Have you ever felt distant from God? Wondered why you’re not “hearing from Him” when you’re reading the Word, praying and going to church? As the old adage goes, “God hasn’t moved.”
Obviously, there are many reasons why you might be “going through the motions”, but not feeling intimacy from the Lord. Lack of obedience, unconfessed sin, habitual sin or other reasons. Perhaps, friend, there is some bitterness, unforgiveness in your heart towards a family member, friend, co-worker or someone. You’ve tried to bury it. But it’s there.
And that unforgiveness is affecting your relationship with others and the Lord. My former youth minister used to always remind us teens that if we’re not right horizontally in relationships, then we can’t be right vertically (as he referenced the cross). Neither can we be right in any relationship horizontally if we’re not right with God vertically. Hope this image analogy makes sense. That picture analogy has stuck with me all these years because it is so very true.
As I was thinking on this topic, I ran across this verse. Usually, we see this verse used when Jesus is talking about unbelievers hardening their hearts and not being open to accept Jesus as God’s Son – and God’s free gift of salvation. But I think Jesus is also speaking to His followers. He’s warning us to not ignore His promptings…the ones that come from the Holy Spirit to guide, warn and convict us.
“Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did at Meribah.” Psalm 95:8
Commentary on this verse states, “The psalmist warns against hardening our hearts as Israel did in the desert by continuing to resist God’s will.”
Hardening of the heart is a gradual process. I don’t know about you, but the older I get the more I realize it’s quite easy to “harden my heart”. I have to be intentional and disciplined and “tuned in” to the Holy Spirit or I can easily get off track. I must make a conscious effort to submit to HIS will vs. my own.
If I’m not in the Word daily and talking to God and Jesus, then the enemy can push my buttons or my flesh can take over.
It’s especially easy to allow the enemy or my flesh to get easily annoyed or offended with family. We spend the most time with one another; we know each other well. But we can irritate, wound and hurt each other the most, even though we love each other profoundly.
The enemy wants to divide and conquer…and disrupt and pull apart the family. Family is God’s design – and we know the enemy loves to destroy anything that was God’s creation.
But anger, bitterness and being offended can extend to co-workers, friends and even acquaintances. Once, I was angry with a complete stranger that I had never seen; I only knew her name!!! She filed a claim against my mother. I didn’t realize I was harboring unforgiveness; the Lord revealed this problem with my heart and spirit one morning when I was “still and quiet”. I’ll be honest. I told Him repeatedly how justified I was as this woman was lying through her teeth!!! I knew it; the insurance company knew it; my precious mother knew it — and God knew it! I seethed with anger over the angst and worry she put my mother through!!! But finally, I had to leave the consequences and the judgment up to the Lord. It wasn’t an easy process!! But I finally gave all my ugly emotions over to God. I desired my intimacy with Him way too much. I didn’t want to sacrifice that.
How about you?
Are you on guard and aware of the enemy’s tactics?
There is a reason God warns us in scripture, “Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life” **
Your heart has to be recalibrated daily. Anger, unforgiveness and bitterness can poison a God-filled heart if left unchecked.
Have you hardened your heart to God because someone offended you, and you still can’t get over it?
Maybe you’ve even blamed God?
I know a few people who have held on to anger and become more and more bitter through the years. They refuse to release their anger. Even after years of holding on to an issue, some I know still feel justified and REFUSE to give up their anger.
In the cases I know, the angry person has literally turned themselves into someone who is far from God – because God can’t come near you when you’re harboring that grudge or resentment. When you hold onto that unforgiveness, it’s like there is a magnet repelling God when He tries to come close…even if you know Jesus as your Savior.
How do I know? Well, I’ve experienced it myself when I’ve harbored anger, unforgiveness towards a loved one or friend. It’s not a place where I want to stay or live. Two verses that I mentioned in the first article apply here. “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15. It’s significant to bring up that these verses follow the Lord’s Prayer. In addition, this verse comes to mind. “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13. The last portion of the verse really says it all, “FORGIVE AS THE LORD FORGAVE YOU”. This principle leaves us without excuse. He showed us mercy and love. We should do the same.
His forgiveness, kindness and mercy should be our motivation and compel us to forgive.
It’s beyond sad when I think of the Christians I know who have carried anger with them for decades. They change…and not for the better. They hurt themselves in the process. I can’t help think of this saying, “As you get older, you either get bitter or better.” Part of that equation is not holding on to anger and bitterness.
Are you bitter or better?
As you ponder that question, let me relay one last personal story.
I was blessed indeed to have parents who not only taught me principles in the Word, but they modeled the lessons as well.
My dad strongly believed in forgiving others. He didn’t hold grudges. He lived this example before me and the rest of my family as far back as I can remember.
