Praise

Have you ever gone through a situation in life that stressed, taxed and took all the starch out of you?  Maybe it was a financial issue; perhaps it was a health issue for yourself or a loved one; maybe it was a chronic medical issue with your child or even a difficult spouse that was beyond obstinate and cooperative.

For me, in the last few years, it was not only caregiving but watching the life ebb out of both of my parents and pass from this life to the next.

We moved my parents out of their beautiful home they built and lived in for over 30 years in 2017.  It was a tough decision; neither my husband or I had to twist their arms.  Both knew it was time. 

While I was so grateful for that blessing, it still wasn’t easy.

We moved them, as well as my aunt (Dad’s remaining sister), to an independent living facility just a stone’s throw from their house.  It was a lovely place, and they already knew many from their church.

Barely a month and a half after getting them moved in and their new apartment all fixed up with fresh paint on the walls, shelves hung in the pantry, pictures on the wall and new furniture purchased, my dad, Henry, went into the hospital, with an exacerbation of congestive heart failure.  He had fluid build-up in his legs.  He lost strength. He lost muscle.  He lost energy.  My 6’ 4” Daddy who had always been bigger than life and could fix anything, lift anything, repair my car or make things better, was reduced to not being able to get up on his own and was weak.  It was excruciating to witness.

Mom and I played tag team.  I would go one day; she would go the next or both of us would eventually be at the hospital.  He was never alone.

When he was finally released from the hospital, I moved in with them for about 5-6 weeks.  It was truly my privilege to care for my dad and to help my mom with him.  Mom was already on a walker (an explanation for another time).  All that to say, Mom could not do everything that was needed for Dad.  She had enough issues of her own.  Because of her mobility issues and struggles with balance, she knew it was beyond her.  Mom was fiercely independent and had been a caregiver for her mother, as well as others.  For her to realize that she couldn’t care for her beloved Henry on her own was a tough reality.

There were things I did for my precious father during that time that surprise even me when I look back.  Helping him in the bathroom, helping him dress and just with personal hygiene issues became the “norm”.  The first time I was needed for this type of labor or love, Mom just broke down and said (in front of my dad), “Oh, Laura, I hate you’re having to do this.  You shouldn’t have to be doing this.”  But I had to talk to her afterwards and tell her, “Mom, it can’t be helped.  It is what it is.”  I knew it somewhat embarrassed my dad.  But at that point, he felt too poorly to care.  I had to gently talk to Mom and let her know that we needed to move beyond that and just face the reality.  She did.

I won’t say that doing for Dad in those circumstances was easy, but it was a privilege.  Even in those awkward and uncomfortable moments, I had the pleasure of serving and ministering to a man who had sacrificed and given to me all my life.  I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that was the highest calling and the primary calling in my life for that time.  There was a peace even in the midst of that difficult storm.

All my life, I had been close to my parents.  But this health crisis drew all of us closer to the Lord and each other. It drew my parents closer to one another.  Dad depended on Mom even more, and she tried to give him the energy and motivation to fight what was going on in his body.

It drew me closer to my hubby, Norman, as I vented to him and look to him for strength and solace.  But it also had a surprised affecting of drawing my parents closer to my hubby, Norman, as well.  Both of them depended on him even more and looked to him for help with decisions and really for strength and stability.

Most days, I walked outside the independent living facility just to get a change of scenery and see the outdoors.  In the evenings, I would walk on various floors.  I walked to keep the weight off, reduce stress and just for some light exercise. 

But most days or evenings as I walked, I also conversed with the Lord. This major change in my dad had me crying out to my Heavenly Father like never before.  I realized, like never before, that to get through this and have strength and be what I needed to physically, mentally and emotionally, it would all need to come from the Lord (I sure didn’t have it in me without Jesus). It was a time of refreshing and connecting that I looked forward to.  I poured my heart out to him for many specific needs regarding Dad.  But I also prayed for Mom to have strength, energy, be comforted as she watched the love of her life decline and struggle.  I prayed for her not to overdo in caring for him (that was totally her tendency – to sacrifice herself for the one she loved so).  I lifted my hubby, Norman, for continued patience and understanding during this health crisis.  For him to not resent Mom or Dad for taking me away. Norman had been so supportive, but we all have our limits.

God taught me so much during this season.  I learned to be more and more dependent on Him, and I learned to work and keep pressing forward even when it hurt to see my dad suffering, declining in health and unable to do for himself.  I learned to “press on” and do what was needed in the moment, even when my flesh felt like curling up in a ball and crying and giving up.

Weary, worn out, exhausted at various times – not knowing how or when this journey would end and not being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I applied something I had learned in two ministries I had been involved with for most of my life. 

