but Peter still got out of the boat and walked to Jesus.  For several moments, he trusted Jesus so much and kept his eyes on HIM so that fear didn’t get the best of him.  The minute he looked down at his circumstances…..and took his eyes off Jesus, he went plummeting down into the water.

It’s such a good visual for each of us.  Keep your head up, my friend.  Talk to the Savior.  Look to Him…not at your circumstances.  Am I being Pollyanna?  Does that mean it’s always going to turn out positively or as we’ve planned?

No!  But what it does mean is that fear will not control you or become your master. 

Because I’m in an incredible Bible study right now in Bible Study Fellowship (BSF), I think of Joshua and the words God gave HIM. 

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

God repeated this phrase (or phrases from it) repeatedly throughout Joshua’s life.  Joshua was a young man who was a great military leader and soldier and had seen and fought in numerous battles.  Did he struggle with fear?  There’s some reason why God gave him this message time and time again.  For one thing, some of the people living in Canaan were truly giants; they were the Philistines (remember Goliath was one of them).  According to scripture, they towered over “normal sized” folks, such as the Israelites.  Certainly, any of us can understand why defeating a people like that would instill fear.

But even when Joshua was just going into “normal” battles, God reminds him of this truth. 

If we truly believe God knows us better than we know ourselves (and I do), then perhaps he realizes that Joshua needs this reassurance.  Even the best soldier would have to grow weary after 7 years of fighting.

Do you grow weary of your fear?  I certainly have!

But at 56 years old, I’ve found the only remedy for my fear that is truly effective is God.  Crying out to Him, spending time with Him, confessing this gripping, crippling fear to Him is the only thing that helps me live in peace.  The struggle can still be real at times.  But I’m learning more and more to release my fears to HIM daily…moment by moment. 

Living “freed up” is one of my goals.  And I think it’s a lofty one.  God wants me to focus on others and “love my neighbor as myself”.  There’s no way I can accomplish that if I’m so paralyzed and consumed by my own fears.

As a “teacher in training” in college, I learned to write lesson plans.  Oh, the hours this would take especially as an elementary teacher with every subject to teach.  But after that first year of teaching, I learned to make short cuts to survive!  The procedures were in my head, the materials I needed might be on a list, but the MOST important part of the lesson plan was THE OBJECTIVE.  Back in the 1990s it went something like, “The student will be able to….”  Even in 2019, objectives are still written this way.  Even with all the changes in education!!

My point being, my objective here needs to be “The student (in this case, you or me) will be able to relinquish his/her fear to God by….”.

Now the second most important part of the lesson plan after the objective would be the methods.  How am I going to accomplish this goal with the students?  Are students going to work in groups?  Be engaged in activity to practice the skill?  Watch me as I demonstrate on the board?  Read and listen as I explain?  You get the picture.

Here are some suggestions for “relinquishing the fear to God” on that have worked for me…

Confess your fear to Him and that you need help to overcome it.  Then learn as many scriptures on this subject.  One from childhood always comes back to me because of its simplicity, “What time I am afraid, I will trust in you, O God” Psalm

Or “God is my refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble.  Therefore, we will NOT FEAR though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea…” Psalm 46:1-3

Here are just a few more that I’ve found particularly helpful or effective.

Picturing myself, like Peter, in a boat and the waves bouncing me up and down and the rain pelting me…terrified, but I step out keeping my eyes on Jesus…giving HIM whatever my fear is.

Or this is one I use most often.  Not sure if my Youth Minister, Larry Lawrence, taught it like this years ago.  Whatever the case, it made an impression…and it’s stayed with me for some 40+ years.  I picture myself walking up to Jesus on the cross.  He is hanging there, and I bow at the foot of the cross, laying my son…my mom…whatever or whoever the fear is related to.  Jesus assures me that no fear is too great for HIM.  I stay there, bowed down…relinquishing control to the ONE and ONLY ONE WORTHY TO BE PRAISED!!

Hope these “methods” help you accomplish your objective.  I’d love for you to comment and pass on your ideas for overcoming your fear.