Once when I was grown, out of the house and married, I became so angry with one of my dad’s sisters. Oh, I loved her. I was never unkind to her or expressed my feelings openly. But if I’m being completely honest, this particular aunt could be selfish and self-absorbed (yes, she was a believer in Jesus). In this instance, she had not taken my dad’s advice about something in which he was an expert. Seriously. She had totally disregarded his advice. That was her prerogative, but since she was single my dad usually helped and advised her in certain matters. I felt she had disrespected my dad. But on top of that, she had taken advantage of my parents financially. The details aren’t important. What is important is the conversation that ensued afterwards. I was steaming…boiling angry…and I told my dad that. I asked him how he could be so calm. I remember saying, “Dad, don’t you think you should confront her?” It bears mentioning that this incident wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. There was a pattern of behavior from her.
We were outside of their house talking in the driveway. It was just the two of us. I’ll never forget my precious dad’s response. He said, “Puddi (his term of endearment for me from the time he first laid eyes on me), how many times?” I replied, “What, Dad?” At this point, I was frustrated with him that he wasn’t on my revenge/angry bandwagon. He asked me again, “How many times does HE say we’re supposed to turn the other cheek and forgive?”
What could I say in response to that? I knew my wise dad was correct. Dad was referring to the verse in Matthew 18:22 when Peter poses the question to Jesus if he’s supposed to forgive his brother who has sinned against him 7 times? Jesus answered, “I tell you not just seven times, but seventy-seven times!”
From what I’ve read and commentaries I’ve studies, Jesus is not saying to literally forgiven one who has offended you that literal number. But he is suggesting that we continually forgive and turn the other cheek. In other words, we don’t keep up with how many times we forgive. It’s just a way of life. It certainly was and is for Jesus.
Or stated another way. Forgiveness should be constant if we’re to be like Jesus.
Does that seem impossible to you?
It does to me. And it should be! Jesus knew this. We can only forgive and get past those who have hurt us by being connected to Him. His Spirit…the Spirit of Jesus…the Holy Spirit gives us the POWER, STRENGTH to do the impossible…to let go of the offense.
Maybe you’re thinking, Laura, you have no idea what this person did to me! All I know, dear one, is God had every RIGHT to hold each of us accountable for our sin. Jesus would’ve been justified to blame us. But HE didn’t. God didn’t.
The power that God displayed when He raised Jesus from the dead is available to each of us that knows and has accepted Jesus. We just have to access it – and ask Him for help. That same power that raised Jesus from the dead is available to each of us that has HIM living inside of us!!! That power can give us the strength needed to forgive. Not just help to carry burdens and navigate through trials, but the ONLY ONE who can supply what’s needed to lay down our own rights and truly forgive.
Sounds too simple, right?
The story below is one of my favorites regarding forgiveness. And it’s such a powerful example of forgiveness that can only occur when we rely on Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
I close with this excerpt from the Gospel Coalition on the life and testimony of Corrie ten Boon. If you’ve never read her book, The Hiding Place, I strongly encourage you to read it in 2023. Please take time to read this amazing true confession from her life on the power of forgiveness.
Corrie Ten Boom worked against the Nazis in World War Two hiding Jews in her home. When she was caught, she was sent to a concentration camp where she was stripped of her dignity, saw her father and her sister (Betsie) die, and suffered more at the hands of other people than we could possibly imagine. This is precisely why her encounter with forgiveness is so memorable:
“It was at a church service in Munich that I saw him, the former S.S. man who had stood guard at the shower door in the processing center at Ravensbruck. He was the first of our actual jailers that I had seen since that time. And suddenly it was all there – the roomful of mocking men, the heaps of clothing, Betsie’s pain-blanched face.
He came up to me as the church was emptying, beaming and bowing. ‘How grateful I am for your message, Fraulein.’ He said. ‘To think that, as you say, He has washed my sins away!’
His hand was thrust out to shake mine. And I, who preached so often to the people in Bloemendaal the need to forgive, kept my hand at my side.
Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him.
I tried to smile, I struggled to raise my hand. I could not. I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity. And so again I breathed a silent prayer. Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me your forgiveness.
As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me.
And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on his. When he tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself.”
Forgiveness can be hard, but it is not in our forgiveness “that the world’s healing hinges, but on his.” We are given the opportunity to participate in the love that Jesus extends to the world with our forgiveness. I find this a great encouragement: that Christ gives us the love we need to forgive as we practice forgiveness.
I don’t know what’s going on in your life, I don’t know who you are struggling to forgive, but I pray that you might find encouragement in Corrie’s story to see the forgiving love of Jesus in your life.
Laura's Lines 