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I love church and grew up loving the church and learning so much from wonderful preachers, pastors, peers and those who were seniors to me and had much wisdom.  I learned from watching them, being in ministry and serving beside them; I learned from listening as they all had wisdom.  But two ministries outside the church have greatly impacted my life.

One is Moms In Prayer (formerly Moms In Touch).  God literally plopped this ministry in my lap the year Nathan started kindergarten.  It’s a saga for another time, but suffice it to say that the principles in this ministry taught me to pray back scripture.  The format you use when praying is an outline that is based on The Lord’s Prayer. And because mothers and grandmothers are involved,  a format is needed  or we women would ramble and not stay focused when praying for our kids/grands.  Anyway, you begin with Praise, proceed to silent Confession, corporate Thanksgiving, Supplication for children (a Bible verse and then a specific request), then supplication for teachers, staff and the school and finally the ministry of MIP.  The most powerful section from this list, in my opinion, is Praise.  Before beginning MIP, I don’t know that I had ever truly PRAISED the Lord.  I had thanked Him for blessings, answers to prayer, ways I had witnessed Him work and move.  But PRAISE is different.  Praise is  focusing on God’s character and who HE is — not what He has done for you.  In the beginning, it wasn’t easy to separate the two.  But through the years, Praise became so important.  I couldn’t even have my own devotional time without beginning with this important and crucial aspect.  Also, I noticed a trend…when the ladies in my group and I saw MAJOR corporate answers to prayers for our children, it seemed to be directly tied to when our PRAISE time had been especially meaningful.  I’m in no way saying God only answers prayers when we praise Him and follow a certain formula.  All I mean is PRAISE took on special significance. 

Not only that, but MIP teaches you to focus in one attribute of God each week as you pray.  Furthermore, Bible Study Fellowship is an organization that has impacted my life as well.  It’s a non-denominational Bible study that teaches you how to study the Bible in a 4-pronged approach.  Truly, nothing has grown my understanding of the Bible more than this great method and wonderful organization.  Bible Study Fellowship taught me to PRAISE as well and focus in on attributes of God.

Why in the world do I digress and mention these two organizations now?

Because during this time, God reminded me at every turn to PRAISE Him, even when I didn’t feel like it.  Even when I was worn out and felt like I needed to pour my heart out about Dad and his needs or Mom and hers or Norman/me and our marriage, God whispered to me that HE was the source of my strength.  Offering Him a sacrifice of PRAISE helped me look up and get my eyes on HIM vs. just being down or distraught about the current circumstance.  Focusing on God being Sovereign; Meditating on God being My Refuge and Strength; Telling Him that He had been My Guide in the Past and would continue to be; Praising Him for being My Creator, Redeemer, Savior and Friend caused me to have hope and to put HIM first vs. the problems at hand.  It was truly healing, comforting and gave strength to my soul.  Were there days when I didn’t feel like it?  You bet!  That’s the moments when you plow through anyway and truly offer the sacrifice.

Why do I share this journey with you, friend?

Because whatever you’re going through – marriage struggles, parenting difficulties, a prodigal child, financial burdens, chronic health problems, letting go and sending your immature teen to college, depression, anxiety or whatever the case, it’s easy to focus on the issue at hand.  Anyone can do that.  A non-believer does that.  But as a disciple of Jesus Christ, we are called to die to self and exalt the ONLY ONE Worthy of Our Praise!! 

It should be no surprise that all of this truth is contained within the Bible, God’s Word. 

How many Psalms begin with the phrase, “Praise the Lord”?  I haven’t actually stopped to count, but they are numerous.

One of my favorites is Psalm 103 that begins, “Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.  Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits…”  When is the last time you stopped to PRAISE the Lord for WHO He is?  To really stop and meditate on HIM vs. how He has blessed you and what He has given you but to just focus on His character.

I won’t lie.  At first, it’s not easy.  But once you start, it feels right as you realize it does your heart, mind and spirit good to PRAISE.  He alone is the ONLY ONE truly WORTHY of our Praise!  Burdens become lighter when we Praise; problems still remain problems, but usually PRAISING helps put them in the proper perspective.  PRAISE creates intimacy between you and the Father.

Hebrews 13:15 states, “Through Jesus, therefore let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise.”  In the next entry on Praise, I will attach a list of attributes to help in this journey.  Until then, start your quiet time PRAISING the Lord.  Resist the urge to thank Him for even specific answers to prayer or even blessings.  Don’t ask Him for a thing until you have first gone before His throne of grace and stopped to contemplate who He is and why He is God.  It’s truly life changing!  Praying this suggestion helps even one person reading this.