Do you like donuts? Me, too! I mean, who doesn’t like donuts? A chocolate cake donut from Dunkin or a mouth-watering glazed Krispy Kreme sounds pretty yummy right now.
Why am I writing about donuts?
Our church just concluded another Vacation Bible School. How thankful we were to be HAVING VBS after not being able to last year due to the coronavirus. But I digress.
One of the lessons I taught to 6th-7th graders was to pretend you are like a donut. Yes, you read correctly. God gave me this idea from a video series I watched with our son, Nathan, years ago when he was quite young. The Donut Man talked to young kids about this very thing. I just took his idea and capitalized on it.
I am asking you to pause and contemplate for a moment. You, like the donut, have a hole inside of you. Oh, you can’t see it. If a surgeon opened you up for heart surgery, he couldn’t identify it. But it’s there. You know it is…deep inside. It aches; it longs; it desires.
But we trying filling that hole with a lit bit of everything – material possessions for one or maybe just money. Do you obsess over making money or constantly think about it? Do you struggle to trust God with your finances or you’re never satisfied with what you have? Or is it material things? Are you constantly wanting more to “keep up with the Jones’, so to speak?
Think for a minute how fleeting all of it is. I like to shop as much as the next girl…clothes, shoes, etc. All of it is appealing. For me, jewelry is a weakness. Sometimes I just choose to stay out of the jewelry department so I’m not tempted to buy a necklace or a pair of earrings that I don’t really need. Recently, we were out of town and in an area with a Brighton outlet. Now, I love Brighton jewelry (made it Brighton, England). I’ve told my hubby if we ever have the privilege of going to the actual place where the jewelry is made to watch out; I am not sure I would have much self-control. This particular day I discovered the Brighton outlet, the store was having a very good sale on certain merchandise. I purchased a pair of earrings; they were unique, unusual, stunning and I knew they would go with everything. I have enjoyed those earrings. I only paid $20 for them!! Quite a steal, if you’re familiar with Brighton prices. But, I realized a few hours later and especially the next day. That purchase was somewhat empty. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I still like the earrings; I still get compliments on them. But, I really didn’t need them. They only brought me pleasure for a very brief time.
That’s the way most things in life that we try to fill ourselves up with are…true? Think of your hobbies. Gardening, exercising, playing music, sewing, fishing, hunting…whatever yours may be. It’s all fleeting.
None of these things are wrong or bad. But none will every truly fill us up.
There are folks we know – maybe even some reading this – that try to fill themselves up with drugs or alcohol. It could be illegal drugs or prescription drugs. Whatever the case, we know all of these are just temporary fixes. Recently, Norman and I met a waitress at Waffle House that told us a little bit about her background. A huge smile came across her face, and she beamed when she shared with us that she was 6 years sober. I knew from her words and her countenance that it had been a struggle to get there. But she was taking it one day at a time – and depending on the Lord as she chose every day to choose HIM over the drinking. I tried to praise her and tell her how proud I was of her! I only know from a family member just a taste of how difficult this particular struggle might be.
Maybe you don’t struggle to fill that void up with anything horrible like alcohol, drugs, violence or the like. Yours could even be work. The Lord tells us in the Bible it’s good to be disciplined and work and plan for the future. But we can get it out of balance and become a work-aholic.
It could be sports…playing a certain sport, watching a certain sport on TV. Don’t you have that friend that he/she can only talk about sports and is totally obsessed with it, whether it be baseball, football, tennis or soccer?
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with these things. We all need outlets. We all need extracurricular activities and distractions that help us destress, relax and just enjoy life.
But, bottom line. Think of it like this. Before Norman and I were married and just engaged, we went through marriage counseling at my home church. Dr. Charles Carter, the preacher that married us, didn’t do the counseling himself. But the associate pastor, Ed Hoard, conducted the sessions to get us prepared to be husband and wife. Neither of us knew what to expect. We already knew Ed well and that helped us relax and be ourselves. But I was stunned at our first session. Just on a plain piece of paper, Ed had us individually think about our growing up years, our teenage years and our adult years (both of us were older singles when we married – Norman 33 years old and me 27 years old). But our ages really didn’t matter. Ed had each of us draw 3 buckets on our paper. The first bucket we labeled “physical”, the 2nd bucket we labeled “emotional”, and the last bucket we labeled “spiritual”. He had us evaluate ourselves, as well as our parents and how our needs were met. The first one was the easiest. Were your primary needs met by your parents? Were you protected by your parents? Cared for, given food, clothes and necessities to meet physical needs? Norman and I were blessed to both have that bucket completely filled. We drew our lines up to the brim on that particular bucket. But the other two were more tenable. I won’t get into specifics. But one of us was able to fill the emotional bucket up to the brim; the other one not as much. As far as the spiritual bucket, it was the same. One of us drew “our fill line” up to the brim; the other one was not as full. Why would Ed have us do this exercise?
The same reason I’m asking you to think of yourself as a donut. You are incomplete. You have a void…a hole in the core of you, if you will. Just like a donut can only be filled by just one certain munchkin, the one that was made specifically for it. You and I are the same way. God, through His Son, Jesus, is the ONLY ONE who can fill us up.
As Ed’s wise exercise taught us, your spouse can’t fill you up. Your spouse can’t make up for deficiencies with your parents or in your past. If you look to your spouse to make up for those weaknesses, you will end up blaming him/her and resenting or blaming. It was one of THE best things I learned in marriage counseling…not to look to Norman to fill me up.
How about you?
Here’s a verse I shared with the kiddos.
Matthew 6:33 – “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.”
Filling that empty place with God first is the key, according to this verse. For me, that means sacrificing time to get up early to be in the Word and to have time to pray and listen…not just praying on the go. You know what I mean, right?
Being filled up with God/Jesus and the Holy Spirit happens when you first ask Jesus to come in and be your Savior. But, in my opinion, from that point on, you must be intentional to stay connected. I’m not saying you have to work at your salvation. But you do have to work at your relationship.
Romans 12: 1-2 reminds us “Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” Conforming to the pattern of this world is fairly easy. It’s a no brainer. If I watch the same TV shows, listen to the same music or indulge in the same activities as the world, then I’m going to look the same, act the same and “fit in”. But God tells me to “renew my mind”. There’s only one way to do that…spending quality time with Him, through His Son, Jesus. Time in the Bible, time talking to Him and time listening…so that over time my attitudes, my mindset, my mind and heart are slowly and gradually changed to be more like HIM and less like the world.
Even this morning, I was reminded that I can so look to others to fill me up. I’m a pleaser by nature. But ultimately, there’s only ONE I want and/or need to please.
How about you? The next time you eat a donut, ask the Lord to help you be aware of who/what you’re looking to when it comes to filling you up. Remember, HE is your Creator. He knows how to fill you up and satisfy you better than anyone or anything else. It’s time well spent getting “filled”.
Now, go eat a donut for me!!
Laura's Lines 